*Bob*

Ah yes, Kramer. The Jar Jar Binks of comedy. I'm down with Curb - and virtually everything else that should (by rights) put me in the Seinfeld backslapping club. Oh, apart from Frasier. Which wasn't funny either.

Oh god.. please don't start quoting from Seinfeld. People quoting jubilantly from Seinfeld has put nearly as many people off Seinfeld as, well, the show itself. Realistically, how much of it do you have to force yourself to watch before you can expect some sort of a return?

*wry smile*

When am I supposed to laugh? Or is an occasional wry smile all I should hope for? Please help.

Agree that conspiracy theorists will make hay in the light of no 'absolute' evidence.. but so what. Let 'em. The current conspiracy theory list of Roswell, The moon landings, and Elvis living on Mars etc etc hardly makes theirs a force to be reckoned with. Conspiracy theorists are also less likely to come from supposedly dangerous failed states intent on using such things to build support and do us harm - and more likely to come from Stoke, intent on drinking Cider, playing online computer games and wishing they had a girlfriend. I don't want to see any photographs. Regardless of the practical purpose of displaying them, it can only serve to glorify OBL and degrade the purpose of doing away with him. It's not worth putting releasing them just for the benefit of half a dozen virgins from The Midlands.. or so that rootin' tootin' meatheads from South Caroliney can buzz around town in trucks on pumped-up wheels beating their chests and firing pistols into the air. I very much doubt if anyone 'on the other side' is expecting to hear from him anytime ever.

Is that a Playstation? There's a time and a place, Obama.

Silverfox - You've still got 'look, there's concorde!' and 'are you sure you didn't leave the iron on?' left in your arsenal. I wouldn't worry about it though. You will win. Why? Because hardly anyone cares. They don't even care enough to vote in the first place, let alone consider endless 'what if' ramifications. They don't care, because they don't feel it'll make any difference. And if you seriously consider that to be victory - then that's a bit sad. All you're really doing is putting more people off voting by boring them to death with stats.

All the graphs, charts, calculations and permutations (leading inevitably to Ant and Dec in the top jobs with Peter Andre as foreign secretary) also completely ignore everyone's right to only choose one preference - something which (in my opinion) a lot of people will do, especially if they're all cacking themselves about the graphs, charts, calculations and permutations. Or just because they're not stoopid and can work it out for themselves.

That has got to be one of the shittest analogies I've heard to date. What next? AV ate my hamster?

Moflo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I havent got a noisy dog problem, its a gang of > teenagers!! playing football in the street at > 2am!! I have a leaflet for 'parent training school' which you could present their folks with if you like - an action sure to get them on-side and achieve the result you're looking for.

Ah yeah that good oooooold time olde fashioned drawn and quarter method. Give me that one - any day - any week. Bring it on. Woo! Jobsagoodun. Seriously - bringing back 'HDQ' as I think we could retitle it (for the benefit of texters etc) would surely spell the end of AQ. They'd soon give-up any thought of strapping bombs to themselves, or flying aeroplanes into buildings and dying in a flaming ball of gasoline for a fanatical religious cause that means more to them than life itself - if we had HDQ on our side. Worked for Queen Mary. She sure put an end to fanatical religious causes - with a little HDQ.

In fact, I flicked in between Ice Station Zebra and The Poseidon Adventure. I think I changed channel whenever I couldn't see Ernest Borgnine.

Can't help thinking though.. poor Cheryl. The hair, the weight. The music. 'It never rains', as they say.

If it helps - I was watching Ice Station Zebra. Does this mean that fans of mediocre cold war drama are more likely than others to be obese, indebted Bucks Fizz fans?

Do you mean monthly oral sex holidays 'for him' or 'for her'?

Since acquiring a hard-disk recorder, I haven't seen any adverts for ages - until quite recently - during a spell of convalescence on the sofa when even using the remote control proved too great a burden. I was disturbed to see, during the same commercial break: an ad for a loan shark company called 'Wonga'; one for a slimming program where the bald one out of Bucks Fizz demonstrates how much weight she lost by grappling with a "sack o' tatties"; and a company selling clothes for the grossly overweight. (In my opinion, if you take a 66" shirt I would be looking for a change of lifestyle, not a fashionable bomber jacket.) God help us all.

What was the problem? Wrong colour?

aspidistra Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If Terry from Plumstead can't master a form with a > single order of preference, how does Terence the > Third from Travis, Texas master this: And the reason for showing me this bizarre ballot paper from the arse-end of nowhere is..? Check this one out.. it's from a town called 'London'. No.. I just can't figure out what it means. Perhaps someone clever at The Times can help.

I wish I had the brains to cut-and-paste something from a newspaper, but I'm going to have to strike out on my own here. "The most preferred candidate wins". That's it, isn't it? Once this mind-boggling concept and meaning of the word 'prefer' has been grasped; should even Rod, Jane and Freddy get sent to number 10, it will be because they were 'preferred', for if no-one 'preferred' them, then they wouldn't be there. In addition, if you can only stomach one candidate, then you only use one cross. So it would seem that a move to AV would allow both a first past the post or a preferred victor. I expect The Times thinks Terry from Plumstead will merely dribble on his ballot paper, cross everything (including a few on the back for good measure), rather than attempt puzzle-out any of these lofty constitutional conundrums.

Terry. Mate. Let me see if I can help you out with this one. Let's say you're at home and your watching the darts, or maybe the snooker, or whatever it is you people watch. You're at home - and you fancy a bit of chocolate. You send TheWife down to the shop to get some. But (being the Co-Op) you're not sure if they'll have Galaxy. So - now listen carefully - what you do is list the chocolate bars you'd prefer to have in order of preference. Geddit? Pay no heed to those who claim that (due to a peculiar alignment of the planets coupled with a prevailing north-westerly) there's a slim possibility that - instead of a chocolate bar of your choosing - you might end-up with Rose West.

uuugghhh! My brain is simply incapable of understanding how this works. "List candidates in order of preference"? I mean - wtf?! Seriously. And if I (BA Hons, knight of the realm etc) can't manage it, how it poor Terry from Plumstead going to cope with the intricacies of listing candidates in order of preference?

DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And yes I have plenty of understanding of how > governemnt, politicians and councils work thank > you very much. But of course..

That's an easy one DPF. Singapore is built on a ley line - connected directly to Goodrich school. So it's not wonder Huge knows more about that the other poor schmucks who just live down the road and send their kids their etc etc

Come on, Maxxi - Who can forget Dire Straits definitive punk classic, Walk of Life? One in the eye for establishment.

I'd go with 'troll' if I were you. The alternative is that you're at least 45, write like a retarded chimpanzee and used to sing along to Dire Straits.