Victoria C

Hello East Dulwich Forum Members, I have not posted for a long time but I am coming online to say I am still cutting and blow-drying hair in the area. For those of you who are reading this for the first time I have been a hairdresser for since 1990, I trained at Vidal Sassoon and owned ?Top to Toe? salon in Morden from Jan ?01 ? Dec ?04. I am also an artist (painter and photographer) and I am in the second and final year of my masters at the Slade School of Art full time during the week. As a photographer I have photographed weddings, corporate events and sporting events as well taken portraits for people as and when needed. There are examples of my work on my website. Because of my MA I am only doing hair clients at weekends. My hair prices are (2019): Ladies ?35 / Men ?29 / Children (under 16) ?15 / Children (under 10) ?10 - please note I do not do call outs for just one child's haircut. When you call it's very much a case of whether we can organise a time that suits both of us as I am sure you will appreciate that weekends can be as busy for me as they are for you. Making an appointment: Please try to give me as much notice as you can as sometimes I can come at the 'drop of a hat' but at other times the calendar is quite busy and I might be only able to offer you an appointment for the following week. I used to promote myself in the NCT magazine. There may be members of the forum who remember me coming to their home to do their hair in the 1990s! I have many clients with babies - its one of the many reasons that people choose a home hairdresser. I always allow an hour and a half just in case there are interruptions in the haircut so that we are under no pressure. Finally I always make a policy to mention to new clients that I am transsexual woman. I transitioned in 2009 and have reached the point when I "look" perfectly acceptable however I make a point of being open about my past. I hope you are OK with that. I am happy to cut your hair at your earliest convenience. My practice is that you do not wash your hair before I see you and I bring all equipment and styling products with me. All you need is shampoo and conditioner. p.s. If you do look at my website, I happen to be an artist and my website reflects that rather than hairdressing. Victoria Cantons M: 07956 591 944 Based in Wandsworth Town, SW18 email: [email protected] facebook: Victoria Cantons web: www.victoriacantons.com

Hello Everyone, Im really just posting to remind you that I am both active and available should you wish to have me come to your home to do your hair and thank you to all of you ho continue to call me for your haircut or find me for the first time here. Pleaser scroll to the top of the thread to see my details and prices - they were revised as of the beginning of the year. Thank you, Victoria

Hello Everyone, Im really just posting to remind you that I am both active and available should you wish to have me come to your home to do your hair. Pleaser scroll to the top of the thread to see my details and prices. Thank you, Victoria

Hello All, I should have posted sooner but I've been busy recovering back to full-on mode :-) Thank you for all the messages wishing me well. I am cutting hair again up until the 22 December for whoever wants to see me before Christmas or New Year. Message me here on EDF or send me a text/call me. Thank you very much.

Thank you for reading and your kind comments. That is the most complete single document history I have written out. I suppose I was hoping writing it all out would unlock something for me. I know I struggle with being labeled a 'trans woman'. I don't feel that I am but at the same time I keep on opening up to the general public as one... at work... through the radio interview. It's as if I'm trying to offer an excuse for myself to whoever I'm face-to-face with and yet at the same time I also don't feel ashamed of what I am. I'm just not proud of it - I only understand up to a point the concept of "trans pride" or even "gay pride" for that matter. If anything I suppose I feel most like a 'woman with a mixed gender history' (because my social gender history really is unavoidable - I can't pretend it doesn't exist) but really even more than that I just feel that I'm a woman going about her business and that's what I'd prefer to be. I'm glad, having typed it out that I've got it as a history even if there are still holes that I didn't include. I'm not sure how things like, my at times hellish relationship with my father, shaped all of this? There are debates that still rage over nature verses nurture. In terms of unlocking something, I did realise today that I spent years living with fear and shame of being aware that I was different. It was that shame and fear that stopped me being completely hones with Emma when we met. I only gave her a half truth and then as soon as she said I was ok and she wasn't going to reject me, I tried to hold onto that love and I found I painted myself into a corner. Funny, writing this account and sharing it, I feel as if I've put a big weight down on the ground. And hopefully I won't feel like I have to pick it up again.

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As soon as I get to my laptop I'll give you a proper reply.

silverfox Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't see why you consider my answer to the OP's question spiteful Jeremy. I simply gave my opinion - an opinion held, I suspect, by the majority of people in this country. > > The OP is happy to broadcast to the world his/her current condition - "...I uncovered the truth of myself, that I was indeed transsexual..." and as he/she states "... Not many marriages survive such..." changes. > > I happen to think such a profound change to the dynamic of a marriage places an insurmountable strain on the majority of such relationships. ************************ Furthermore Silverfox, regards your last comment, it's "she" if you don't mind. I'm an officially recognised intersex female. Google it if you don't know what it means. I was incorrectly labeled male at birth because the doctor simply didn't realise at the time what I was and so my family raised me as male and I was led to believe that I was a male. To cut a long story short I was eventually recognised as the female I actually am and treatment began to correct my physical anomalies. Admittedly you are right, the marriage that Emma and I have forms part of a tiny minority but we survived what happened to me and us. As for the majority of people sharing your opinion... if there is a majority, I would hope it is a small one. Victoria

Hello, Sorry for not posting earlier but I have had the flu for the last few days and any energy I did have was used up by the discussions I participated in with Trans Media Watch which keeps an eye on all transgender/intersex mentions in UK media (obviously, hence the name!) Silverfox, That was a very interesting article which is further lived up by the fact that it would appear to be a very public argument between Ms Christine Benvenuto (of the Guardian article) and her ex, Ms Joy Ladin who wrote her on book about her transition last spring and it had exposure in the Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/transgender-woman_n_1311562.html I also uncovered a 'full excerpt' of Ms Christine Benvenuto's book here: http://us.macmillan.com/BookCustomPage_New.aspx?isbn=9780312649500 When you compare the two sides what you see is that one person was a (trans) woman who ought to have been more open before marriage but probably had lots of issues as I did and then there's the wife who shows no sign of ever accepting that her partner was or is a (trans) woman. Christine Benvenuto seems to remain convinced that her ex is a "mentally unstable" man. Anyway, my point is that there is no reason that that couple should have stayed together. There's no obligation for a couple to stay together if one of them has a problem and they can't face it together. Emma and I were, I suppose, very lucky that our marriage survived. Emma was able to handle what happened to me and I was able to handle Emma's behaviour towards me until we got to a point where we worked again as a couple.

Thank you all so much for your comments. In the light of which I hope maybe you caught the interview online if not on the radio. We did have an amazing response through twitter and Facebook to the radio interview which was wonderful. I know we are a very rare couple - I participate in a number support groups and over the last few years have only met a handful of couples like us, literally. Most trans people who are married at the point of transition end up experiencing their partner requesting an end to the relationship. One can hardly criticise... it's a very, very difficult and challenging situation. Nonetheless, another benefit of the radio interview is that a publisher contacted Emma Cantons to offer to publish her book - an autobiography and a portrait of our relationship titled If You Really Loved Me. It's available on digital formats and print through Amazon and Waterstones and if you look at the Amazon Kindle version then you have a taster of the opening pages to see how she writes. I admit I'm shamelessly plugging but I'm very proud of our relationship and Emma's achievement. Thank you Victoria Cantons

Hello, I feel I am taking advantage of this opportunity but I wanted to share that Emma, my 'wife' (partner, if you prefer) and I, were interviewed on BBC Radio 4: Saturday Live on 15/09/2012. The podcasts and BBC iPlayer are still listing it at the moment. The issue that we agreed to discuss was the fact that Emma and I married in 2005 but a few years after, I uncovered the truth of myself, that I was indeed transsexual. Not many marriages survive such a calamity but we did. In spite of the fact that I'm a part of the interview I think Emma spoke very eloquently about the downs and ups of our marriage. Just wanted to put this out there! Thank you.

Dear All, I'd like to add a new thank you once again for all the great contacts made through this thread. What can I say? It's just great to do your hair! However... (regular clients will know) I am heading in to hospital this Sunday for an operation I've been waiting for for a while - at last my time has come. I will be recovering for about 6 to 8 weeks and so will not be available to do home visits until about the last week of November. I will keep this thread active so that as soon as I'm up and running again then everyone will know.

Thank you srisky for the recommendation. I do only do cutting and blow drying as I have found over the years colouring especially foil work in the home is, I think, just too complicated though I do know other hairdressers will do it. If you would like my work the prices are: Monday to Friday day/evening Ladies ?25 / Men ?19 / Children (under 16) ?10 Weekend Ladies ?35 / Men ?29 / Children (under 16) ?19 Making an appointment: Please try to give me as much notice as you can as sometimes I can come at the 'drop of a hat' but at other times the calendar is quite busy and I might be only able to offer you an appointment for the following week. I also happen to occasionally promote myself in the NCT magazine. There may be members of the forum who remember me coming to their home to do their hair in the 1990s! I have many clients with babies - its one of the many reasons that people choose a home hairdresser. I always allow an hour and a half just in case there are interruptions in the haircut so that we are under no pressure. If you are OK with all the above then I would be happy to cut your hair at your earliest convenience. My practice is that you do not wash your hair before I see you and I bring all equipment and styling products with me. All you need is shampoo and conditioner. Thank you very much. Victoria Tel: 07956 591944

Hello all, Thank you for all your direct emails, private messages and texts. And for the kind comments left on this thread :-) It's been a fun month making lots of new friends and reconnecting with some older ones - a few clients who I haven't seen for a while but you contacted me again... You know who you are, thank you. So, transforming you all, creating new looks for you ... just contributing to you being the best you you can be. It's been very cool. Thank you. So now we're moving in to August, if you're still about then that makes two of us! I'll be off at the end of September but I will post about that later. I'd love to do your hair so give me a call. Prices and everything else you need to know are in the opening post at the top of this thread. At the moment I'm booking three to five days ahead. Look forward to hearing from you.

Hello All, Since it's July and it's summer time (though I'm not entirely sure where it's summer but somewhere) I thought why not offer everyone a chance to get a haircut for a discount (?!) Contact me during July and mention the East Dulwich Forum Discount and instead of my usual fee the price will be: Monday to Friday day/evening Ladies ?20 / Men ?15 / Children (under 16) ?10 Weekend Ladies ?30 / Men ?25 / Children (under 16) ?15 Thank you.