BecsBex

"I suppose actually it doesn't matter if it is day or night, I just reminded myself, that twice, both during rush hour in the morning I've been what people would call, sexually attacked. Once on my way to West Dulwich station when I lived there at the time. The second time (which I put a thread about at the time to warn people) was when I moved here, on my way to work again. (Please don't think I was dressed proactively or anything, both times I was going to work in town etc.)." Sorry to deviate from the thread a bit but muffins78, I just wanted to say that it shouldn't make a difference what you were wearing, provocative or not. Your outfit/appearance is never an invitation for harassment or attack. Even if you'd been walking around stark naked, your right to personal safety and a journey free from sexual harassment remains. Sorry to get all preachy but it absolutely kills me that we still live in a world where a rape victim can be asked in court, "what were you wearing?" as if she has somehow condoned/invited the attack or had it coming. Also, don't men find this a bit insulting? The idea that they are controlled by their urges and that the sight of bare legs (for example) will be enough to tip them over the sexual edge? Anyway - my point is, please don't ever feel like you have to justify yourself to anyone by explaining what you were wearing when these incidents occured. It should not (and does not, to all sensible human beings) matter. Rant over. I'm very sorry that happened to you. It's probably my worst nightmare. Thoughts and well wishes to little h and her husband as well, of course. Outrageous.

It was terrible in my garden today - opened the back door and it was like walking into a chemical cloud. I live on Barry Rd and could hear machinery a few gardens away so assumed that's where the smoke was coming from but not sure. Wherever it was coming from, it was horrible. Found its way into the living room too - eek!

Agreed, it's a nighmare down there. Have had the same problem with the reception staff every time I've needed an appointment with a doctor or simply a prescription renewal. Solution is probably to register with a different surgery!

crystalpalaceroad - Oh yes, it's been a massive problem!! http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,774656,page=1 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,1072342,1072532#msg-1072532 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,1039209,1040301#msg-1040301 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,1027822,1028112#msg-1028112 http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,1004995,1017954#msg-1017954 Local police really need to make it a priority to target burglary offenders. I saw the program about burglary in Leeds, such a shame we can't have a department like that here. I assume it's not deemed important enough - that is, important enough to dedicate any money to chasing burglars when there are cuts taking place and more crime to tackle in South London in general. Compared to Leeds. I assume. Sigh.

lilolil, when my dog was a puppy and I had to leave her on her own I fitted her with an Adaptil collar and also had the Adaptil diffuser plugged in near her crate. If your neighbour wants to try this, I would suggest the collar so that her dog can have the benefits whether it's outside or in the house. It releases a sort of faux pheremone that mimicks something bitches produce when they're nursing puppies. Dogs find it very calming and reassuring. I know some people say it has no effect on their dogs but it's been a success at my place and I still use it occasionally even though my dog is almost a grown-up. I know my Mum has success with Adaptil and her dogs during the firework season etc. Worth a try. :)

Thanks for that info. I know the hostel you mean at the top of North Cross. My Mum once made the mistake of knocking on the door as she was looking for last minute accommodation for a friend of hers! She saw the 'East Dulwich Hotel' sign out the front so just assumed it was... well, a hotel. Needless to say, they were not interested in providing a room for the night for her friend! My flat was broken into last summer and since then I've been especially interested in posts regarding burglaries locally. I was in touch with the police and James Barber at the time but there was nothing anyone could do in the end as the culprit/s wore gloves and there were no witnesses or CCTV. Very depressing that Crystal Palace residents and police are both aware of the culprit yet he/his group are still walking the streets. Hooray for justice, eh!

Do you know whether the person described is thought to be linked to the spate of burglaries on Barry Road? It was suggested that the Barry Rd burglaries were all linked to one suspect (or one small group).

Intriguing development... I've been away since yesterday afternoon and just returned home to find that the upstairs neighbour has done a complete slash and burn in her garden, COMPLETELY cleared it. The timing of this could be a ridiculous coincidence... but it's just too weird considering the garden has been untouched for the 2 years that I've been here, until I started this thread. My lease is up February. If anyone knows of a nice landlord who wants to rent out a reasonably priced one-bed garden flat in ED to a Monica-style clean lady with an equally clean cocker spaniel, please do let me know... harrumph.

I would agree with you that I must have done something to piss her off, except she has been absolutely revolting toward me from the MOMENT we met, before I even had a chance to "do" something. She opened the front door as I was coming out of my flat into the shared corridor to go out of the door she'd just come through, so we both entered the corridor at the same time. I'd never met or seen her before so I said something like "Oh, hello! That was good timing" and she kept storming forwards with a suitcase, didn't make eye contact with me or acknowledge me at all, and I had to flatten myself against the corridor wall so as not to be mowed down by her and her luggage. Since then I've been polite up until she started threatening my boyfriend and I. As I type this, The Witch and her partner have just left their flat. Stopped briefly to slag me off outside my door and then left after being shhh-ed by her partner. Delightful!

Gutted.

Girl82 - She claims to be the legal owner and I did purchase some information from the Land Registry office to find out whether this is true. She is listed as the owner on there. If she were a council tenant, would it be her name or council info listed as the owner on the land registry document? I ask because when we were having a dispute over the shared access gate, she was blustering about calling the council to come and do something about it (the broken gate). I don't understand why she'd go to Southwark to have her gate fixed if she were the owner of the flat... Also, she hangs old bed sheets up in place of curtains. My boyfriend is of the opinion that if she had enough money to buy a flat then she'd have enough money for curtains, but I realise this isn't a solid argument in determining whether she is a council tenant or an owner. She might just really like those manky old bed sheets.

uncleglen - Haha! My boyfriend and I ARE singers! No joke. My practice doesn't seem to bother The Beast but we haven't tried testing her with the rumbling operatic bass. HMM! ;)

Thank you everyone for your advice. oimissus and Penguin68 - she is not elderly. I refer to her as a miserable old bitch because she is an adult who behaves like a child and is completely unresponsive to politeness and courtesy. As I said in my original post, I tried for a long time (over a year) to be pleasant to her, smiled and said hello whenever we crossed paths and continued to be polite even after she sent me a ridiculous note threatening me with legal action regarding the shared access gate. I continued to be pleasant when she started coming into my garden for no reason when she knew I was outside doing things/generally enjoying my garden. As I said, she can only access her garden, which is at the rear of mine, by going THROUGH mine. Her garden is completely overgrown and she clearly has no desire to use it but she will pretend to need to do something down there when she knows I'm around. For example, a few months ago my friend and I were having a cup of tea in the garden. The upstairs neighbour made a point of appearing with her partner, stood about 5 feet away from us pointing out weeds and things in their own garden, then declared loudly to him, "YES, we will have to come and use the garden MORE OFTEN." My response was an overly-chirpy, "great!" to which the neighbour then told me to "f*ck off". She is not elderly. I would say she's around 50/60 at a guess. She is able-bodied, I see her marching too and from the flat every day and have also spotted her carrying lots of shopping down the road. I frequently hear her running up and and down the stairs. She has no DESIRE to use her garden, so please don't accuse me of being insensitive and picking on an elderly woman who is too frail to weed her garden. I'm perfectly capable of identifying someone who has physical problems or issues with senility that mean they can't carry their bags or take care of foliage, and I wouldn't be attacking an elderly woman for that because I'm not a heartless so-and-so. I am at the end of my tether with her now, having put up with her behaviour for 2 years. I have given up being polite about her since she started threatening to get a man round to sort me out, and verbally abusing my boyfriend for absolutely no reason. I think that gives me the right to call her a miserable old bitch. And by 'old' I mean OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER AND BEHAVE LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. Sorry that you've decided to take offense and conclude that I'm the problem. Everyone else, thank you again for your advice. I've received some very nice PMs as well which I'll try to reply to today. At this point, yes, it does look like my only option is to move out. As I said, I won't be able to afford a similar property in this area anymore and it makes me really angry to think that a miserable cow gets to drive someone out of their home, even the area. I have no desire to live in another part of London. I moved here from Guildford two years ago and it took me a long time to feel at home here, which I now do. If I have to move out of ED then I will move out of London altogether. Hooray, the horrible neighbour wins.

Sir, yes sir. The word is please. I have removed her name. Thanks for your help.

Hi all, So, I live in a lovely one-bed garden flat. I've been renting here since summer 2011. I live below a woman who can only be described as a miserable old bitch. I'm a very affable person and have done my best to be pleasant with her but from the moment we met (in our shared corridor) she has been nothing but rude. We have had a ridiculous ongoing issue with the shared side gate, which she was convinced I was locking her out of on purpose. In fact, when I moved in the estate agent (HAART) specifically told me that the upstairs flat did not use their garden and that the shared access wasn't an issue. Once the upstairs neighbour had made it clear that I was breaching her 'peaceful right to access' (what?) by locking the gate, I stopped locking the gate. However, the gate and frame are very old and the wood was warping badly which meant the lock kept getting stuck. The neighbour was convinced that I was locking the gate on purpose and kept knocking on my door to shout in my face about it (it is my conclusion that she is incapable of speaking and can only shout). On one occasion my boyfriend, who is generally a very pleasant chap, went outside to explain to her about the warping wood. He got as far as "hello, I -" before she launched into a diatribe of verbal abuse, threatening to call the police and have him arrested if he spoke to her again, accusing him of having a got at her "because [he's] a man", etc etc. She has threatened on several occasions to "get a man round to sort [me] out" and has also threatened my boyfriend with this. I reported this to Southwark Council using the antisocial behaviour form online but, surprise surprise, had no response. I then managed to convince my landlord to have the lock on the gate replaced and repositioned which has solved the problem of the gate sticking, plus I forked out myself to have a key cut for the beast upstairs because HAART would not provide a key for the new lock for the neighbour. Apart from the fact that the woman upstairs is an absolute mentalist, she is also incredibly inconsiderate as a neighbour in general. The flats are not sound-proofed and she is incredibly heavy footed. I never hear her partner moving about but if she's home, I can hear her every step. The light fittings in my living room shake. It's all very 'fee fie foe fum'. She takes a roll-along with her to work every morning and rather than carry the bag down her stairs, she drags the bag down behind her so that it thuds on every step. I usually work night shifts and being woken up first thing in the morning by a giant pulling a suitcase is not one of my favourite things. On the occasions when we've had words, she's made a point of thudding around louder upstairs and throwing heavy things on the floor above me. She puts her washing machine on mid-week, usually a Tuesday and Wednesday, between midnight and 1am. Every week. She thuds about at all hours of the night and it frequently sounds like she's moving furniture around in the small hours of the morning. I'm talking 2/3am. I now sleep with earplugs in because it's the only way I can get some kip but I would prefer not to. Her garden (which she must access by going through mine) is completely overgrown - the weeds are taller than I am and I can see that there is a fox den in there. The garden hasn't been used for YEARS. However, if the neighbour hears me using MY garden (which I do, a lot) she will make a point of coming downstairs and wandering through my garden to peer over her fence and pretend to be checking her weeds. She can't even open the gate to her garden because the thistles have completely blocked the path. My point is that she goes out of her way to try to make me uncomfortable with being in my own space by standing right in the middle of my garden while I'm out there, simply because she can. The neighbour owns her flat and has done for about 20 years. I'm only renting mine. Can anyone advise on whether there's anything I can do about the noise problem, if not about the fact that she is an intimidating, nasty old cow? I've checked with Southwark Council but they can't do anything about the noise. Has anyone any experience with the Environmental Protection Act? I've also tried to record the sound of the spin cycle in the middle of the night but the sound quality was very poor on the recording as I was only using my phone. To be honest, if I could afford to move then I would but I love my little flat and the rental prices have shot up since I moved here. I can barely afford the rent now and one-bed garden flats in ED are currently about ?175 a month more than I'm currently paying. That plus the money required for deposits, moving vans, etc etc means that I just can't afford to move at the moment and if I could, I would have to leave ED or settle for a much smaller flat. The neighbour goes to Jamaica every summer for 2 months. During that time my flat is a really lovely place to be and I start to forget how horrible it is for the rest of the year. She's back now though and the ceilings are shaking again. I've had enough. It's all very unfair because I'm really nice and my neighbour is really NOT. Is there anything I can do? Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks :) (Edited a typo)