katmando

thanks very much for your understanding messages his friends are the ones he's drinking with - but obv they don't have kids... his dad drinks to excess too and i dread visiting them as he drinks even more when we do and we always end up arguing. you really hit the nail onthe head when you said its turning me into an anxious stress-head. it really is. i often text him asking him how long he's going to be out. partly to find out that but also to try and wake him up if i think he's fallen asleep onthe bus or lost his phone. i say really nasty stuff to him too and threaten him etc - never used to do that. He says sorry but it doesn't mean anything anymore. i'm someone that could very easily become an alcoholic. i think if i was a housewife i'd be one by now. but i control it and i drink far less than i did in my 20s and since i had my son i hardly drink at all. i'm also prone to getting depressed and booze makes me worse. blimey - this is all sounding very depressing. Apart from these incidents we get on very well and are happy. it's just these really heavy nights i can't handle. edit to say: other weird reactionary behaviour i have is that i will drink if he opens a bottle *just* to reduce his intake. I will also try and get him to go to bed ealrier - or with me - *just* to try and stop him drinking... so i'm trying to control him which is exhausting and unhealthy

my dh and i have an good relationship overall. however, i think he drinks too much and it's getting me down. we have a 1yr old son and thinking of trying for a second but i'm not sure i want to unless i think he can control his intake of alcohol more i don't mind him going out etc, but when he goes out he comes back rip-roaring drunk. He often loses his phone, falls asleep on buses, gets his wallet nicked etc etc a few weeks ago he came back from the Bishop with a girl's phone number written on his hand and soaking wet trousers from where he'd wet himself - or missed whilst peeing. he said the phone number was nothing - just some fellow football fan... and that he fell over while trying to go to the loo or something. anyway - i get more an more mad each time he comes back like this and i'm beginning to think i cna't have another baby with someone who drinks to that excess. last night was another one. he woke me up outside at 3am, no keys or jacket... i was so angry and didn't sleep for 2 hours. today we were meant to have a fun day as a family (it's my only day off in 2 weeks) and he's slept in all morning to get over his heavy night. and now we've argued so my day's turned into me crying.. again. does anyone else have to deal with this sort of thing? if it was a one off i genuinely wouldn't bat an eyelid and i did get really drunk at my work xmas party last year but he does it about 1x every 1-2 weeks and he drinks daily at home. he is also on anti-depressants (for OCD) and you're not even meant to mix drink and anti-depressants. what makes me sick is my father is an alcoholic and i vowed i would never end up with one. also my son is just going to end up being like his dad and it's this cycle that gives me stress headaches and makes me cry. maybe i'm being completley over the top - am i? he's 40 years old this year. i want him to get help but he just says how he drinks is 'normal' 'everyone does it' etc etc but this is exactly what my dad was like and exactly what he used to say. edit for spelling and to say he easily polishes off a bottle of wine a night and probably drinks about 40 units a week ish