Jo'sEnglish

Yes Saila, I totally agree with that point of Saffron's too. I think that is the problem I have, ie. Oh, she had a traumatic birth so we'll just say she can have a c-section next time so she won't be scared of birth. The same as after my birth I felt it was very much, oh you had forceps an a nasty tear? That's why you are upset.(whereas, no, as bad as that was it was the traumatic experience I had around this with the doctor that I was traumatised by). Too often I felt like it was assumed you should feel/want a certain thing without anyone actually bothering to listen to you. Otta, totally agree about not being enough staff too. One of the reason I was told I didn't get the care I should have got was that it was a Sunday. For god's sake, I'm sure just as many babies are born on a Sunday so surely there should be the same amount of staff!?

Apologies if this is a long post! Also, I gave birth at Lewisham, not at Kings like most people on here. Saffron, I saw a woman's health counsellor maybe 3-4months after giving birth. I could have seen her sooner but no one told me about her until my lovely women's health physio advised me to call her. Once I called her I had an appointment in maybe 2 weeks. I'm sure the reason it was quick to get an appointment was that they don't seem to make her existence widely available! I saw her for a few months and she has advised me if I were to even start thinking about trying for another baby I should go back and see her and she will basically work on my behalf to make sure I have access to senior midwives, consultants, etc to make sure I'm ok for the next birth. Which is amazing :) midivydale, I sympathise with your post so much. I have to say at 9 months after the birth it was still fairly raw for me to. Now, 14 months on, well, if I think about it I still cry but I think about it less so I think it fades. I feel it will always be there as a terrible memory. I mostly feel sad about it all. The day my son was born should have been the happiest day of my life but I feel a bit robbed of that due to the experience I had. I'm glad you had counselling. One thing that really struck accord with me was my women's health physio, when telling me I should see a counsellor, saying that it would be terrible if my decision to have another baby or not was based on fear rather than what was right for our family. Anyway, I hope you can reach a stage where you can make that decision from the right place. I had a birth experience that really did traumatise me but through all the subsequent meetings with the counsellor, senior midwives, consultant, etc I have been reassured that I can have a c-section next time if I wish or if I am nervous about the birth. The problem is this is the last thing I want!!! I hated the lack of control last time and I feel a c-section would be worse. I hate anything 'medical', which is why I wanted to give birth in a birth centre. Despite things not going to plan in the birth centre things didn't get really bad until I was transferred to the labour ward and the thought of going through that again terrifies me. What I want is to have the experience I tried to have last time but I've been told I won't be able to go back to the birth centre because I won't be low risk anymore. I'd like to insist on a home birth but I'm not sure that is realistic or possible so I don't know what I'll do. But any mention of my fears and I just feel like I'm trying to be persuaded a c-section would be best. I'd like another baby in the not too distance future but the giving birth issue is still tricky for me. I think it is great if women do need a c-section due to fear of giving birth are offered them but it's not the only answer :-(

I don't shop in the Body Shop since it was bought by L'oreal. The body shop might products might not be tested on animals, but other l'oreal products are. This is a priority for me when buying these types of products. Have bought Lush gift boxes as a gift in the past but agree about the smell! It's overpriced and always seems a bit 'teenage'. Had a quick look at the website, looks more like l'occataine type stuff? Couldn't find anything about animal testing so that would rule their products out for me!

I think 6 weeks is for kittens? I know my adult cat I just adopted from Celia Hammond they said 3-4weeks. I think though, in my experience, you know when they seem settled and to have accepted a new home and then it is ok to let them out, I think they just err on the side of caution in the guidelines and some cats will need that long.

I have just adopted a cat from CH (to keep my exsisting cat company) and also have a 14 month old. I didn't want to get a kitten, partly because I was worried about it driving my cat mad but also because I they can be scratchy when they play. An older cat should have already learned to retract it's claws when playing, etc. It might be worth thinking about an older cat or cats? They are harder to rehome and you might find some that have been used to children already. Also, worth buying one of those toys on a stick (feather stick) etc so your daughter can play with them without getting to close and risking claws. My new CH cat is lovely, the friendliest cat in the world! My son LOVES her (and my other cat) but she is still getting used to him. Shs will come and rub around him and let him pat and stroke her if I'm holding him but if he is running around she stays out the way. Cats are very good at finding a safe haven if they don't want to be bothered so just make sure there is somewhere for them to hide and you'll be fine. Unlike some other rescues CH seem to be quite encouraging of homing cats with small children, they will be able to give you lots of advice. Good luck, I know they are over run with cats at the moment so you would be doing a good deed!

My Mum told me the other day she over heard a toddler in the supermarket asking her Mum if she could have an apple and the Mum replied, "No you can't have an apple. I'll get you some sweets later". My Mum said she did kind of turn around and look at her in shock, she couldn't help herself! You can try not to judge, and often there are things that we don't see on the surface, but sometimes it is easier said than done in all honesty!

Hmmm... best laid plans and all that! I would keep an open mind to it all. I know a Mum who was determined to bottle feed as was freaked out by the idea of breast feeding but once baby came along and she was put to the breast it just seemed to click for her and she breast fed exclusively for months. And obviously there are many stories of Mum's who really wanted to breast feed but for whatever reason it didn't work out. It sounds like you have a very set idea in your head, and it may work out like this but in many things with babies (everything??!) it might not go how you think. So with that in mind I say, take the formula but go with an open mind to what might happen!

Gently Elephant in Brockley have lovely shoes, and great service (and a wigwam which my son loves!) I'm sure they would have something suitable.

Just to echo the general feeling, we do Aquatots which is also at Lewisham Hospital. Perfectly clean and lovely and warm, although I agree it can get a little cramped. We've known it to be closed once when there was an 'accident', but that was another swim school and nothing to do with the hospital using it. It was also closed for a couple of weeks when the boiler was broken but other than that has been great. My mum was also a bit funny about it being a hospital pool but actually I think they would need to make sure it is hygenic because of that and probably gets checked more thoroughly than other pools (I like to think anyway!)

There is the wheat and gluten free bakery in Brixton Village too, though I don't know if they do cakes to order. Their cakes are delicious though, and many are dairy free too. http://wagfreefood.com/ ETA link

ladywotlunches Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "gotten" - that's surely not proper english? :) > It is if you are American, then it is perfect! Like a lot of so-called 'Americanisms' it is actually an old English form that has gone out of use here.

Just as an aside for anyone interested in the topic, there is a fabulous book by the equally fabulous linguist David Crystal called 'Listen to your child' (rubbish title!) which is all about how children develop language right from birth up to early school years. It's a little out of date (stuff about recording your child on a tape recorder) but still very relevant and an easy read for non-linguists too. I'd recommend it highly.

Totally agree with the sentiment about accents. And gilland joe, I think in general it's a great post. However, I disagree with this: gillandjoe Wrote: > I seriously doubt that a teacher (who, by the way, > only did one postgrad year to become a primary > school teacher with an undergraduate degree in ANY > subject - not necessarily an expert in English > grammar!!) who made one mistake marking one piece > work in one pupil's book for one subject warrants > the outrage in this thread. I guess none of you > make mistakes, grammatical or otherwise?! Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think anyone with a basic level of education (let alone a University education, in any subject) should know that 'would of' is wrong, no? I also (and speaking as a teacher) feel it s very different making a grammatical or other mistake (which I do all the time!!) and correcting something which is right to make it wrong (which suggests that they don't know it's wrong). As a parent I would have been really annoyed at that! I think there is an interesting point here about the difference between spoken and written language. In spoken language there are plenty of things that are said that aren't technically correct, due to regional speech or otherwise. But generally when written we expect language to follow the 'set' grammatical rules more closely. But, these rules do change over time, although more slowly than in speech. Language is always evolving, I suppose it is a question of wider society deciding where to be flexible and where not to be.

I've used reusables full time since birth on my son. I started out by using muslins so I didn't have to worry about fit as I could fold them to fit while I worked out what shape he was going to be and what would work for us. It was also fab at first as they dried super quick. Now I have a combination of different ones for different purposes. The laundry really just becomes second nature and not too much of a problem. You can get microfibre ones which dry very quickly too if you are worried about having nappiesdrying all over the place (with twins you will get through a lot!) I would recommend www.thenappylady.co.uk for great advice, she has a questionnaire to fill in and will help point you in the right direction. Also, I think having a partner that is on board with it is really helpful in the early days. My husband was a whizz at folding a terry square and sorting out all the nappy washing in the early days! Oh, and I just got these ones from little lambs which are lovely and super fast drying and currently on special offer for only at 6 for ?24 which is a bargain if you fancied starting a stash! http://www.littlelambnappies.com/special-offers/6-osfa-nappies-for-24

Ugh, yes! The same as you, I think it is ridiculous that it seems to be such a problem when you think it would be fairly common these days. I work freelance so even though I use my maiden name professionally I have to put in big letters the name (my married name) to make cheques payable to on invoices (and even then sometimes the payee gets it wrong, or just get confused about me using more than 1 name) I tried and failed to get the bank to accept both names for cheques, I gave up as too much hassle. That's interesting about the marriage certificate and driving licence though etta166. I'll look into that...

Agreed, I think they will proabably send you to a woman's health physio first. I had a difficult instrumental birth and a bad third degree tear and lots of problems after my son but after seeing the women's health physio at Lewisham (who is amazing), as well as various consultants and specialists, things are ok! I also do a lot of Pilates which I think really helps, so keep that up. And you are definitely not a freak! It's just not something that comes up in conversation, is it?

Tots bots easyfits come in poppers or velcro these days. They are very slim, but don't come up particularly long I believe if your little one is tall. They are made in the UK which is why I go them as opposed to bumgenius (for example). Might be worth filling in the questionnare on the nappylady.co.uk to see what she suggests?

Have you read the Baby-led weaning book? Even if you don't want to go down that route it is quite reassuring I think. It really doesn't matter if they aren't eating at this stage I don't think, they are still getting all their nutrition from food. I would just sit her with you while you eat so she sees you eating and keep offering her food and eventually it will click, I'm sure it will! Just don't go to too much effort to make her stuff that she rejects as that will get frustrating, just offer her a bit of whatever you are having that is soft (avocado, banana, etc). She'll be fine! Good luck :)

I actually got some nice things in dorothy perkins... not very trendy I know but they were cheap and they seemed to have more choice than other places, and some suprisingly nice things.

I haven't used one myself (my baby is still small enough for a travel cot) but have seen these recommended before: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Worlds-Apart-Gruffalo-First-Readybed/dp/B007Y50XYW

Ruth_Baldock Wrote: > > I know freelance and work from home around the > children, which is bloody difficult actually, but > needs must... I've just started working freelance from home too. It's not the kind of work that I can do in odd snatched half hour or so so we had to look at other arrangements (that didn't involve me working all weekend, although I often find myself doing some work then). We looked at our one year old going to nursery for a couple of days a week but when we weighed up the costs (especially as I'm just starting so money is coming in erratically) it was a lot and when we sat down and thought about it and the fact that my husband would like to spend more time with the little one we made the decision for him to go down to working 4 days a week so I can have one solid day of working. Lucklily his work agreed (he's a contractor so that means more flexibility, although less stability!), and it's good because if he is really busy we can swap round the days he works, or he can work 5 days one week, 3 days another and we can fit around each other. I also have a student that I exchange English lessons for babysitting for so get a bit of extra time there. Overall, I wonder why more people don't have father's that take over some of the childcare. Is it because their work is resitant to part-time working, because the dads don't want to or just that the money doesn't stack up this way? We are definitely worse off financially at the moment but very happy with it as a lifestyle choice and I think it is good for both my husband and our baby boy to have regular, quality one-to-one time.

SBot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Most likely a tummy bug, keep off the dairy! Offer > sips of water, with diaorlyte! Plain toast if he > will. It wont go on forever. Best of luck. I always thought toast was good but after my baby's recent tummy bug which ended in a trip to the doctors, she told me it wasn't great as there was too many other things in it so tricky to digest. Was advised really simple carbs like rice, potato, pasta, sweet potato. Yes, and diaorlyte. Would try and get some specific advice though if still happening today.

Or call NHS Direct. My baby had tummy bug a couple of weeks ago and I got to speak to a senior paediatric nurse on NHS Direct who was very helpful. Keep up the fluids and get some advice.

gillandjoe - not sure how old your baby is but maybe you should make a treasure basket http://www.theimaginationtree.com/search/label/Treasure%20Baskets . It's my baby's favourite thing. You just have to make sure they don't get left alone with them. Weirdly, he also loves his soft toys, he likes to wrestle them!

Just to clarify - I don't think all plastic toys are rubbish, far from it. Just that most of the rubbish ones tend to be made of plastic (does that make sense?!?)