*Bob*

I was sick in my mouth somewhere between Oval and Stockwell - back in '97 I think it was. Any use?

I have to say that our local shop is very competitive on pricing. Unfortunately you have to order anything you want to buy three days in advance and there's a ?40 minimum spend - which can be a little inconvenient.

Is your friend the one I saw wallowing around in the slow lane..? Yellow polka dot two-piece, glass eye, verruca sock and uneven breasts..? Not interested, I'm afraid.

Peter, whilst you're here - can you settle an argument? Have you, or have you not - named yourself in honour of Millets own-brand outdoor camping range?

Yep, that's me

Do you mean.. sexually speaking?

Julie B, Charlie B, plentiful firestarting material.. plus The Guide - for a quid = good value ?1.70 for the guide alone.. too steep.

Mick - just think of it as Simply Red.. only more black.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ...let's all get on one My brother sent this to me last a few Fridays ago. That's two things you have in common. Freaky, huh?

I've got some great ones.. but they're quite specific - and I certainly don't want to 'out' myself.

A successful anti-drink-driving campaign does not make amends for the Sun Life Over 50 Plan.

we've got lumps of it round the back

Fun, fun, fun! 'Just have fun with it'.. another favourite. I went to St Luke's and they had a box of lego and load of toys and games in reception.. for visitors to, y'know, just have fun with. Stick your lego bricks up your arse, show me your tedious commercial and just tell me which unaffordable track I need to rip-off - so I can go home.

I went to one agency some time back.. one of the Saatchis I think.. and half the people on one floor were whizzing up and down the wide corridors between offices on micro scooters. Greys used to have bulbs in the lift that changed colour when you reached a particular (colour coded) floor. It was impossible to get out of any half-hour meeting without hearing the words 'edgy' and 'organic' at least seven times. I say no more.

Bill Hicks..? Was he really 'funny as hell'?.. not sure. Great stage act, engrossing and humorous - but I don't remember creasing-up with belly laugh upon belly laugh. Half the people that scream with laughter at his every word are just trying to show how, like, they really really get it. Like people who explode with shrieks of overstated laughter at the theatre.

There's a distinct divide: between 'the ones over a certain age' - who tend to recognise the futility of their chosen profession on just about every level other than getting paid and - instead - count their lucky stars that they've managed to spend the last decade or three being paid to scribble around with fluorescent pens, go on occasional shoots to paradise, do long lunches, get free stuff and play lego and table football for three hours of an afternoon.. .. and 'the ones under a certain age' who'll tell you that their yoghurt commercial is sure to be a real gamechanger for the industry - as they flop around on an Aeron chair with low-slung jeans and wearing glasses without lenses.

Ridgley Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- he find is hard to string two word together Easy for you to say

Pabs? We aint got no pwoppa pabs raaaand ere no more. Went to that Gowlett. Pizza! Pizza? Doooo meeeee a fayva. I says to the barman, I says, .. etc

Sometimes one simply longs for a simple, honest establishment where one can lean one's bow up against the bar, set-down one's container of organic self-harvested sustainable meat - and enjoy a pretension-free drink.

The one on the left is basically Liza Tarbuck. The other one is straight out of the League of Gents.

Do Bea and 'Gene really need protection? If anything, I'm slightly afraid of them. Especially the one on the right.

I know I ought to be herding them to a staging-point at Beachy Head and then marching them - single file - over the edge.. but for some reason I'm quite fond of the inbred slack-jawed halfwits. If nothing else, we should keep them for sheer comedy value - and to annoy The Scotch. And 'keep' is the operative word. They are, after all, our bitches. Edited 600000000000 times, by an idiot.

No, just a bit of a tit. But thanks all the same.

Sounds like a low-quality mp3 of a decent recording.. which I mean as a compliment. Got a nice sound, which is better than higher fidelity with a crap sound. I like the romance of the 4-track. Indeed, my first recording (a scintillating cover version of the theme music to Howard's Way) was recorded on Tascam Portastudio back in.. er.. some time ago. I'd get another 4-track now, were it not for my inability to play a musical instrument properly, sing, or possess any other meaningful sort of musical skill whatsoever.

You should definitely apply, Annette. I think you could look real pretty with the right make-up.. a new hairdo... and a shave..