macker

I challenge anyone to explain to me in what way one can make a generalisation about any difference in the two major trolls posted by jrussel. I think everyone knows perfectly well what I mean.

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> "Free Bowels"? Are you sure? I could do with some

> new ones, mine aren't as reliable as they once

> were.

You're full of crap.

Did anyone here ever get Conlin the cactus-flap fitter to install a cactus-flap properly?

Ant Wrote:

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> If you're woken by it the number to call (24

> hours) is 020 7525 5777.

Aha, good to have that number for reporting that annoying early Saturday morning bin-lorry!!!

Ant Wrote:

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> I have two questions.

> B) How many individual words are in War and Peace?

> (As in, counting 'the' only once no matter how

> many times it may be repeated.)

In the 12th edition (English translation) available here: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2600 the answer is 17,468 unique "words", where a word is defined thus: a string of alphabetic characters separated by white space, numerals or punctuation, and case is not significant. The first words are:

a

aah

ab

aback

abacus

abandon

abandoned

abandoning

abandonment

and the last are:

zis

znaim

znamenka

zone

zoology

zu

zubov

zubova

zubovski

zum

zweck

Hope this helps :)

macroban Wrote:

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> Don't worry, Monica, it's only the snooty folk in

> Dovercourt Road who like to pretend they live in

> SE21.

Hey, I represent that remark.

P.S. My voucher narrowly escaped the recycling. You wouldn't believe the amount of junk Dovercourt houses have shoved through the letterbox.

SteveT Wrote:

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> ...the only way it

> seems is to sell up, and get an abode without a

> garden.

Or try these guys: http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/1380/pave.html

So in summary so far:

bare floorboards -> you're hosed

carpets -> you're hosed

clothes -> you're hosed

victorian housing stock -> you're hosed

mothballs -> your clothes all smell, and btw you're still hosed

Anyone got anything cheery to add? I never saw my moths before this year and I don't remember inviting them in on second hand clothes or laying down carpets or leaving dirty linen (literally) around.

Incidentally I don't think the food eating moths (mealy moths) are the same as the clothes ones.

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone else in ED has new moth companions in their houses. These are the little clothes-eating ones. I knew we had a problem when child asked to be taken to see the family moth collection! If anyone else has or had them, how did you get them to move on (preferably at least to Camberwell or perhaps even further afield)?

mmm, rum

macroban Wrote:

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> So c80% of the population are registered

> electors?

>

> Has someone been eating the children?

They were making too much racket in the pubs.

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> ...could those of you living in West East Dulwich keep your eyes peeled please?

"West East Dulwich" -- how very dare you?

It's south North Dulwich, as any ful knows.

You could try cross-posting on the westdulwichforum...

mattindulwich18 Wrote:

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> ...withoout ... a mother breastfeeding her baby.

Oooooooh, 'e's 'avin' a go at the birds now.

lozzyloz Wrote:

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> Hi my name is Cactus Jack

> I run the company MrCactusFlapFitter.co.uk...

I think perhaps Michael Palaeologus has got confused between this company and the albeit similarly-named one MrFlatCatpusFitter.co.uk, whose owner is also mysteriously called Cactus.

So please all, make sure you're complaining about the correct company!

Pickle Wrote:

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> Perhaps you should move to somewhere like

> Canary Wharf, you won't see many kids there.

Au contraire, it's pram*-city every weekend. Which is fine, but I'd not want Mr MattInDulwich18 to move there and be disappointed.

* not to mention cacti, cats and leaves. hmm, could be a book-title...

Moos Wrote:

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> HB, could you please advise whether we are still

> allowed to use the words 'dummy', 'scummy',

> 'slummy', 'scrummy' and 'yummy'?

>

> Many thanks

> Moos

>

> P.S. Also please confirm status of 'crummy'

Not to mention 'mummy'

Brendan Wrote:

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> Yes comade.

It's like that interminable play about the new PM: Waiting for Godon

Marmora Man Wrote:

> Britain had a good working education system in the

> 60's: it needed some minor improvements but it was

> ruined by political ideology - and some of the

> rhetoric on this thread smacks of the same

> ideology. Nationalising education isn't the way to

> go - greater freedom is the future.

Hear hear.

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Text books in state schools?? Surely you mean

> scrappy bits of photocopied pages.

Scrappy bits of photocopied pages? Luxury! We had to make do with reading chicken droppings left in the schools's hen-house, both ways! (sucks teeth)

david_carnell Wrote:

> I'll ignore the thinly veiled personal jibe.

No jibe intended! That bit was meant to be tongue in cheek.

The Telepgraph are going overboard on Dulwich Mum's, this one is also there:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2008/05/03/fahappy03.xml

Odd that all these appear in the "education" section. Perhaps it's the Telegraph's version of the class struggle.

david_carnell Wrote:

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> But the fact that fee-paying schools still attract

> a tax-free charitable status does stick in the

> throat rather.

Perhaps they'd give up the tax status in return for education money following the child, whichever school he/she happens to be in. Of course that might cause some of the state (some LEAs perhaps) to wither away.

(Ducks and waits for the howls)

> Of course, I offer no answers. :(

Did that every stop a revolutionary?

citizenED Wrote:

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> The people

> who need to be sent to the best public schools are

> the educationally challenged from the sink

> estates. Society should say to these children, OK

> so you got dealt a bum hand in life, crappy

> homelife, living on a shitty estate, terrible

> social problems, so here you go laddie, we'll give

> you a decent education.

We could call it, oh, I don't know ... the "assisted places scheme", perhaps.

> How can we track the crime rate within 1/2 mile of

> Home Secretary-ville to see what happens?

We can't now, as we don't have data from pre-Smith. We can track if it increases outside the magic circle though. case in point:

Just under 1 mile away from Ground Jacqui (ED in other words). Awoke this morning to smashing windows to discover a couple of enterprising youths had broken in to neighbour's to steal a laptop. Impressively, the cops were there in 5 minutes, guess it's just a short drive from Ivydale.

Can it be right that these cabinet members move in and displace these crims from their hard-fought stomping grounds of Nunhead?

From East Dulwich's council forms page:

https://securesite.southwark.gov.uk/DeptForms.asp?dept=5

"This form is to get some understanding as to what the 11 to 19 year olds want from there libraries."

I was thinking they (the mysterious "the") might want some grammar from "there" council, but perhaps they just want CD racks where the literature used to be.

If one clicks through, one discovers that one can also "loan DVDs and CDs". I went and tried to lend some to people but they chased me out, saying it was a place for people to borrow stuff. Go figure.

Enough grumping now, thanks.