question about child maintenance

[hellosailor]

I have applied for an appointment with a family mediation firm but in the mean time wondered if anyone could tell me the answer to this?

My partner left last year. We weren't married tho we had lived together for years. Our eldest child (aged 4) has just started reception and our youngest child (aged 2) has 2 days a week in a nanny share.

if the child maintenance he is legally required to pay is around ?400 a month, yet he works full time and I work 2 days a week (so nanny share needed 2 days a week for youngest and after school pick ups by a childminder needed twice a week for my eldest) is it the case that he doesn't have to pay for any of the childcare? That it's supposed to be included in the general maintenance equation?

I've been told different things by different people?any light you can shed forum?

[monniemae]

I don't know, but I do know that if the children spend any nights with him the amount he is expected to pay is reduced correspondingly. So two nights a week and he pays 5/7ths of the ?400

[monniemae]

I did look into it for a friend and it seemed her husband wasn't required to pay for childcare. In the event he's paid nothing apart from a one off payment in 18months and even if he had, the childcare for three kids was prohibitive so she couldn't work. Depressing and unhelpful I'm afraid.. Good luck though. It's great progress even to be getting to mediation. x

[Saffron]

Doesn't it depend which scheme you're under? There are some legal experts in the lounge who don't post much in the Family Room. Maybe worth posting in the lounge as well. xx

[hellosailor]

Thanks all and good idea Saffron xx

[laurastar]

The amount of childcare and cost (to you) is irrelevant. He is legally required to pay maintenance at the government rate. (As is surely correct - because the cost of raising children are not limited to the expense of their childcare...)

However the amount of maintenance he needs to pay will be proportionately reduced according to the number of nights the children spend at his. The amount will also be reduced if he goes on to have any further children, and even if (although this is controversial, i think it is still the case) he starts living with a new partner who has children...

Do get legal advice on your position. Best of luck with sorting everything out!

[hellosailor]

Thank you everyone.

My research so far tells me that..

If I work I get ?64 a day before tax. I will now need to pay ?85 a day childcare, so if I work and my ex doesn't have to contribute anything to childcare, I will lose 20 quid a day by working, while he pays no childcare costs.

This means me not working at all to look after our children or paying the entire childcare amount even tho it means I'm losing money simply in order to facilitate him earning 60k a year. The alternative to me working for a loss is to have benefits.

*Note to self* - if I get up to the pearly gates and reincarnation exists, come back as a man.

[midivydale]

Hellosailor, Just sending a virtual hug of support and solidarity.will send you a pm

[Cheryl_M]

My niece is going through the same thing and the solicitor has told her he only has to pay ?400 per month including everything. He chose to live 300 miles away with his new girlfriend but my niece has to pay half of his travelling costs! He says its too far to see his son at his own home and have to leave his pregnant girlfriend alone. Obviously a male judge decided that one! Good luck and big hug hellosailor x

[simonethebeaver]

Sympathies. The mediation people will hopefully be able to tell you whether this is remotely a runner, but you could apply to the court for spousal maintenance. These orders are not very common any more but they can be ordered to run for a defined period for a defined matter, ie additional funds to support you in establishing the career that you, presumably, have had to put on the back burners when you had your children.

[hellosailor]

Thank you everyone, will look into that Simonethebeaver.

Cheryl_M that is a totally grim situation, your poor niece. Her ex partner will also be able to reduce his maintenance payments to her for their children when his new child is born as he's spreading his finances between more children..I learnt that today too

[Pickle]

This thread has really opened my eyes, what an unfair system :(

Hope you get the advice and help you need to make things work, Hellosailor. Seems so wrong that it would make more financial sense for you to stop work and claim benefits!

I assume you've looked into tax credits etc?

[simonethebeaver]

Yes, have a look on here: http://entitledto.co.uk

If you qualify for certain benefits you may get free childcare hours for your two year old.

[wilko]

I think I've already mentioned this in our PMs Hellosailor, but I just wanted to clarify the point simonethebeaver raised in case it applies to others. Spousal maintenance is only an option if you were married.

The law is unequal in the way it treats married and unmarried couples on separation and it can be incredibly unfair to the parent left with the children.

The child maintenance website is www.cmoptions.org and this will help people with issues like reductions in child maintenance for overnight contact and ex-partners going on to have more children, both of which significantly affect the maintenance calculation.

I am sending you support and strength and crossing everything that you find a way forward in mediation.

[wilko]

In case it helps, here is a summary of the help available with childcare costs:

http://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/working-parents

xx

[esme]

simonethebeaver Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Yes, have a look on here: http://entitledto.co.uk

>

> If you qualify for certain benefits you may get

> free childcare hours for your two year old.

Definitely look into the free Childcare for 2 yr old and also claim Childcare vouchers for after school care x