To the mums in a local cafe this morning....

[NannyFH]

To the group of mums with their young children in a local child friendly cafe this morning be wary of who you are sat next to whilst you sit and loudly slag off your Nannies for nearly an hour. I will not comment on individual stories as I'm sure some have merit but it is rude to talk about

Your nanny by name and list all their individual faults so loudly that everyone else in the cafe could hear.

As a nanny I would be very upset if I knew my bosses were meeting and discussing me by name to their friends - it's rude and unprofessional - how

Would you feel if a boss

Did that in your work environments? Very inappropriate. I'd be thankful we didn't know your nannies personally as we'd be telling them about your rudeness.

What made matters worse was that whilst you were huddled around the table

Comparing 'crappy nanny behaviours' your own children were snatching toys, throwing tantrums riding their scooters inside and generally being loud and uncontrolled menaces. Yet ironically our children the ones with us terrible nannies, were

Polite, courteous, quiet and played beautifully the whole time we were there.

Maybe next time you meet for coffee and a critique of your employees be wary we nannies

Are very protective of one another and whilst I appreciate that yes, some nannies aren't perfect, you maybe ought to look at little closer at yourselves to begin with before you loudly castigate your employees in a public space.

I am not naming the cafe as it's unprofessional on my behalf but I really was outraged and felt the need to say something- I just wish in hindsight id had the courage to say it to your faces.

[SpriteCat]

It would really hurt me if one of my bosses did that, after spending all of my time nurturing their children like they are my own!

[fl0wer]

Yes, I wish you had too. I know it would have been difficult to find the right way to frame your thoughts out loud but I completely agree with your responses.

However: treating Nannies impolitely is nothing new. The old one who brought me up over 50 years ago said the worst employers were always the 'jumped-up' ones (i.e. newly rich).

[Monkey]

Nanny bashing is pretty common in my office. generally comes from women who see their babies once in a blue moon but would do things soooo much better.

[kapaxiana]

5 stars to this post! I am not a nanny but I was and I totally appreciate what you are saying. Having being on the other side I know that I owe the world to the person who looks after my child and keeps her safe and happy. I buy her xmas, Easter and b'day gifts from my daughter and some of my friends don't get it.

I hope those mum read this and feel like they should hide under a rock in embarrassment!

[Gill2]

How do they leave their children (the most precious things they will ever have) with someone they are not happy with?

[womanofdulwich]

Gill2 I so agree with you. Its not acceptable to employ someone and then berate them in public.

[JDR]

Totally agree with poster... Good for you for saying it and don't say something to them. They won't change and you will lose job opportunities.... However, I disagree about ' new money' just people with bad attitudes and a sense of entitlement. Any kind of money can behave like that ( regrettably)

[VALFR59]

I imagine your feeling and how upset you might have been, especially if you are part of the "good nannies"... just hope those mums are "staying at home"/ wife of leisure and not managers in companies or poor associates!

On the other hand, I was few months ago in the opposite situation, observing " A parents bashing " by a group of 3 nannies in a restaurant of the village, apparently not English native speakers,in front of the kids's employer...

I was thinking "poor hard working mums" (because not all the mums can stay at home, and some has to sacrify big part of their income to pay for the nanny!...if they known how behave the person they trust the most to raise their children is talking about them, in front of their babies/toddlers not able to repeat yet!...shame!

So I think there are spudids narrow minded mums (quite often "nouveau riche/ high level income husband hunter, I've observed it from my son's boys school. Weirdly those few mums are often characterised by a fair lack of education when they don't give reply to the basic politness "hello" to some mums not enough valuable or brisish looking or to the children's school nannies, perhaps not enough valuable to their social network!lol)... as either you have "money makers, not reliable nannies too.

I strongly beleive in this rule : "in business, you have the client you deserve!" so when you think you are unlucky, bad considered, think what can be the wrong choices you did to be in this situation :)

Personnally, I am always very straight foward with my nanny and my cleaner but in a one to one chat, with nobody around to embarassed them (and espcecially always carefull that my son is not listenning as it's not his business, neither want to give him the impression he can be bossy with them, but just to obey to them when I am not in charge!). I respect them and their work is very precious for our family, so I prefer to say quickly what worry me when something I don't appreciate happens , to open discussion/negociation. Also, I accept in return the same treatment to me by my employees and encourage it from the moment it is done with courtesy. It's an healthier Relationshp, but perhaps it's because I am a non brit and in my country we don't "beat around the bush" in the name of good manners, and to avoid conflicts. For me you can say clearly your though with politness and good manners. but it is very personnal and I deal with it evry day and totally respect the other aprroach as I am the foreigner in this country.

You know, no worry, those mums will soon or later suffer for having a sharp tongue against people close to them, and will just be surprised and in panic when one day, their nannies will let them down once they'll find a better family! for their poor kids you qualified as not very well behave, they will have an hard time when it will come time of strict discipline applied in some local schools here(because I do suppose they'll try to send them in the best private to make a part of the educationnal job done for them :)!)

Don't give up, there is also nice family employers who love their nanny!!

[Saffron]

Well said VALFR59!