Need signposting/help for help with elderly East Dulwich parent ...

[Tinleeds]

Hello - I'm winging this note down from deepest Yorkshire, in order to find the best services to help my elderly parent living in ED. Firstly, despite, many requests, cajoling, encouraging and everything but dragging her up in the car to Yorkshire my Mother has flat refused to move Northwards.

With her increasing ill health, confusion and some depression I'm at wits end how to help her from a distance - I know many others are in the same boat trying to support elderly relatives in this modern world.

I am googling like crazy, but would value anyone else's experience of SUCCESSFULLY working with Social and/or Mental Health Services in East Dulwich. I have a stack of calls to make in the coming days, however I am trying to avoid a queue of red tape and find the right people to speak with in the right place to help my Mother.

Not looking for any freebies here, just a signpost to the best places to help, whether that's with the Borough Council Services or voluntary sector.

Any ideas or experience please ...?

[siousxiesue]

AgeUK have a good reputation-did some volunteering for them

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/lewishamandsouthwark/our-services/

Also-Dulwich Helpline-very active around here

http://dhscc.org/

[Blah Blah]

Try contacting Southwark's Adult Social Care team as a starting point, as they will make an assessment and feed into available local services for you.

http://www.southwark.gov.uk/info/200407/my_support_choices/2370/contact_adult_social_care_southwark

You could also try speaking with her doctor too, who would be able to refer her to local agencies for support. There is a local Community Mental Health team on Lordship Lane, to whom her doctor could make a referral.

[Penguin68]

One thing you need to do, if it hasn't already happened, is to get her 'confusion' properly diagnosed - there are numbers of causes for this, and not just the dreaded Alzheimer's or vascular dementia, some (such as infections, poor diet, dehydration etc.) are eminently treatable. If she does have long-term neural deficiencies these can be ameliorated (somewhat) and she should be being 'treated' by psychiatric services to ensure that she is in the best possible condition. Many times people cope better when in their own (well known) homes - so if she wants to stay down south her quality of life may still be better than living closer to you somewhere she doesn't know, and without any of the people she knows. If she is neurally confused she may lose memory triggers by moving which would otherwise help her cope much better.

Unfortunately, whilst I live in ED I had to cope with similar problems to yours with my mother in another town (Midlands, not up North) so although I can say that the people in Kings here (who initially diagnosed her when she was staying with me) were very good at diagnosis, I cannot comment on local treatment or support. She did return to her own home, with support, and her last years (until the last months) seemed to provide her with reasonable life quality.

[Tinleeds]

Blah blah - thank you. Yes, they are on my list of calls for tomorrow.

Have a great afternoon - Tinleeds

[intexasatthe moment]

Kings have a very good ( though I'm afraid it can be a bit " luck of the draw with which Dr you're seen by ") holistic department Betty Alexander/Older Persons Assesment and the GP should be able to refer .They can review any ailments and drugs .https://www.kch.nhs.uk/service/a-z/clinical-gerontology

Once she's been asessed by Social Services they should come up with a care package - the budget can be paid direct to you/mother so that you can employ someone if you prefer this ( there can be more continuity with a carer you employ )

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Information-guides/AgeUKIG26_personal_budgets_inf.pdf?dtrk=true

Does she receive an Attendance Allowance ? This is backdated to date of application so best to do early rather than late .It's not means tested .http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/claiming-benefits/attendance-allowance/what-is-attendance-allowance/

Good luck - let us know how you get on . It can be a very tortuos process .

[James Barber]

We also have the very helpful Dulwich Helpline for non medical support www.dhscc.org