randombloke

Tattoes don't look good on birds. What might they have, maybe a snake around a pair of tits? Just a thought. I'll fetch me coat.

What ho' cheps. I say, I've just been told about the very latest must-have gadget. Apparently there is a device known as a Thermos flask. Whoever invented it must be a jolly clever blighter. Supposedly you fill it with a cooling libation to combat this damned heat and it keeps it suitably chilled until such time as you pour it into a glass and imbibe it, even the ice cubes remain. But here's the thing fellows: If you are about the country estate doing a spot of huntin' or fishin' later in the year and the Ghillie suggests a wee drop o' warming broth, you can use the self-same gizmo to keep the delicious potage warm and steaming. What I want to know is how the very devil does it know which is which? Fella who came up with the idea clearly must have an enormous amount of the old grey matter. He might be a frightful cove over dinner of course what with all that intellect, but dash it all, he should be congratulated on the very notion. I'm reliably informed that one can obtain these fantastical items in various colours and finishes including a splendid metal style which as we all know is terribly chichi at the moment, and, here's the good part for the huntin' scenario; a very fetching tartan motif. What say you we try to obtain some of these miraculous devices?

MrBen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Gorrilaz 10pm - Lou Reed is supposed to be joining > them... Indeed they were and indeed he was, and demonstrated that he is the only man alive who can make Bob Dylan sound tuneful. As for his guitar playing....well he had a capo on to get him in the right key. Perhaps a little knowledge of the right notes might have been more important. Mind you, Damon, in spite of being a genius was pretty out of tune too as was Bobby Womack. Mick Jones and Paul Simenon dressed up as Sailors would surely make Joe Strummer turn in his grave. Quite interesting seeing what I think was The Fall's Mark E Smith reading the lyrics off a piece of paper. Snoop Dog was by far the most entertaining guest.

HonaloochieB Wrote: > > Oh dash it all to blazes CIAHTB, if I may address > you so informally. > > Hang it! I intend to stand in front of the > fireplace, haul up my slacks and talk to you like > a Dutch uncle. > By Jingo, you'll lsten too, ya young rip. > > Are you not familiar with the phrase 'Faint heart > never won fair maid'? It was spoken by some brainy > nib or other, whose name escapes me for the > nonce. > > You must haunt the 185 until you spot your > enamourata, then find a way of getting the seat > next to her (these are details, your initiative > will pay dividends here). > As she is preparing to get leave the bus, take > careful note of the page number of the book she is > reading. > As she places the bookmark and closes the tome, > quickly snatch it from its place, waggle it in > front of her and say 'I know your page, what say > we discuss this further over a cocktail'? > She may gasp at your boldness, but will at the > same time be drawn by it. > De-bus, and offer her your arm, you may wish to > place the bookmark behind your ear, but I leave > that to you entirely. > > To the nearest bar and the ordering of a brace of > Gibsons should be the work of but moments. > > From here on, COAHTB you are on your own, busk > it. > Though phrases such as 'I yearn for you', 'I have > a long felt want' and 'Crikey, when you tilt your > head that way, you don't half look like Keren out > of Bananarama' may do you some good. > > Anyway, bon chance. Genius, sheer Genius P.G.W would be proud.

Sat in his car seat at the age of about 2 and 1/2, with me in the back, his mum driving and my mother sat in the front seat my son noted that we'd just been cut up by another car. He piped up, "Is he a w@nker too mummy, like the man you shouted at yesterday?" Having lived all his life in Wakefield, West Yorkshire at the age of 4 he tried to converse with an American child at Disneyland Florida. Said child was wearing a baseball cap and dungarees, was chronically obese scoffing a huge burger and the offspring of what can only be described as God fearin' southern folk who believed in truth justice and the American way as administered by large hand guns. Several attempts to engage with the child failed. To which he loudly announced "Dad, this kid is stupid as well as fat and ugly." Tha' can allus tell a Yorkshireman, but tha' cannot tell 'im much.

Louisa Wrote: > > As much as I find public transport a disgusting > method of getting about, it has it's place, and > the more people to use it, the better it is for > people like me who like to drive. Cyclists on the > other hand are just a bloody nuisance, getting in > the way causing accidents and slowing down > traffic, oh and they dont pay road tax either! As > for motorcyclists.. well that gets me onto a > completely different topic. They tend to be > arrogant and selfish, and more likely to raise two > fingers to anyone who slows them down. This method > of unsafe road use should be discouraged as it is > a damn right nuisance to law abiding car users > such as myself! I think they should either be > banned, or there should be a huge hike in prices > for motorcycles on road tax. > > Louisa. Hmmm. I was under the impression the thread started as a statement about whether unreliable public transport and commuting was the norm. Suggesting using a motorcycle as an alternative has raised the predictable bikers v cars v pedestrians v cyclists nonsense. As a motorcyclist, by dint of the fact that we can go faster than pedal cyclists and are less protected than car drivers we have to be more aware of what is going on around us. As a result we GENERALLY have more roadcraft, are more anticipatory and therefore less likely to cause accidents than other road users. Not all of us granted, I despair at seeing bikers on 180 mph sports bikes riding round in flip flops and shorts. But I also despair at the number of cyclists with iPods in cycling with one hand whilst talking into mobile phones. I also despair at seeing idiotic drivers ignoring red lights and going across junctions when they should be stopped. Peckham Rye/East Dulwich Rd is a prime example. In a car if I have green light going along the Rye I'd barely consider what's coming on East Dulwich Rd or Nunhead Lane. On the bike I always look because I assume that some idiot in an uninsured blinged up Nova, an harassed parent with kids misbehaving in the back, a taxi or a sales rep in a company car will come racing through a red light. So Louisa, please don't say that bikers are unsafe road users or damn right (sic) nuisances. That's a sweeping generalisation and not based on any evidence whatsoever. I have become more aware in the last 4 months of riding a motorcycle than as a driver with 25 years experience.

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 'Sadly' it's a no brainer? > SADLY? > > It's a great way to get around and people like > Louisa are to be ignored. > Motorcycle it, and then when you get to work > you've already had a motorcycle ride that day. > And no more passing round colds and flu on public > transport! "Sadly" because we have such a rubbish transport system. Not "sadly" that I have to ride a motorbike which is great fun.

Louisa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh no please dont encourage more motorbikes or > cyclists onto the road, they really do make me > very bloody angry! Keep to the trains people, they > will improve (6) > > Louisa. Having commuted for a number of years and having recently become a convert to riding a 125 motorcycle I can say without fear of contradiction that the 'bike beats public transport hands down every time. As an example: in the month prior to purchasing the bike I was late 5 times out of 20 when using either the bus or the train. Using the bike I was not late on a single occassion over two months. If the system could be relied on then I'd use it, but the fact is the public transport infrastructure in London is rubbish. Hot, overcrowded, unreliable and overpriced. That can apply to the tube, buses or trains, all of which I have tried over the years. On the bike, even if the traffic is appalling my journey time varied by a maximum of 5 minutes, 30 mins from East Dulwich to Fleet St door to door. On public transport it could vary from about an hour up to 2.5-3 or indeed 6 hours during the snow in December last year. Sadly, it's a no-brainer.

Al Murray is quoted today as saying sorry to Brian May of Queen..he was "Allocated" Led Zep as his favourite band, rather than Queen.. So as usual it's a BBC fit up.

Bass Vocals Philip Lynott Drums Brian Downey Guitars Scot Gorham Brian Robertson Oh hang on a minute....

ruffers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > People saying Asterix when they mean asterisk. I don't know how they have the Gaul...

HonaloochieB Wrote: > > Could've in speech, which comes out as could of is > perfectly fine, though in writing is abysmal. > 'Could have' in speech is w*nkery almost beyond > redemption. > I use the incorrect reflexive pronoun, to people > that I like, in an informal sense, and I'm not a > muppet. > Though there are worse epithets that could be > applied to a person, c@nty-boll*cks, for example. > West Indian backslang? > Nap'aw? Ah the joy that is an Internet forum... Could of when written is an abomination. Could've when spoken is pretty much standard practice. Lol @ c@nty boll*cks..."I've sent it to c@nty boll*cks"...sheer genius. Of courfe the Englifh language is a movable feaft....thou art correct.

* Could of instead of could have. * Using incorrect reflexive pronouns, as in "I'll send it to yourself." I'll send it to YOU, you muppet. Beloved of Estate Agents and Pimps, I mean Recruitment Consultants. * Apostrophe abuse. * Seen or been instead of seeing or being. * Labels stuck on the bottom of shoes. * Shop assistants who manage to serve you without either speaking to you or looking at you. * Anyone who isn't West Indian using backslang.

Try visiting a cranial osteopath who might be able to help release the pressure. If you've ever seen just how small the sinuses are then you'd realise that it doesn't take a lot of mucus to block them.

flapjackdavey Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "I stood next to Angus Young once in the loos at > The Rainbow in Finsbury Park , I said "Hello Angus > , would you like one of my tapes , I said" hey go > on what harm can it do ? " ...... we supported > Smokie once ... its a shit business ! " > > he said so this is where the .... big knobs hang out mate? Saw them both pre and post Back in Black. As much as I like Brian Johnson, to my mind they were a better band with Bon Scott. They are still a fabulously tight rock band, the VH1 stuff from 1996 proves just how good with minimal props. The last album (Black Ice) was a bit pedestrian to say the least, too many mid-tempo songs with no out and out rockers like Whole Lotta Rosie or Riff Raff. Still, you can't expect a 55 year old bloke to run around like the lunatic he was back in 1978. Jonners is 63 now and showing his age. He can still sing up a storm but being as it's basically him and Angus providing the visuals they are bound to get knackered on a big tour. Sheesh, even Aerosmith are knackered now with Joe Perry having to have a hip replacement and Tyler b*ggering his leg up by falling off the stage. Bon was awesome back in the day, especially on the Highway to Hell tour. He had this manic leer and looked like he'd just found ?30 in his jeans that he wasn't expecting to be there. There's a great story of him going walkabout during The Rocker when he took the wrong turning and ended up outside the Glasgow Apollo and having to buy a ticket to get back inside! I can certainly remember him running around the Liverpool Empire with Angus on his shoulders with smoke belching out of his satchel. Then Angus duckwalking along the balcony and in the Royal box, miles above the audience with the bouncers trying to get him to come down and the roadies ready to catch him if he fell off... They couldn't do that nowadays.

Renata Hamvas Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I shall raise this issue with the Traffic Group > within Southwark Council. > > Renata What are you planning to raise Renata? The speed of vehicles along Friern Road which will probably result in more Speed Cushions or Humps? Or will you do something about the appalling and dangerous state of many of the roads in and around Dulwich?

Have we all missed the point? It's about "irrational" joy. Therefore, I give you... Schadenfreude

Supermarkets Why is it that the trolley you put your pound in is always one with a broken wheel? Why is there NEVER any of the ?10 meal deals in M&S anywhere at ANY time? Asda trolleys on the Old Kent Road that lock if you park in an Asda parking space on the other side of the road and the b@st@rd wheels lock so you end up having to take all the bags out and carry them to your car. Sainsburys at Dog Kennel Hill, if you go into Starbucks why do you end up holding the door open for 50 people coming out with trolleys? I want a coffee not to be a Commissionaire, if I did I'd wear a uniform. And why do only 50% of them say thank you? Waiting in the queue at the check out to purchase something and someone with a purse waits until they are told how much it is going to cost. Then they take what seems like ten minutes beggaring about with receipts, lottery tickets, keys and other flotsam and jetsam before they find some change. Then they count out their change to find that they don't have sufficient and go throught the same rigmarole to get some notes. WHY DON'T THEY GET SOME NOTES OUT TO BEGIN WITH? Serving yourself at the self check outs when it bleats "unrecognised item in bagging area", you feel like shouting "I've not put anything in the bagging area you stupid machine". Having to have random items verified for no reason whatsoever. NO I DON'T NEED HELP PACKING thank you. People standing about in front of a shelf/fridge/chiller cabinet. You clearly know what you want and yet they don't so they avoid making eye contact with you even though they know you are there and fail to get out of the way. Why do people in tiny cars take forever to park them? Even then they make a pigs ear of it and end up dinging your door when they get out as they can't get the damn Uno or Toyota IQ in the middle of the bay. Taking children shopping for groceries. Just don't do it. EVER. And DON'T let them run around like it's a bl@sted playground. People on mobiles as they pay the staff. STOP IT. Waiting to until the fishmongers section is really busy to ask if the Tuna is Line caught in a humane, organic, holistic dolphin friendly fashion. I feel better now. Thank you. Until the next grocery shop.

Vick Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Speedbumps don't slow reckless drivers. They do > penalise the majority of careful drivers (I have a > small car and drive slowly but speedbumps have > left my car pulling to the left). They encourage > people into bigger cars and 4X4 s. They also > increase pollution (both noise and carbon dioxide) > with all the accerlerating / breaking. There are > better solutions, as indicated in previous post. I sympathise with Frierntastic about reckless driving. There are some people who think it's ok to do 60 mph in a built up area. However, Speed cushions are not the answer. Speed cushions are dangerous as they damage tyres (I had to replace a nearly new set for a recent MOT with barely any wear on the outside and the inner rims down to the casing). What odds a high speed blow out on a motorway? Overly high speed cushions damage tracking and may cause shock injury to passengers in cars and on buses. They get torn up and crumble on the edges, (there's a couple of beauties on Underhill Rd near St Dunstan's Rd) and further up near Overhill Rd which are SO high they bear the scars of lots of cars bottoming out, broken sump anyone? They cause potholes nearby due to the extra strain on car shock absorbers. These are dangerous to cyclists and bikers. Southwark council seem obsessed by them. They recently re-tarmaced Dunstans Road then put humps back on and it's already getting torn up. Meanwhile HUGE potholes get left unrepaired. Chicanes or the automated signs are MUCH more effective, or even "Shock"..Speed cameras.

That ridiculous packaging you get on any form of computer periferal or DVD that requires a set of garden shears to cut through. Your mobile phone battery dying just when you need an important call to come through. Petrol pumps that just go CLICK and won't dispense petrol even when you have an empty tank. Why can I NEVER FIND A PEN when I need to write something down whilst on the 'phone. When I do find one it doesn't work or the pencil lead snaps or has worn down.

RosieH Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Bathos (kudos on the mushy peas randombloke) > > > Having a new girl crush (Imelda May, *swoon*) Well of course if you were to reductio al absurdum on mushy peas they wouldn't be mushy any more would they?

charliecharlie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > wow Randombloke.. glad to see there are still some > romantics out there... > > xxcc We do exist. But you have to include mushy peas, totally irrational but fun nevertheless.

OK, seriously.... Waking up in your lover's arms. The smell of bacon on a lazy Sunday morning. A piece of music reminding you of something wonderful you had forgotten. The feel of your child's hand clutching yours for safety and reassurance. Ditto your lover's hand. A new set of tyres, an open road and rather a lot of horsepower with which to apply said rubber to said road. Unwrapping a brand new Titleist Pro-V1 on the first tee of an empty golf course so early in the morning that you've not seen another human being. Hitting said Pro V1 out of the screws 290 yard right down the middle and being able to see where it landed and bounced and rolled in the dew on the fairway. Unwrapping a new lover, then that lover becoming a long-term soul mate and still loving to unwrap them. A new set of guitar strings. Singing beautifully on a piece that moves you so much that you cry as you do so. Mushy peas.

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It is possible to take the good out of anything if > it is over analised. He is such a cute boy and he > is just the best dancer ever. Don't you agree? This HAS to be THE FUNNIEST thing I've ever read on the internet since 1997. Absolutely it has caused irrational joy. A small child on video being swung into the crotch of an adult male on stilts. Then he emulates the dance moves of an alleged paedophile which is lauded by Dulwichmum who states: "I adore little boys" then goes on to say you can take the good out of things if you overanalise them. I mean you couldn't make it up could you? If I laugh much more my pants will never dry out. Thank you East Dulwich Forum. Really.... Thank You.

Isn't Aubergine a little like Samuel Johnson's quotation about cucumbers? "A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing? Add to the list tofu. "what is this?", "it's bean curd". "I know what it's been, but Wwhat IS it?"