dulwichmum

McAuley Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This is a buyout. > > Thanks, > > Anna Seriously, that is a shockingly poor payment. I paid about ?500 per actor for a performance and buyout about 6 years ago - for internal, company use. This is for a TV commercial for a phone company?

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So Dulwichmum, are you leaving for pastures new ? No sweetie, we are upsizing, dans the village. We shall have totally new and dramatically larger bells and whistles!

Oh sweetie! You are totally hilarious. No, in the end we found Court Lane Gardens rather claustrophobic - it is actually a simple terrace and there is no privacy for the essentials of modern family living. It was becoming so unfair on the poppets. Max is far too tall now for his teeny loft bedroom suite with games room/cinema, wet room, music room, laundry shoot, extensive collection of authentic rugby memorabilia and nanny accommodation - he is getting quite tall, and when he comes home from Winchester at half term, we have no privacy at all (dabs tear from eye). Where was the space for the simple things? Clearly we require an acre for an organic veg plot, a coop for hens, the odd wind turbine? Not to mention a walk in shoe closet for the two guest suites... or a private spot to accommodate a hot tub? An outdoor arena and loose boxes (dabs tear from eye) for Freya's pony were totally out of the question. Genuinely now, there wasnt anywhere for me to practice my Pilates outdoors, out of sight if the neighbours. The lack of privacy became such a grind. We bought a country house but it simply wasn't Dulwich out there. In the end, it was actually the children that were suffering the most. So with heavy hearts, we have been buying up homes in College Gardens for the last 18 months, with the intention of eventually razing that development to the ground and building a super little Huf Hauslet! It's only a hop and a skip from Gail's! 13,000 square metres of German engineered, sustainable, organic, Eco luxury - acres of glass and a roof choc full of solar panels, a permanent yurt (for the poppets), an outdoor wood burning pizza oven (hand built by Jamie Oliver himself) a gas BBQ, spa (that is a ground level hot tub sweetie), a 20 metre swimming pool, an artificial ski slope and snow machine, a cable car and zip wire - outdoor entertaining is very now! Obviously we will have an underground garage for a dozen vehicles, a heliport and a panic room the size of Peter Jones in Sloane Square. Gosh but it is all taking an age. It's incredibly stressful you know. I am struggling to eat. Some of the pesky owners in the development don't want to sell up! James has arranged for the construction of an Olympic sized pigeon loft in he back garden of one of our new properties, another he has let out to some drum playing, marijuana smoking arts students and he is having noisy cellar excavations next to the remaining malingerers. With all of the noise, pigeon poo and dust, within a matter of months the remaining owners should sell up and college Gardens will be mine, all mine! Er... I mean "ours", clearly! Onwards and upwards...

No sweetie. I am upsizing, substantially. Clearly!

Thank you Dulwich Fox. Yes, that is my Teddy. We wove him very much indeed!

I would just like to point out that we just sold our house through KFH in Dulwich Village and I could not recommend them more highly. They were totally on the ball, courteous, professional, nothing was too much trouble and they did not overvalue our house. The whole team were amazing. We have put our house on the market twice in the past with other local estate agents and had complete nightmare experiences. On one occasion, with another estate agent, I returned home from work and found a couple had been given a key to our house and told to let themselves in and look around as they had bought a similar house on our street and were looking for design ideas! On another occasion, another estate agent didn't tell us that our chain had fallen apart and the packers were just arriving at our house. The chain had broken for over a week at this stage. I only found out as I met the woman who had agreed to buy our house in the street. Trudy, Anthony and Andrea in the Village were amazing. I couldn't recommend them more highly.

OHMYGOD! *faints*

Thank you red devil sweetie, that doglet is like a son to me. Right now, he is refusing to have his fringe trimmed. I can't do a think with his hair!

I have the dog, but we are very private people and shy of publicity. He is sailing on those dates sweeties.

Red Devil sweetie, I noticed that some of those nudist cyclists were on BORIS BIKES! OHMYGOD! There is a great big line of those putrid bikes outside my office building! I shall have the aupair use Cillit Bang on the saddles. God only knows what sort of vile infection hazard they now pose. I have been vomiting for the last hour. Does anyone have Boris' mobile phone number? I deleted and blocked him from my mobile phone after the incident with the false tan watermark he left on my hot tub. He is beyond vain!

For sport, we should have stocks constructed on Goose Green along with various other contraptions for dishing out random punishments around Dulwich. Sir Bradley (don't remind me Muley, it is mortifying that this clown has a title) would be first on my list for the rotten tomatoes, straight after he has a thorough dunking on the ducking stool. Intimate waxing and cycling shorts with a built in bum cushion? Give me strength. What happened to good old bicycle clips - that is all the kit he should need. He should wear a normal shaped helmet, great billowing shorts and cycle a conventional bicycle. Talk about The Emperor's New Clothes! He is a cyclist for Gods sake, you would imagine from his toggs that he was about to pilot a space rocket. From the way that man dresses to cycle a bike, God only knows how he would adorn himself to drive a damn bus (laughs socks off).

I have only been able to keep down dry toast since the Tour de Newcastle. Why would grown men dress like that? Bradley Wiggins should be arrested, or hospitalised. He is clearly in possession of a massive herniation, or a growth, or he has trapped a young cockapoo down the front of his Lycra... My eyes are still bleeding. What has happened to terrestrial TV? I would love a little Ray Winstone, a smattering of Sean Bean. These occasional news bulletins with Huw Edwards, they are simply not enough. I am already bored by the stock of Jigsaw in the village, there are far too many eateries dans the village. What is a girl to do in Dulwich? You are so right Louisa, I would NEVER walk my own damn dogs. I see it as my duty to keep this economy moving and provide employment for others whenever possible. I don't even do my own shop on Ocado sweetie!

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > That's a cameo! What is a cameo sweetie? Is that an explanation for the abomination that is Bradley Wiggins in Lycra? I swear that man has trapped a cockapoo pup in the front if his shorts and he is just laughing at the world as we are all to afraid to mention the fact that he is clearly deformed... (Holds hanky over mouth and tries not to vomit)

Louisa darling, I may have to download an audiobook on Mindfulness or a meditation chant, seek counselling or order illegal Zanax online. I swear, I think it was watching John Jazz Hands Barrowman in the opening ceremony that pushed me over the edge. If I have to endure much more of this you will find me blow drying my own hair or doing my own damp dusting. I am seeing Tunnock's tea cakes in my damn sleep! (Blubs)

When will this sports hell ever end (shrieks)? I almost died of boredom during the damn Olympics, then we had the Paralympics yawn fest, next we had the World Cup snoozeathon and now The Commonwealth Games from hell - my eyes are bleeding? Give me strength (shakes fist at sky)...