Au pairs: Best & worst experiences?

[Saffron]

Mr Saff and I are thinking about having a live-in au pair for our 4.5 yo daughter. I'm wondering what experiencs (good and bad) people have had with their au pairs? What do you wish you knew before hiring an au pair? xx

[Saffron]

I'm happy for anyone to PM me if you'd rather not post publically. I'm really just looking to hear about any local experiences.

I can see there are a lot of .org type sites with guidelines about au pairs. I'm just curious what experiences ED and surrounding parents have had.

Did you get your au pair through an agency, word of mouth, forum? What accommodation and benefits did you offer? Was your au pair happy with that? Did most people find that au pairs fit in easily and were easy to manage, or have there been problems with language or family life?

Parents of singletons in particular, how did your au pair find socialising/playdates with other au pairs + children?

xx

[Fuschia]

I have some info ... Chat via Fb?

[Saffron]

Thanks, I will message you! :-)

[trevnsarah]

Our experience to date has been positive, we have 2 children nearly 4 and 6 and they have taken to the new person in the house warmly. We used an agency which provided security initially with paper work/checks etc and also when our first au pair had to go home (E Europe) urgently to care for a sick relative helped us find a replacement speedily and at no extra charge.

The agency helped us set our and the au pair's expectations and also provided some support in the first few weeks. We found (via EDF and a facebook group) there are LOTS of au pairs in the Dulwich area and once they've got their own peers to socialise with they have a nice balance of being in the home/with children and going out and about/trips into central London/park/coffee/pub/primark! Happy to elaborate more via PM.

[canela]

my friend has had au pairs for years and they work really well for her. she has really clear guidelines, which she says are what helps:

au pair and everyone know when her/ his "on-duty" hours are, i.e. when my friend gets home from work she makes sure kids know the au pair is off duty and not on hand for playing, bathing etc

nice own room, and supplies several box sets of TV series for entertainment and help with english

uses an au-pair website to contact, and then Skype to call

pays going-rate for her area - which is outside London

au-pair eats with them in evening as a family

clear dates from the beginning, i.e. they expect au-pair to go home for Christmas, and I think the contract is always 11 months so the au-pair has a month or few weeks at end of time in england to go travelling around - and they get some non au-pair family time in school holidays - when they take annual leave

she's been doing it for years. says obviously you just click more with some than others, but in general good.

stresses they do need a lot of support at the beginning until they find their friendship group, and as their language progresses.

[Saffron]

canela Wrote:

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> nice own room, and supplies several box sets of TV

> series for entertainment and help with english

>

That's a clever idea!

Tbh, I've been worried that I would hear a lot of difficult experiences, but all I've heard so far has been really positive. xx

[simonethebeaver]

We're thinking about an au pair once our eldest starts school. But our 'spare' room is not enormous. It would fit a single bed, clothes storage, and a TV, but not much more. We'd be very happy to share the rest of the house, we have two bathrooms and three reception rooms, so there would be personal space if s/he needed it, but would the bedroom be a deal breaker do you think?

[Mellors]

We have had an au pair for the last year (our first) and have a new one starting in September. I'd say there are plusses (flexible childcare on hand, additional help around the house, learning about a new culture) and minuses (sharing your house).

A lot depends on how relaxed you are about things generally, the type of person you recruit, having realistic expectations and how well set up you are.

I don't think the bedroom is a deal breaker if you have enough other space in the house, but you need to be clear in your advert. I prefer to recruit people who are already in the country so I can do a face to face interview at our house and show them their room etc so there are no misunderstandings. At the very least I would send pictures of both your home and family and discuss in lots of detail your routine, what you expect them to do etc (I have a handbook I send and print out).

Personally with three kids, and both of us working full time (although me over four days), an active social life and and no family around its been essential.

Please feel free to PM me (or FB me if you know me in "real life") for more info :)

[katgod]

Neither of mine have asked any questions about their bedrooms or asked to see it. The era of wifi and Skype means ours rarely spend time downstairs with me - when off duty they are either out or upstairs emailing/chatting. Worst experiences: feeling so guilty and embarrassed when her phone was snatched out of her hand by a street robber, and water pouring out of radiator which she tried to 'bleed' as she was cold. Explaining that DIY is our job and not hers and a heater and an extra blanket solved that. All positive here but a friend has had au pair drive into another car and drive off without leaving a note, and then not tell my friend - she found out via the other driver, small town, witnesses knew the car etc, and has also been called by the school as children at school with no knickers on!

We are pretty laid back- they are not here to be skivvies, the only other person I know who had a bad experience did IMHO treat hers like a skivvy micro managing and expecting way too much housework.