Belle

yES, must say we were v suprised by our consultant's approach! Obviously we've employed common sense - no unecessary splashing, and my son HATES having his hair washed so that's not a v common occurence anyway...plus we haven't got round to swimming with him other than on holiday. The grommet that has come out is as a result of his ear peforating, we think (i.e. unconnected to the water/ears incidences).

Hi there, my son is quite a bit younger (22 months) and has only had his since May, but just a different perspective: our surgeon told us not to bother with protecting the ears during hairwashing, swimming etc. We actually went on holiday right after the op, and were concerned about the swimming but he told us not to worry at all. He suggested if we were concerned that the ear had become wet, we should dry it carefully and gently with a bit of tissue. From what I understand, they do drop out naturally - my son's right one has dropped out recently, we have discovered. I'd have thought the consultant would have given you more specific advice if it was a concern.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just an observation but I think that 'In-laws' to > the mum(s) are possibly a bit more wary of seeing > as intervening(intefering) with how their > daughter-in-laws are parenting/babying, it's quite > a sensitive area....looks on here for instance > that quite a lot of you ladies are saying my > parents are great (not all) but inlaws less hands > on, I don't think that's entirely coincidental? Yes, think there's definitely something in that. Must be harder for a mother in law to know how to help in a way. and I know I feel fine about telling my mum what needs done - which is obviously harder with someone who you're not related to. Pugwash - great post - what you describe is I think what we would all wish for in a grandparent - quite right that you shouldn't have to be 'on tap', but equally good to know the help is there.

How old will your baby be by then? The Quest is lighter than either of those, but think it's 6 months and up (or poss 3 months? does have several recline positions, but not fully flat hence not from birth) - and poss a better car/holiday option as such?

aw Pebbles - my little boy doesn't have chicken pox or I'd have gladly answered your post, and nearly did to say just that, thought it was a good idea. I hope when it's our turn there are people to do poxy play dates with!

the whole lady gaga thing pretty much passed me by. I am good on telly references because that's what I do in non mothering time, but other than that - rubbish. Feel awful because I never know what's in the news, because I can basically only cope with sitcoms or semi decent american drama on my down time. Was pondering all this last night and fretting about not using my brain. But then I watched another episode of Cougar Town and forgot about using my brain for the time being...

Hmm, a few ideas based on what people say here (rather than my own experience really): best urban buggy - Bugaboo bee best jogger/offroader - poss baby Jogger or Mountain Buggy? for style - Stokke perhaps? for budget/good all rounder, maclaren XLR

I found cup feeding so hard, we did it for 10 days or so, then switched to the bottle (against advice) - we were just losing so much or felt like we were 'tipping' it in only for it to come right back up. Can see the thinking behind it, but it was such a fiddle!

I know - something so upsetting about it, def think it hurts us more! What really upset me was the way he was so still and quiet - most uncharacteristic! He recovered fast though. I too do the 'gentlegentlegentle' mantra with small babies, as he's fascinated by them. Just to balance this thread - I've had quite a few lovely incidents with older kids playing really nicely with my son, in all sorts of situations.

This issue generally is such a tricky one I think, as it depends on the what's happening. I tend to judge it based on how accidental I think it was - if it was just part of the rough and tumble/exuberance of toddler life, I ignore it, but if it starts getting towards bullying/aggression (i.e. if the child is older/bigger than mine) I go over and say something like 'leave him alone/stop that please, he's smaller than you'. I do also tell my own child to share/not to push etc. What I don't get so bothered about is another toddler taking something off my child, I kind of think it's good for him to learn that might happen and that it's not the end of the world if it does. I did once have a horrible experience in Peckham Rye playground where my son disappeared into the playtunnel, only for me to find him a minute later, sitting stock still with a shocked look on his face as a much older child repeatedly hit him!

And would your independent m/w be able to mitigate some of that situation F? I think if it were me I'd press for elective c/s in that situation. Do completely understand and share your fear of hospital stays in the circumstances you describe, but hopefully combo of forumites and independent m/w would help! Nice to hear a positive story above though - it could be that at the next scan baby is still head down? fingers crossed for you.

pebbles Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > OMG this is just dreadful. My daughter is going > through exactly the same thing. Just in so much > pain and sudacrem just doesn't touch the sides. I > was recommended Metanium today so will go and get > that tomorrow (can i get it at any normal > chemists?) We've been giving her as much nappy > free time as possible but as a 4x a day pooer it's > a bit difficult :) > Yes - you can get metanium most places, definitely in Lloyds chemist on Northcross Road but also big supermarkets. Warning though - it's worse than sudocrem in terms of getting everywhere and staining, so be careful! > Oh our poor babies, i just feel so so so guilty. > I can't believe I continued to use wipes and not > water - oh i feel dreadful. > > I will be at the supermarket first thing tomorrow > to buy new nappies. > > :(

hmm - sounds like it! Hope the ECV works and baby stays in position afterwards.

good luck fuschia - so sorry to hear about one of the twins being hospitalised though, hope everything improves soon.

Oh lovely news! Has been exciting waiting to hear! congratulations, glad to hear it all went well.

Buggie - I've often wondered if we encountered you! For the record - every A&E nurse we had was wonderful, made it a lot easier. I know I did loads of embarassing things as a kid but think my dad actually encouraged it as he found it hilarious.

sorry to hijack EMC - but what age is best to start at the dentist? I just can't imagine getting my toddler to lie back and open his mouth obediently - it's hard enough to get him to stay still for temperature taking etc on doctor's visits.

Great ideas from everyone, thanks! Sillywoman - think you're right, hence we used to make do a lot with flanneling his hair, it's more the water issue now I think that's the problem. He's a crafty beggar so I think I'm going to have to be quick to try some of these techniques, as he can get out of the bath v v easily now. I think trying to do it with me in the bath alongside would be a good starting point. Thanks all! re brushing teeth - we strike a deal where we 'have our turn' doing his teeth i.e. they get done properly, then he does them himself.

buggie - your story reminded me that as a small baby my son manage to pee with embarassing accuracy on several different doctors - during his six week check but also various times we had to go to A&E , it became almost predictable in the end. He's not really big enough for saying much embarassing stuff yet, but the other day in the chemist I got a bit flustered when we were waiting in the queue, as he appeared to be pointing at a nearby woman and saying 'dog! dog!' repeatedly. Then realised she was sitting next to a big stand of pet flea treatment which had a massive picture of a dog, so had to do over the top pointing out of this (in sing song talking to son manner) to make sure her feelings weren't hurt.

My 21mth old has never much liked having his hair washed, but the situation is getting ridiculous...we used to make do with kind of sponging his hair down if there was an obvious need to e.g. food in it, then every so often would steel ourselves to do it properly. However he's increasingly upset about water on his face, to the point that tonight, despite us both being there, the minute he saw me pick up the shampoo bottle he just screamed and climbed out of the bath into my arms. He's done that before, but usually half way through so I've managed to finish the job just about. Have also tried the shower but he's just as scared of that. It's awful to see him so scared, so I'm really not keen to be too forceful - but at the same time he does need his hair washed now and again. We do have one of those jugs with a rubber rim but it's pretty much useless. Plus, he's wise to any water being within 2 feet of his face now so not sure any gadget will do the trick. What do people normally do in this situation? maybe hold off for a bit and hope he gets over it? I have a feeling it'll be a while...

I have a good arrangement with ocado - usually book the 6.30-7.30pm slot, but as one of us is always home by 6 they have us marked down as people who are happy to get an early delivery - 9/10 it is, which is brilliant. Means you know you can def order your dinner in the delivery as well! We've maybe had 2 or 3 issues in 3 years (the odd bag of flour that's burst or whatever) and they always reimburse, and the first time we complained we got a free bottle of wine as an apology. I also love all the freebies we get - samples - last night got a bag of pasta. Only slightly annoying thing is they have some deal with the Times (or used to anyway) whereby you can't order any other paper with them.

Those who have alarms - of the kind which are connected to police stations - what firms are you using? I'm trying to explore this but it's kind of confusing - lots of offer, complying with various standards.

No advice to add but wanted to say a) you poor thing - must have been very frightening esp given your childhood experience and b) is def the kind of thing that could happen to anyone - I always feel as though we miss accidents by a hair's breadth a million times a day. And of course sometimes we don't manage to miss them cue screams, blood, tears on both sides! Hope you get some good advice from the drop in place, try not to panic too much (but easier said than done!).

we see my mother in law fairly often as she's in NW London - so if not once a week then once a fortnight or so, though obviously holidays etc can mean it might be longer. She helps with childcare when I do some freelance from time to time. My own mum is in Scotland, and only retired this year so for the first year of my son's life contact was more sporadic, though we do use skype now, and now she's retired it's easier. Still, distance does mean it's by necessity quite irregular, which I do feel sad about. It can also mean that at times like this (currently I'm visiting her with my son), it takes him a good couple of days to adjust and relax with my mum, e.g. he can be clingy when I leave the room. That really upsets me as he's not like this with his other grandma or various friends etc we see regularly. This subject is also a sad one for us as my dad died when I was 17, and my father in law died this year, so now our son had neither grandad. Of course I recognise how lucky we are to have two adoring grandmothers on the scene though! It's more for us I guess - we both miss our dads. My mum wouldn't move down, nor would I expect her too as she's now got a very busy life up here and a new partner, but I don't see us moving either. Modern life I guess!

Normal service resumed here last night as me and little one are acclimatised to chilly Scotland! I did see some fleece sleepsuits in Asda but they were about ?8, am on the hunt for something cheaper and thinner, anyone know if Tesco's do them (nearest Primark here is 60 miles away!).