When to disrupt schooling for a move?

[simonethebeaver]

Not an immediate concern but seeing the thread about DVI/DHJS has made me think.

We have one child of 10 (yr 5), one of 2 and one of 0. Our plan is to leave London once our oldest finishes school, for various reasons. We have lots of longish term plans to work around this move so actually should start getting some idea of timings sooner rather than later.

Ideally we need to move to get middle child into a new school no later than yr 6, for secondary applications. This fits with the end of eldest child's A levels, or whatever they will be by then. But would that be a nightmare for middle child, arriving for just a year of a new school? The alternative is to move after year 11, giving her three years at a different school. But would eldest child resent having to leave his friends at that age? Youngest child just gets pulled along obviously.

[monniemae]

I moved in what would now be year 6 for two terms before secondary; it was fine and if the school was going to be full of kids going to the same secondary might be q nice for child 2 to make some friends before scary big school.

I still forever resented being yanked out of London just as I was old enough to start being interested in it but I imagine that would be massively amplified for a 15/16 year old. Depends where you're moving to though of course!

Fwiw my younger brother was 7 so year... 3? when we moved and he struggled much more than me though it sounds like yours would be a bit older - from what I remember reading it's 4-7 yr olds that find moving hardest (in primary aged kids)

[womanofdulwich]

My parents moved a lot, which had advantages and disadvantages. The last move at school age was when I was 13, and then they did not move till I was 22. The hardest move was when I was 13, as it was the last one, but the ones before that were ok. You are the novelty in a new school.If its your only move I think its fine, its when you know you are only staying for 1-2 years its harder to work up friendships.

One of my best friends is a girl I sat next to from age 10-12. Its easier of you have siblings too.

Good luck.

[canela]

if you wait a bit longer you might find your eldest will be moving towards independence anyway - gap year, university, work etc?

i think it depends a lot on the child. i moved school but not house for year 10 and i found it really difficult. but it was to a really big school. maybe primary is easier?

[Chief Jeff]

My family moved out of London when I was ten - I just had one year at a village primary school, and, exactly as said above, you make friends quickly and it was good to have some friends for the start of secondary school. Mid-teens are difficult years for some (all?) kids and I imagine it would be harder to make new friends at that age.

Moving when the eldest leaves school will also be hard for that child if he/she goes away to uni. My parents moved again when I was 19 and I really resented not being able to see my friends during the holidays(though I didn't have younger siblings to keep me company).

[simonethebeaver]

Hi, thanks all. Useful thoughts.

Moving after A levels damn well means he'll be moving towards independence!

Chief Jeff, I get your point, but the rest of us can't sit around in a house and area that isn't right for us just to provide a holiday home for a university student. I lost all contact with most of my school friends when I went to university for difficult reasons and we'll support him however we can if he wants to see them after we've moved.

[canela]

on the plus side...if I had been able to move house and area when I was a kid I would have loved it. Especially to the countryside. All depends on how fun you make it....