ellahgh

http://www.bitoffun.com/forums/funny-jokes-f26/adam-and-eve-noi A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other. Dixie

there has never been 9/11 jokes so i thought i will get the party started http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?s=21311 Did you hear the one about American Airlines new deal? They?ll fly you straight from the airport to the office. Knock knock! Who's there? Knock knock!! Knock knock who? Knock knock knocked all your towers down! What is the New York City Fire Department's favorite song? "It's Raining Men" What's Al Qaida's favorite football team? The New York Jets What does WTC stand for? What Trade Centre? What's 9 divided by 11 divided by 01? A good investment in real estate. (A temporary dip in the price of downtown real estate, followed by an almost 100% increase over the next five years.) What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones' head when he was working on the World Trade Center's 90th floor? The 91st floor. What's the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers? Their ankles. How many Americans died in 9/11? Who gives a fuk? What's the biggest difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombing? Foreigners once again prove they can do it better and more efficiently. When does a pentagon have four sides? When it intersects a plane. Have you heard about the decision about the memorial at the WTC site? The city decided to go with an open park and the worlds largest franchise of the "International House of Pancakes!" How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows since they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot! How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up? The rest of your life! What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Two large planes! Well, 9/11 sure proves one thing... New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch! LOLTWINTOWERS