*Bob*

Tell 'er to leave it aaht, you gorrinuff on yer plate

Louisa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ... with a little less class based stereotypes. For all your pot, kettle and black requirements

Flamethrower. Those pearly jackets are highly combustible.

I like a ham sandwich. But would I find it acceptable to have my penis repeatedly slammed in the fridge door until it went blue and fell off? Case proved.

I have insider knowledge on this. It'll either be Paul Ross or Russell Grant.

In five years I predict the show will just be Galloway and Starkey as guests - with Farage* presenting. *Nicola Sturgeon for Scottish edition.

They're everywhere, like in 'V'

You shouldn't have to 'know where to go' to get a decent drink in a pub. You should be able to walk into nearly any pub and order anything on tap (aside from some rank superfizzy overstrength Lager) with the reasonable confidence that it won't look and taste like what's left in the drokking bowl after doing the washing up. If they can manage it perfectly well in any hell-hole in Stoke or Barnsley you'd care to talk into they ought to be able to manage it in down here. It's good things are improving.

They've got George and Nige in this time to jazz things up a bit, which is a bit sneaky. Maybe David will do a song at the end and they'll let some fireworks off as well.

'And now on BBC1, Question Time - which this week comes from Scotland' *Click*

Working titles of some shows I worked on that never made it to transmission: "Twelve Angry Celebrities" "The Gay Team" "Celebrities on Horses"

David A Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 'The Apprenticeship' and make science post-grads from > UMIST and Imperial wrestle, Greco-Roman style, for > the chance to train as a plumber. I'd pitch it. It's a winner.

I dunno, Pibe. So iTunes does work on the PC then?

right-clicking Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sure they look good and are of great quality, > robust and reliable. But cost a fortune! ?287/year.

I really don't understand your continual insistence to offer-up so-called understanding based-on half-arsed googling. Is that omg.yahoo - 'for all your tv analysis needs'? I remember fondly your recent advice on the gardening thread.. a six foot trench and barrier for bamboo.. happy days. Anyway, according to you of course, they could just put the test card up in that slot and still get the same figures.

Sorry Foxy, but that's balls! According to you, the show continues because it's good for Sugar, achieves good viewing figures simply because it its slot and moreover outside that slot - nobody would be interested. In fact, the show continues because its good for the BBC, gets good viewing figures because it's a popular show with a solid viewing base - and gets 3m viewers outside of its prime slot. Happy to set you straight. On you go - to the next blunder.

The format is certainly tired and they've shed a million or two viewers from their peak a year (or two?) ago but - nine series in - it's still an absolute solid performer for Auntie. Compare to Big Brother: peaked with over 8m in the early days, ended on 2m. 3m watch the follow-up 'You're Fired' show, FFS! God knows why.

So I expect the extra 2-3 million viewers (on top of the near 6 for the primetime showing) watching the show either on iPlayer, or the repeat showing, or recorded - just slipped and fell on their computers and recorders - and accidentally accessed the programme. Is there anything else you know nothing about which you'd care to offer an uninformed opinion on today?

DulwichFox Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It earns Sugar Millions. > Hence repeated series. Er, no. It still manages 6 million viewers - 'Hence repeated Series'

I love the smell of 5Tb Databases in the morning

the-e-dealer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Yeah and I run 5TB Databases Is that as exciting as it sounds?! Don't you worry about this whole silly discussion, Ted. You have a nice cup of tea and sit down somewhere quiet instead.

Surely anything is better than the Football Focus thread?

It's a nice idea, TED. But unfortunately I need to run giant orchestral sample libraries and record and mix a few dozen tracks of audio and instruments - not dick about with a phone.

So (software argument aside - which is of course true) you really think I should ditch the ?287/year machine with a near 100% reliability record - for an unfamiliar and untried system costing ?200/year? A saving of ?87. Really?

Sounds great, TED (.. for flicking yourself off, playing Boggle and sending emails)