Help needed for 3 year old behaviour

[willow]

I'm not sure what I need. I need to speak to someone about my 3 year old behaviour. It's not that he's naughty but totally lacks concentration to do anything and will not listen. He also seems to not want to do things well even though I know he can do them. I need to speak to someone about whether this is normal behaviour and how to manage it better

[edanna]

Sounds fairly normal! But maybe your health visitor would be a helpful first port of call if you're concerned?

[hpsaucey]

HI there - sounds normal to me too. There's a great 'Raising Boys' course at Rosendale Children's Centre - worth going on if you can get a place.

If he's concentrating on something else then he may not be 'hearing' you. Try just touching him lightly on the shoulder - when you get eye contact - even for a split second - then you know he's listening to you... Also apparently boys hearing - i.e. actually what they take in can vary from ear to ear and day to day (sounds bizarre - but got this from the Raising Boys course).

Re: 'do things well' - I guess his definition of this and a parents and whether it is 'necessary' or important to him might be different??

Go with your gut instinct as well though - Health Visitor visit good advice.

[????]

He'll grow out of it when he's about 45

[Ole]

Ours was the same, and still is to a certain extent, and I used to worry too and I am sure I have asked the same question in this forum before. Unless it is developmental milestones that you think he is missing then I think it is normal, some boys are just like that. For us, the so-called terrible two's were a breeze compared to his 'I'll do whatever I want when I want to' three's.

[oimissus]

have you had his hearing checked?

[Saila]

I have a son exactly like yours, I fell pregnant with boy 2 (sex determind early on due to CVS). Booked straight onto the raising boys course (which btw is highly critical of the book!)

I found it super helpful but now that son 2 has arrived, I've been surprised by the difference in him w/out using any tricks from the RB course. He runs up to me wanting to read books, whereas son 1 thinks everything is 'boring' if it's not climbing or running.

So I think it's a lot to do w personality.

Son 1 walked at 7 months, legging it around by 1 year. Son 2 only just starting to walk at 1.5yrs... It's been a dream this time round!

It'll just take more patience and prob more hands on help/tutoring to support your more active son...

Ps my sister has 4x kids and her girl is like my son 1. So it's not just a girl/boy thing, but personality. She literally can't sit still :/

[hpsaucey]

Saila Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I have a son exactly like yours, I fell pregnant

> with boy 2 (sex determind early on due to CVS).

> Booked straight onto the raising boys course

> (which btw is highly critical of the book!)

>

> I found it super helpful but now that son 2 has

> arrived, I've been surprised by the difference in

> him w/out using any tricks from the RB course. He

> runs up to me wanting to read books, whereas son 1

> thinks everything is 'boring' if it's not climbing

> or running.

>

> So I think it's a lot to do w personality.

>

> Son 1 walked at 7 months, legging it around by 1

> year. Son 2 only just starting to walk at

> 1.5yrs... It's been a dream this time round!

>

> It'll just take more patience and prob more hands

> on help/tutoring to support your more active

> son...

>

> Ps my sister has 4x kids and her girl is like my

> son 1. So it's not just a girl/boy thing, but

> personality. She literally can't sit still :/

This is all so true! Yes, I'd forgotten that they distance themselves from the book and rightly so.

I guess until you have a second child its hard to realise just how different they all are!

H

[Saffron]

Willow, I think you posted on this previously? Could you say what techniques you've tried, or from whom you've had support or advice? That way, Forumites might be able to give you some more specific advice. Has anything worked well, or made the situation worse? xx

[midivydale]

Yes please - do share x