Christmas Cheese!

[pikeyed]

Well, I know that the topic of cheese is very popular on the forum so figured this would be well responded to. I have volunteered to do the christmas cheese board for my family on Christmas day. Usually my partner and I like to shop plastic free and local but that could end up pricey for around 20 adults. Any recommendations?

[jazzer]

pm'd you

[Moovart]

13 hours ago, pikeyed said:

Well, I know that the topic of cheese is very popular on the forum so figured this would be well responded to. I have volunteered to do the christmas cheese board for my family on Christmas day. Usually my partner and I like to shop plastic free and local but that could end up pricey for around 20 adults. Any recommendations?

The Cheese Block on Lordship Lane.  Great variety of delicious cheeses at varied prices.

[Penguin68]

Mons, at the other end of LL, has excellent cheeses too, but is also not cheap. In their case, as for the Cheese Block, price is matched by quality. I have always found the cheese they sell to be in excellent condition. As well as good examples of their type. 

[ed_pete]

14 hours ago, pikeyed said:

Well, I know that the topic of cheese is very popular on the forum so figured this would be well responded to. I have volunteered to do the christmas cheese board for my family on Christmas day. Usually my partner and I like to shop plastic free and local but that could end up pricey for around 20 adults. Any recommendations?

So you want non-supermarket, artisan cheese, for 20 adults.

Decent cheese from a cheesemonger will cost at least £25 a kg (probably more), so allowing 100g each that's 2kg so expect to pay £50-£60.

Good luck finding anything cheaper that isn't from a supermarket.

[Angelina]

Borough market has good cheese

[David Peckham]

If you can track down the owners of the now defunct Heritage Cheese in the village, there could be some stock-clearance bargains if you don't mind your cheese a little pre-nibbled.

[pikeyed]

Thanks to everybody for the responses. Agree that £50-60 is somewhat excessive so supermarket is likely to be the route we take.

[David Peckham]

If you're going British, Marks and Sparks do a fantastic Cornish Cruncher Cheddar (get the three year old if it's on offer) and a Stilton/Stichelton which are wrapped in something more like wax paper. 

I'm pretty sure they used to do a Stinking Bishop which had minimal plastic wrapping, as well.

Edited 4 hours ago by David Peckham
Clarification

[ed_pete]

55 minutes ago, pikeyed said:

Thanks to everybody for the responses. Agree that £50-60 is somewhat excessive so supermarket is likely to be the route we take.

Buy it from the supermarket. Cut in it into wedges. Wrap neatly in greaseproof paper. No one will no any different.

[CPR Dave]

1 hour ago, David Peckham said:

If you can track down the owners of the now defunct Heritage Cheese in the village, there could be some stock-clearance bargains if you don't mind your cheese a little pre-nibbled.

I think they still have a shop in Borough Market??

https://www.instagram.com/heritagecheeseuk/?hl=en-gb

 

[exdulwicher]

Another vote for The Cheese Block on LL but for 20 adults, you'd better be willing to pay a fair chunk of money or hope that they'll be happy with very small amounts of cheese!

Other than that, supermarket or search online for a large Christmas cheese hamper and take your pick. For example:
https://www.finecheese.co.uk/collections/christmas-selections-hampers

(only mentioning them as we had a gift hamper, much smaller than a big Christmas one, from them a while ago and it was very nice). I'm sure there are other excellent options.

[David Peckham]

2 hours ago, ed_pete said:

Buy it from the supermarket. Cut in it into wedges. Wrap neatly in greaseproof paper. No one will no any different.

An excellent point, ed. I reckon you could possibly get the cheese down to 75g per person depending on how many courses, the cheese media one is using and the accompiaments. A thicker biscuit can really increase the power of your cheese dollar.

I'd also recommend putting all the last year's chutneys and pickles from the back of the cupboard in a single Kilner jar, adding a bit of malt vinegar and a grated apple, then attaching a hand written label saying 'Pikey's Pickle: Autumn 2025'. 

It's not Megan Markle levels of domestic deceit, but it works every time.

Pre-portioning cheese seems arbitrary, but I think acceptable when it's 20 people. It gives people an idea of how much a serving is, and negates the issue of somebody, normally a brother in law or cousin's new boyfriend, not taking their share of the rind. Remember, you're doing them a favour. Somewhere in the room there's an older family member who could see it and never forget. It's disinheritance stuff.

It also gives rise to the great postprandial game of 'Cheese!' where guests can swap their share of cheese for another. Tastier than Monopoly and far less cardboardy, cheeses can be traded like currency or commodities. Hard and soft cheeses, dependent on their relative strengths, normally settle at close to parity but I've seen blue cheeses trade at less than half the price. 

It's a Stilton lover's paradise, if you can hold your nerve. 

Goat cheese lovers can clean up, but need to beware. As volatile as the 1970's Argentinian Peso, it's up and down like a bride's nightie.

 

2 hours ago, CPR Dave said:

I think they still have a shop in Borough Market??

https://www.instagram.com/heritagecheeseuk/?hl=en-gb

 

I think I'll stick to Neal's Yard, then.

[teddyboy23]

Cut the people list down to 3. Spend £16  simples

[Pugwash]

I purchased some unusual cheeses in Aldi a couple of weeks ago for a Christmas Social with 20 odd people. Also supplemented it with various cheeses from Sainsburys', 

[Sue]

3 hours ago, David Peckham said:

I'm pretty sure they used to do a Stinking Bishop which had minimal plastic wrapping, as well.

That must have been fun for everybody passing it as they shopped 🤣

[HeadNun]

I'm glad all this talk of cheese has enticed David Peckham back to the forum. 

[pikeyed]

1 hour ago, David Peckham said:

An excellent point, ed. I reckon you could possibly get the cheese down to 75g per person depending on how many courses, the cheese media one is using and the accompiaments. A thicker biscuit can really increase the power of your cheese dollar.

I'd also recommend putting all the last year's chutneys and pickles from the back of the cupboard in a single Kilner jar, adding a bit of malt vinegar and a grated apple, then attaching a hand written label saying 'Pikey's Pickle: Autumn 2025'. 

It's not Megan Markle levels of domestic deceit, but it works every time.

Pre-portioning cheese seems arbitrary, but I think acceptable when it's 20 people. It gives people an idea of how much a serving is, and negates the issue of somebody, normally a brother in law or cousin's new boyfriend, not taking their share of the rind. Remember, you're doing them a favour. Somewhere in the room there's an older family member who could see it and never forget. It's disinheritance stuff.

It also gives rise to the great postprandial game of 'Cheese!' where guests can swap their share of cheese for another. Tastier than Monopoly and far less cardboardy, cheeses can be traded like currency or commodities. Hard and soft cheeses, dependent on their relative strengths, normally settle at close to parity but I've seen blue cheeses trade at less than half the price. 

It's a Stilton lover's paradise, if you can hold your nerve. 

Goat cheese lovers can clean up, but need to beware. As volatile as the 1970's Argentinian Peso, it's up and down like a bride's nightie.

 

I think I'll stick to Neal's Yard, then.

Thank you, this really made me chuckle. It's like you met my brother as he would be the one taking more than his share. Plus the 'pikey' chutney is a winner.

49 minutes ago, Pugwash said:

I purchased some unusual cheeses in Aldi a couple of weeks ago for a Christmas Social with 20 odd people. Also supplemented it with various cheeses from Sainsburys', 

Unusual as in can't be identified???

1 hour ago, teddyboy23 said:

Cut the people list down to 3. Spend £16  simples

Sadly I'm not the host otherwise I would definitely do that

2 hours ago, exdulwicher said:

Another vote for The Cheese Block on LL but for 20 adults, you'd better be willing to pay a fair chunk of money or hope that they'll be happy with very small amounts of cheese!

Other than that, supermarket or search online for a large Christmas cheese hamper and take your pick. For example:
https://www.finecheese.co.uk/collections/christmas-selections-hampers

(only mentioning them as we had a gift hamper, much smaller than a big Christmas one, from them a while ago and it was very nice). I'm sure there are other excellent options.

I regularly shop in the Cheese Block and am a fan. But as people have pointed out, there is no cheese shop that charges less based on bulk, so Aldi unusual cheeses may be what the familam receive!

3 hours ago, CPR Dave said:

I think they still have a shop in Borough Market??

https://www.instagram.com/heritagecheeseuk/?hl=en-gb

 

Yay, so I can get discounted mouse nibbled cheese still!

4 hours ago, David Peckham said:

If you're going British, Marks and Sparks do a fantastic Cornish Cruncher Cheddar (get the three year old if it's on offer) and a Stilton/Stichelton which are wrapped in something more like wax paper. 

I'm pretty sure they used to do a Stinking Bishop which had minimal plastic wrapping, as well.

Oooo, now I do love a Stinking Bishop. It actually offends my stepmum by it's stinkiness but luckily she is not one of the attendees at this particular gathering. 

3 hours ago, ed_pete said:

Buy it from the supermarket. Cut in it into wedges. Wrap neatly in greaseproof paper. No one will no any different.

This is blooming genius. It's actually my partner who has the biggest issue with buying in plastic so I will have to hide the wrappers from him!