Ladygooner

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The older is nine and the younger is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..... Do you really think they look alike, you d*ckhead?" "Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe anyone would sh*g you twice!"

oops sorry Android 17!

Looks like you had a great time! When and where are the nuptials?

Keef - you can always retaliate!

So by my reckoning Annasfield and East Dulwich Angst got 1 each right. Well done to the Scots, commiserations to the Irish and bloody marvellous to the welsh!

David Mellor writing in the Evening Standard today has an interesting view point on the prawn sandwich brigade. He says that "without those debenture holders the stadium would not have been built so we should be a teeny bit grateful to them."

Annasfield - now I am jealous! How easy was it to get tickets?

Here we go then Brum v Bolton 3-0 Chelski v Blackburn 2-2 Everton v Manure 1-1 Pompey v Liverpool 2-1 Sunderland v Reading 0-2 Sperz v Arsenal 1-2 Hammers v Boro 2-2 Wigan v Fulham 0-2 Man City v Villa 2-1 Derby v Newcastle 0-3

Bump! Don't forget to update your teams for the games this weekend

I always use M&S with no commission - think its only from stores in central london though

Love your thinking Android!

Aww go on - you know you want to! I'm hoping for 2-1

This message especially for Jah Lush - any prediction for the match on Saturday at 1.30?

5 for boys and 18 for girls mockney piers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How old is 14 in metric years?

Which area do you live in?

downsouth Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just watched atonement. It was a very good film > but the last fifteen minutes... gosh. I know - hope you had your handkerchief with you!

England v Russia 1-0 Scotland v France 2-2 Iceland v Northern Ireland 1-2 Slovakia v Wales 1-1 Czech Republic v Rep of Ireland 2-1

Went to the Ritzy Cinema last night to see Atonement (very good) to find a red carpet rolled out. I asked who was expected and was told Quentin Trantino was giving a talk! Did anyone go to it? Also, Helen Lederer was in watching Atonement - does she live locally?

Gosh Domitianus you are brave asking that question on here - braver than me - been wanting to ask it for ages but frightened I might be hunted down and run over by hundreds of bugabooson Lordship Lane! Well done you!

Scotland v Lithuania 2-1 England v Israel 0-1 Latvia v Northern Ireland 1-1 Slovakia v Republic of Ireland 1-2 Wales v Germany 2-2 but actually I haven't a clue!

Tickets to his funeral - only a tenner!

Tillie - he died last night at home - pancreatic cancer.

Blimey Sean - had to look up "flaneurs"!

Pleased to report Jubilee Line seems to be running well although very overcrowded..........

Some of us have to get the tube from London Bridge to work