Have you ever cancelled a family holiday because of work?

[Ole]

We have to make a choice. If I stamped my feet I'd probably get away with it, but it is a fantastic opportunity and don't want to jeopardise it. The thought of this holiday has kept our spirits up through a difficult year so what I really want to do is throw an epic tantrum, but we are trying to be grown up about it and book something fabulous for later in the year. Anybody have a similar story or am I being mean for putting work first?

[Mrs TP]

What have your family said about this?

[Ole]

Hubby is sad but supportive, son is unaware yet, the rest are saying 'if that's what you've got to do, then that's what you've got to do'.

[redjam]

Sorry I'm a bit confused. Are you cross that your work is making you cancel the holiday (i.e. wanting to 'throw an epic tantrum') or do you really want to stay behind and do the work ('it is a fantastic opportunity and I don't want to jeopardise it')?

Either way, is there any way the rest of the family could still go on holiday and you stay behind or join them later? Will you get your money back if you did have to cancel the whole thing now?

I've never done this myself, incidentally, though I've certainly taken a bit of work on holiday with me on occasions. But family holidays are pretty sacrosanct in my book.

[Ole]

redjam, I am confused about my feelings, one minute I am happy about the new job the next mournful that I am having to sacrifice the holiday for it. I can't blame employer they are not making me do anything; it is a job offer so I could take it or leave it but opportunities like these don't come often. For various reasons start date is not negotiable. I am just frustrated by timing that's all.

[redjam]

Ah, I see, hadn't realised it was a new job offer. Sounds like you should take it - as you say, you might not get another opportunity - but could the family go without you anyway (could you even just join them out there for the weekend)? Not ideal, obviously, poor you...

[oimissus]

I really don't think you can give up on a new job because of one holiday, however much you've been looking forward to it (understandably, of course). Is there any reason why the others can't go on the holiday? In a year's time you probably won't regret not having this holiday, you could easily regret not taking this opportunuity. What reason would you give to your potential employer for turning down their offer?

[Ole]

Oimissus, yes this is what we think too. I just need to hear it to make the guilt feeling go away. Thanks to everybody who have replied and pm'd, there will be lots of other holidays, I guess I just needed the reassurance that it is OK.

[Saffron]

Could you take a short break (long weekender) in place of your big holiday, or something else special instead?

Then take a big holiday later in the year? That way you might not feel so much like you're missing out on lovely family time?