*Bob*

Anyone fancy a drink later? I'm meeting-up with Jasper, Henry and Luke.

Here you go, ratty

I heard she owns eight cars - including a Bentley. And she doesn't even have to wipe her own arse - she just phones the council and they send someone round to do it - at taxpayers expense. Honestly - this country is going DOWN THE PAN.

I try not to stray into The City, on account of it being full of pinstripe-suited and Chelsea-booted Jaspers talking about vintage car restoration, Blackberry operating systems, the best bars in Reykjavik, tits and private clinics who do laser eye surgery.

She's probably sitting on a pile of solid gold ingots, shining her diamond rings and flossing her teeth with satin too. Probably.

I'm enjoying the Dunkirk spirit of the moment. It's all two-jumpers-on, economy winter stews, and Boggle by candlelight chez nous.

Will the Gurkhas be allowed a council house?

Tedsmum... Every time I go into your store, a part of me secretly wants to ask whether the pane of glass would really cost me ?2000..? I'm still not sure what the sequence of the lights is. I just make a run for it like everybody else - green man or not.

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Because you are an open minded individual who > seeks the good in people wherever you are, and > avoids crass generalisations, I predict you will > love Edinburgh too. At this point I only have the crass generalisations of my Glaswegian friends to go on, unfortunately.

You should never trust government stats, Ted. They probably counted the (temporary) population surge due to the Edinburgh Festival, just to get the figures up. I really like Glasgow. Does this mean I'll hate Edinburgh, if I go?

Apologies - I should have said: hence the declining population of proud Scots there.

The Scots mostly take themselves out of Scotland. Hence the declining population there.

Cassius Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It used to be very good - in the days when the > entire cast of the Bill used to eat there - I suppose when you spend all day filming in a grey cardboard box just outside Merton then anywhere can seem like The Ivy.

Deeply mediocre. Use Lombok in Camberwell instead for home delivery.

You can always count on our national game to bring out the very worst in people. I'm so proud.

If then be stayed a longer all Latin had the Romans little we'd speaking and word order wouldn't matter.

Essentially, if you're already convinced that children making your life boring before you've had them, then you are destined to be a boring parent. Children should fit in around you, not you around them - as far as is possible. Happy parents = happy children. Miserable, resentful parents = miserable, resentful children.

I'm happy to report that (despite being with saddled with said millstones.. er. I mean children..) we still manage to eat out, go clubbing, watch films, go to the (bloody) theatre, attend music festivals, act irresponsibly, go to parties and stay up all night and still get up later than most the next day. In fact, we do 100% of the enjoyable things we did before - albeit less, plus another 200% enjoyable things we never did before. So stick that in your childless pipes and smoke it.

Tony.. I love you

I think what Louisa means was: The carpet wasn't sticky and didn't smell of beer and stale cigarettes. They weren't carrying enough of London's laughable local brews (the ones served with the frothy washing-up liquid on top) The food wasn't served in a basket.

A girlfriend threw a saucepan at me once. Does that count as abuse? I suppose a girl who occasionally throws saucepans at her boyfriend is probably considered 'feisty' whereas a boy who throws saucepans at his girlfriend needs is a scrote who needs sorting ahht by 'Fill' Mitchell and the boys. In the interests of balance, I should add that I responded to the saucepan by throwing the remote control at her. It was a 'soft throw' (at the back of my mind I could forsee a trip to Argos to replace the remote) but even so the cover came off and the batteries fell out. I didn't sellotape it back on for two days in order to make an important point. We're not together any more.

By happy coincidence, we went there last night to check it out. I never went to the old Magdala and so only have Mrs *Bob*s description to go on: "dated, in a bad way" as opposed to being "old fashioned/traditional in a good way". As for the new Magnolia, we both liked it, maybe a lot more than we thought we would. Putting aside the "not those again" lightshades over the bar and run of wallpaper around the bar, we actually thought it was firmly out of Bishop territory and all the better for it. It feels modern without being wanky and plain without being boring. There's an obvious leaning towards eating, but that 'side' of the place is the best bit. Really liked the canteeny look and feel of it, and it's great to have somewhere where there are actually tables which can sit larger groups to eat comfortably - and boasts plenty of space between the tables too, which is a real luxury. The 'bar' side suffers somewhat from this bias, feeling more like a waiting area to get into the canteen part, but then I suppose that's kind-of what it is. Will it 'work' being slightly off the beaten track? If the food's good enough (we didn't eat) then I think it deserves to. Hope so anyway.

Certainly not, Moos.. I'll be off down The Castle for my usual twelve pints, kebab and a fight. You can keep your fancy flocked wallpaper.

For my part - I promise never ever ever ever to speak of this again. And I look forward to a drink at the New Mag - especially now that all the scum have been cleared out. (Actually maybe those lines should have been in a different order)

I'm afraid the point - which has sailed right over your head (again) - is that neither of them should be used as insults unless you're a sad, narrow-minded, prejudiced person. Or in your case - because you haven't thought about it enough yet.