Saffron

Fuschia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This discussion and our own slight coyness brings > me back to an ongoing sub issue.. Naming female > genitals. While we are chat happily about willies, > most women are more circumspect about girls' bits > > Why is that? What do you call them? We call it what it is: It's a vulva. A friend (who only has a son!) told me this was perverse, to which I replied that it's not perverse. It's anatomical. And, actually, the more you say it, the less weird it sounds. Not calling it what it is only perpetuates the idea that the correct physical words for female genitals are in some way bad, IMHO. That being said, my toddler also knows that we use other words for vulva depending on the context, just as we use other words for "head" or "mouth" depending on context. For example, "bump your noggin" or "milk round the mush". On the subject of Facts of Life, I agree with others that you should answer questions honestly to the level of the child's understanding. I think it's good to bring humour into it sometimes too, and it's also ok to say if you're a bit embarassed to talk about it. IME, children will be more understanding/forgiving of honest explanations even if delivered with a bit of trepidation. We want them to tell us the truth, we should do the same for them. Lead by example. xx

Do you have a shower room? Or try making the bathroom steamy, then a warm bath for your LO, to clear the mucus before bed as much as possible? What time of night is the coughing? Could you give the syrup before bed, then again like a dream feed later in the evening? You might get some longer lasting relief for your LO that way. How bad is the vomitting? If it's copious amounts of milk/food, give dinner a little earlier and only easily digestible foods. Dilute the evening milk feed with water, or give hydration solution instead if your LO will accept it. Or maybe diluted squash. This would be easier to digest than milk, so it moves out of the stomach into the lower intestine sooner (=less to vomit up later). And/or plan for the worst: double make the cotbed. Place a water proof sheet down first, then a plain sheet. Then repeat with a waterproof sheet and plain sheet over this. So when the first set of sheets gets vomitted on in the middle of the night, just whip them off and place your LO on the clean one, no need to remake the bed at 3AM. xx

We had a little vapour fan, from Karvol I think. This helped at night, very soothing, but it really ate batteries. You can also try elevating the head end of the cot a couple of cm. This aids fluid dynamics in the lungs at night, prevents excessive pooling of mucus leading to irritation and cough. Just recently I've also tried Kleenex menthol balsam tissues. I put one under my daughter's cheek when she was napping. It worked well. Maybe one tissue on each side at night?

What have you tried so far?

Hi Barley- would you be thinking to offer day nursery provisions for eg 9-5 care for under 4 yo, or would it be as a stay & play arrangemen with parents?

Plenty of BLW babies use cutlery from an early age. And also, plenty of babies (BLW or traditional weanlings) who do use cutlery are still messy, and some babies who eat with their finger are super dainty and not at all messy. There are so many variations! Personally I wouldn't worry about table manners at all for the under 1s. In the early stages of weaning it's just about experience and discovery. Older toddlers and children will learn as you teach them, but will also be influenced by their own personalities. Good luck with your weaning. You seem very conscientious. I'm sure your LO will turn out with lovely manners. xx

I add a little plain yogurt to cooked rice to help Little Saff eat it. It sounds messy, but it actually works well to help the rice clump.

Yes, we did help Little Saff with her food on occasion. It doesn't "ruin" your BLW, imho. Also you can make some types of slippery food easier to hold by coating them in bread crumbs or baby rice. With foods like firm pair and apple that can be slippery and hard to chew, I used a peeler to shave off long strips. These were easier for Little Saff to hold. She'd gum the end of strip until all the juice was gone, then spit out the pulp. Happy Weaning! xx

You don't need to introduce new foods or materials in order to manifest allergic symtoms. Indeed you don't produce an allergic response until 2nd (or later) exposure to the offending substance. So the substance can easily be something in the common environment at home or elsewhere. I think the reason "new" foods/materials are frequently associated with allergies are twofold. (1) Common causes of allergy are obvious and so are quickly eliminated from our environments when we discover them! However, they can crop back up in "disguise" in other products. (2) You can be exposed to an allergen as one ingredient in a list, for example a preservative in soap. You might never use that type of soap again. However, when you buy a "new" shampoo, if it contains the same preservative, you are then re-exposed to the allergen. So, you appear to produce an allergy to a "new" product, when in fact you have been previously exposed. I have heard that pollens and molds are high and widespread this year. We've certainly been battling itchy noses around here, which we never normally do. Good luck getting some symptomatic relief. I hope you can discover what's causing the allergy. If you give antihistamines before going to the park or putting your LO to bed, does it help to prevent the allergic response?

Not so much new info for me personally but classes were invaluable for Hubbie, who basically knew nothing about pregnancy or childbirth. We did the intensive class with Becky in E Dulwich. She was brilliant, very interactive. The NCT antenatal classes don't give much info about b/fing though. So you might want to do a b/fing course. I think there are some free ones at the Hospital? If you have a complicated recovery (which can sometimes happen even with a straightforward birth!), you might find it difficult to get out to meet people immediately afterwards. If you've been to antenatal groups, then you have at least an opportunity to meet a few people in advance of the birth. However, if you're on a tight budget, your money might be better spent on a postnatal doula. A good reason to check out the free classes, but whatever you do, don't leave it too late or you won't have much choice of time/venue. xx

We had Yoomi bottles, and I thought they were super. Didn't have any issues with them but were only doing 1-2 feeds of EBM/wk. Later we switched to Breastflow bottles when we were doing more feeds. I think KatDew is probably right about some babies being more difficult than others. It's definitely worth trying a few different bottle types but don't spend loads of money. Put an add in the Family Classifieds on the Forum. There are usually people willing to give away/swap old bottles in good condition. xx

My 2.5 yr old also likes to use her fingers! She could use a spoon from around 1 yo, but always put it aside in favour of fingers.

Haha, I read this too, and I was going to post it! :) I think the birth buddies idea is super, if it's what women want. Like anything, it fits where it touches. Personally, I wanted to hear about all different kinds of birth experiences, not just the straightforward ones. I certainly wasn't upset by hearing stories of difficult births, and I think if I had only heard about easy births then I would have had unrealistic expectations. But then again, I was never afraid of the birth to begin. Maybe it's different for women who feel very nervous about it from the outset? I canvassed all my girl friends and their girl friends when I was pregnant (in addition to NCT antenatal classes). It was very interesting and useful to hear all their stories and how they coped. For me I don't think a birth buddy would have been a good idea, b/c I would have always found myself comparing my situation to a single person. However, if it does help other people, then I'm for it. What I really found lacking was postpartum care, eg in the 1st 6wks. Drs and HVs at Forest Hill Road practice made some serious errors of judgement that ended up with me having a medically complicated and very unhappy postpartum time, despite an uncomplicated birth. Btw, if anyone had a traumatic birth, there is an excellent Healing Arts Team locally, of which my good friend Hannah Ferry (an art therapist) is a member. This team works with people having issues of all different types. However, Hannah has expressed an interest in forming a team that would specialize in pregnancy and postpartum issues. I can look up the info if anyone is interested. xx

Thanks, parkview, that's a useful link.

Do you or anyone you know have children at the RIMU nusery in Greenwich? http://www.rimu.co.uk/nursery.htm Anyone been to an open day there? Forumites, I'd love to know your opinions! xx

I'd also like to know about Cherry Tree, and other Montessori schools in the area! :)

Yes, from memory, 484 bus runs from Brockley Cross to Telegraph Hill, then Friendly Gardens, past Ivydale and pops out at the northeast corner of Peckham Rye common.

Hi- We live in Brockley, which is the neighbourhood directly to the east/southeast of Nunhead. We also don't have a car. Husband took Little Saff to swim in the ED pool once. He pronounced it "bloody freezing" and has never suggested it again... although I've heard the water might be better now? Depending on where you are in Nunhead, you might be relatively close to Wavelengths Pools in Deptford. It's about a 20min walk from ours, but sadly no direct bus grrr. However, the new pool in Forest Hill is opening next month. You should be able to get a bus down Brockley Road to Forest Hill. We'll definitely be looking into it! Little Saff loves to swim. Maybe see you there? :)

The "30oz of milk" is just the guideline for the upper limit of milk-based intake. Depending on what source you read, it's sometimes quoted as 20-40oz per day. I agree with Pickle that the "30oz" would be including other dairy sources as well, like milk on cereal, or cheese on pasta, yogurt etc. Compared to other types of milk, the calcium in breastmilk is very highly bioavailable. So even if Baby is only having a few short feeds, he could still be getting a significant amount of calcium. Once Baby is eating lots of solids, you can start to think about other sources of calcium and nutrients. If Baby at 9 months is already eating a lot of different solids, then milk intake wouldn't be such an issue. Incidentally, I haven't found HVs really knowledgeable about diet and nutritional issues, so do take their advice as just a guideline. It's not set in stone. Afterall, they're not trained to be dietitians. Little Saff never outright refused my left breast, but I did notice that I lost the letdown reflex on this breast much sooner. The ducts are still active, the milk just comes out in a trickle instead of a full letdown. This was always the less dominant breast although curiously it hasn't affected the overall size now that I don't get engorged anymore. If your letdown reflex is slower on one breast, is that the breast that Baby is refusing?

When my daughter was just over a year old, she was on the brink of climbing out of the cotbed. We sold it and bought a small double fouton for her room. Now I sleep next to her most nights, and she sleeps much better (and so do I). My only real problem with this arrangement is other people's negative perception of it. Controlled crying is definitely not the route for me. Anything that involves crying at night has always ended up having massive knock-on effects on Little Saff's daytime behaviour. Indeed cc/cio techniques would not be recommended for children with nighttime separation anxiety. I'd personally be very annoyed if a paed or other healthcare worker suggested it! Even when Dr Christopher Green first put cc to the test, he made it very clear that this was a technique of last resort, so it should never IMO be suggested as a solution until other avenues have failed. I've been talking a lot to Little Saff about becoming a big girl and getting a big girl bed. We might buy her a lovely single bed and new blankets, then try some of the behavioural fade work again. Just to debunk some myths, here are things that did not make her sleep better: -Formula in the evening -Stopping b/fing at night -Putting her in her own room

It sounds like a virus. Avoid the oral/gastro route if it could be upper digestive related. Ask for paracetamol suppositories. Hope you get some rest soon. xx

jennyh Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi > > We have a 16 month old who is an ok eater but > doesn't eat a lot and has always been a bit > difficult, lets just say not a natural eater. She > often throws wobblies, there are lots of things > she wont eat etc, nothing new there I am sure. > The issue I am having is that I fell into a trap > of using lots of distraction methods to get her to > eat when she was weaning as I (wrongly in my > opinion) worried too much about quantities etc. > Given my time again I would do things a little > differently... Really, really, don't rethink the past too much! In hindsight we often find ourselves saying we would have done things differently, but the truth I suspect is that you were doing damn fine job in a difficult situation! > but my current dilemma is that I worry > she doesn't engage with her food and mealtimes and > want her to learn abuot her foods as she is at a > very inquisitive age. > > She sits at the table and I usually sit with her > although rarely eat myself other than a few bites > here and there to encourage her. She has always > had toys to play with, drawing, tv on (lots of > demands for 'choo choos' every mealtime and food > has been secondary to the other activities around > her. She will often take cutlery and play with > the food, try and feed herself etc and she will > feed herself fruit/pasta/finger foods etc using > her hands but she gets bored after a couple of > minutes and then wants to do something else Hey, a couple of minutes is brilliant. :) Sometimes food issues are more about perspective than about the actual food. One thing I've noticed about the parents of fussy eaters vs non-fussy eaters, is that the parents of non-fussy eaters often aren't phased even when their little ones do have a fuss. So on the whole, some of the non-fussy children I know can be fairly picky and fickle about food, but their parents just don't let it get to them. Easier said than done, I know! Personally, we've had some days where Little Saff would only eat pate on toast, and other days where she'd only eat olives and oranges. > and > either I am lucky and she opens her mouth to me > feeding her or she clamps shut and refuses to eat > anything and gets frustrated. As suggested by a very enlightened friend of mine... try giving her the spoon to feed you sometimes. Then take turns feeding each other. It's novel for her, and it helps you gain an understanding of her world. > Then after the meal > she often makes demands for snacks and breadsticks > etc so I know she didnt eat enough. Ah well, nevermind. I have the distinct impression that lots of children do this. As long as the snacks you're offering after meals are of decent quality it really doesn't matter. 16 months is still very young. There's plenty of time to grow into a 3 course meal with soup spoons and linen napkins. I dispair of ever teaching any table manners around here. Seems Hubbie is always starting w/o me, then jumping up to watch football before I've finished. So of course Little Saff thinks she can jump down anytime too. Husband's manners at his mum's house are great. However, I caught him at our home table telling off our 2.5 yr old to use her spoon instead of her hands... all this while Hubbie's elbows were both on the table and his mouth full. Sob. For what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job. xx

What about a doidy cup? Some babies never take a bottle, and go straight to a cup. xx

Which bottles have you tried? Check out Yoomi or Breastflow bottles. They're not cheap, but you might put an add up in the Family Classifieds to see if anyone has some in good condition that you could trial. xx

Fuschia posted this link a while ago about tantrums:http://m.npr.org/story/143062378?url=/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams . It made a lot of sense to me. From this thread: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,854520,854745#msg-854745