agathoise

This happened to us about three weeks ago -- I went to unlock the car, but it wasn't locked. I was fairly sure that it had been locked and that keys were in a secure place. All interior compartments (glove compartments, storage bits on dashboard, etc. were wide open, and something had been moved onto the driver's seat, which suggests that whoever rifled through the car sat in the passenger seat. CDs had been strewn about, but not taken (I guess "The Best of Agatha Christie's Poirot" doesn't sell well down the local pub ;-)) ... in fact the only thing that had been taken (as far as we can tell) was my elder daughter's change purse which contained no more than three pounds in change. Everything had been pulled out of the compartments, which suggests someone rummaged through in a hurry. My husband reckons it was kids, but I'm not sure how they would have got in. My eldest child summed it up nicely by saying "I can't believe anyone would risk going to jail for the rubbish in your car Mum!" Maybe rifling through bags of (unused) nappies and baby clothes taught them a lesson! Agathoise

Hi R&C I've posted before about how much we love "Juggling Joolz" -- she's an all-round children's entertainer with 15++ years experience who manages to keep children from teeny-tinies to blase pre-teens spellbound. She does juggling, magic, bubbles, modelling balloons, face-painting, temporary tattoos, parachute games, pass the parcel & traditional games (not all at once, obviously!). She also has puppets and is CRB checked. We've been to several parties that she's done and my kids (19mo, 3, 6 and 8) think she's amazing and want to adopt her! Her contact numbers are 0208 289 5026 and 07963 447178 BTW - We have no commercial connection with Joolz -- we just think that she's fab and puts on a brilliant show for 0-10s... Hope this helps Agathoise

Hi Molly a couple of books you may find useful are "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson and "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" by Norma J Bumgarner both available from Amazon UK or La Leche League Books; both are available to borrow from your local LLL group. Both books have lots of ideas for gentle ways to cut down nursing, or to stop nursing if that's what's right for you. You might also find talking to other mothers in the same situation, or who have been in the same situation helpful. The local La Leche League group currently meets near Blythe Hill, and you'll find both the Leaders (qualified bfc) and other mothers really helpful. LLL's philosophy is that each mother and baby dyad is different, and these differences must be respected: nobody will tell you to keep breastfeeding, or to stop breastfeeding. What you will get is shared experience, and accurate information -- and a nice chat with other mums! More info here: http://lalecheleagueselondon.blogspot.com/ The La Leche League International website has some interesting articles in the links section: see http://www.llli.org/NB/NBextended.html for a page of links to articles about extended breastfeeding including quite a few about weaning -- some are first person experience, others link to scientific studies. Sorry this is brief and all impersonal, but my four imps are keeping me rather busy at the moment! Fwiw, I've only weaned one of mine, and I used bribery (mini-milks and biscuits: "would you like boobie OR would you like an ice-cream?" Ice-cream won out every time!): I was desperate for a short break before the birth of my fourth child. That child (#3) had the shortest nursing duration at 22 months; the older two weaned themselves at 24m 1wk and 29 months. The youngest is still nursing at 19m :-) It might seem like your little one is going to nurse forever, but I promise you she wont! Don't lose sight of all the wonderful mothering you're doing, and what a great behaviour you're modelling to your daughter by being so sensitive to her needs. Big pat on the back for yourself!! :-) Hth Agathoise (semi-retired BFC)

See what Jell Howell (VERY reliable and well respected building guru who seems to enjoy de-bunking cowboy builder myths) has to say about spray-on roof coatings (scroll down to "The roofing job that gives bodging a bad name") http://www.askjeff.co.uk/roofing.html Avoid!!

Had a rat saunter across the road in front of my car as I drove up the top end of Crystal Palace Rd at lunchtime today. The children insisted that it was a giant mouse :-)

We had a dead fox appear in our garden this past winter -- fortunately the weather was cold which made it slightly easier to deal with, but it was truly gross: decomposed and missing most of its head, tail, legs and some of the entrails. Despite being incomplete, it still filled a LARGE black bin bag and was extremely heavy. I just stuck it in the wheelie bin in the black bags -- didn't even bother phoning the council: if they can't deal with dog poo, I'd be amazed if they could deal efficiently with decomposing vermin. It stank and was horrible, but I tied a scarf around my mouth, put rubber gloves on and just got on with it: I needed to get the stinking thing out of the garden so that I could let the children out to play. I challenge anyone who says that we don't have an urban fox problem in ED to do the same clean-up job and then repeat the same statement and mean it! Urgh! Agathoise

James - my kids are at the school, and distance was definitely taken into account (cf Fuschia's point re: admission pt 4 on the page you linked to). We are very local, have lived in the area a long time, and knew a large number of the families at the school before our children were enrolled there simply because the families had been local to us in ED and active members of the parish (it's not a big school, and with quite a lot of larger-than-average families, there are fewer families than at many schools therefore easier to know a larger proportion). Bear in mind that St Thomas More is a very large, vibrant and very active parish (there are *five* Sunday Masses including the vigil, and you'll find surprising numbers of young people at the weekday morning Masses as well, including mums and young children: this isn't the much-derided church-school "tokenism" that is often inferred): there are **far** more Catholic children living locally than there are places at St Anthony's! I don't know anything about bike sheds, but there is a bike-and-scooter-corral which is very well used :-) - Agathoise

I think it's also worth pointing out that the VAST majority of St Anthony's students walk to school, and are VERY local. Contrary to what appears to be popular belief, distance from school IS taken into account in admissions -- I know from experience! Yes some people move during the course of their children's time at the school, and other parents work, and some of these will drive, but I'd be surprised if the ratio of children driven to school compared with those walking is greater than that for any of the other schools in the area. -Agathoise

Depends which part of Friern you're on - the section between Goodrich and Lordship Lane has utterly ineffective speed cushions, and we have had many near misses over the years. This block is used as a cut-through by drivers avoiding the lights at Barry Rd/L'ship Lane, and we get a lot of delivery vehicles steaming through at breakneck speeds. When the speed bumps were reviewed two yrs ago, this block was given one extra set of ineffective speed cushions, wheras the rest of Friern got proper speed bumps that actually slow traffic down. I've spoken to the council (engineers) about this on numerous occasions, requesting a speed survey, chicane, closing the road at this end like they've done down the Peckham Rye end (e.g. at Ethrow St - they did it one summer for has works and it was heavenly only having local traffic) - anything ... but nothing's been done. I honestly think it's only a matter of time before there's a fatal accident on this block - I have seen far too many near misses, and with schools at either end of the block, there are scores of children walking up and down and across the road on this block every day... :-(

We've got six chickens and have been -- so far -- safe from foxes during the day. We've made big improvements to our fencing since having the chickens, and are continuing to improve security. They're never left out of the run if we're not around, and are locked into the coop at night. It is a worry -- we've had a foxes' set next door for the past eight years, although fortunately it appears to be abandoned at the moment. I'm also looking into installing two of these (http://www.conceptresearch.co.uk/fox_2.htm) audio fox deterrents which have had great reviews on various poultry keepers' forums: does anyone local have any experience of them? On the plus side -- the chooks are brilliant pets: friendly and very funny to have around. The eggs are a marvel too! Does anyone fancy an ED chicken-keepers' meet-up at some point? A holiday chicken-sitting exchange could be useful too if anyone's interested... Agathoise (and Ginger, Queenie, Snowy, Misty, Spot and Daisy the chickens)

I'd be quite happy to pay for a *useable* dropped curb, but was offered one too narrow for any ordinary car to use. Tbh I'd be happy to pay for a parking residents' permit if it would guarantee me a spot near my house... As it is we can rarely park within 10 houses of our home if we come home late, and this is increasingly the case in the day as well. Sure a driveway's a safety no-brainer if you have little kids (and we have a few), *if* you can get the ok for a useable one! Bitter, moi? ;-)

Count yourself lucky that they "let" you have permission for a driveway of useful width - when we applied they would only give permission for about 1/3 of our (average ED terrace) frontage width - which would not fit anything wider than a Smart car and would therefore be utterly useless, despite nothing unusual about our situation and virtually every other house around us having a full width dropped curb. When we queried this we were told that they would have to speak to the specific surveyor to ascertain the reason. Guess what? Despite following this up on several occasions we got no answers - this is my ongoing experience of Southwark Council (we've had similar experiences with several departments). We were told that we'd be fined if we put in a driveway without paying for the dropped curb - some legislation about driving over un-dropped curbs was referred to. I'm damned if I'm going to pay the best part of a grand for a dropped curb that isn't wide enough to use, and in the absence of getting any sense out of Southwark I've resigned myself to shlepping four kids, shopping etc. half a block or so any time we come home after 5pm :-(

There are well known long-term repeat offenders (we've lived around here over 12 years, and one has been letting his dogs foul anywhere and everywhere for at least that long with impunity), who repeatedly walk their dogs around Friern / Goodrich / Etherow Street / Barry Road and who are rude at best, abusive at worst when offered a bag or asked if they're going to pick up after their dog(s). I've noticed that one of the worst offenders has now taken to walking his (incontinent) dogs under cover of darkness, presumably to reduce the chances of being challenged about leaving dog poo all over the pavement. Personally I'm sick of having to clean dog poo off my children's shoes and buggy wheels. This morning there were half a dozen little dog poos in front of our gate left behind by some mutt that had obviously walked along as it squeezed them out. Nice. Try to dodge those as you leave the house in a hurry with a phalanx of children and toddlers! I think we should set up stocks on Goose Green for repeat dog poo offenders and return all the 'gifts' they've left on the pavement directly to the owners: splat! We've owned several dogs over the years, although we don't have one at the moment, and I'm not anti-dog by any stretch of the imagination. But it would have never occurred to me not to pick up after my dog, under any circumstances and I'm really sick and tired of picking up after other people's dogs. Agathoise

There are different sorts of Ladybird about -- the native ones and a recent invader: the larger Harlequin Ladybird (Harmonia axyridis also known as the Multicoloured Asian Ladybird and the Halloween Ladybird) which has come over from continental Europe (where it had migrated from its original habitat in eastern Asia) and is close to eradicating our native ladybird species. The Harlequin ladybirds are larger and have a different number of spots, they hibernate in large numbers in warm buildings. There's a lovely insect expert at the Horniman who can tell you much much more than the above if you're interested. Or you could check out these links which have visual guides on how to differentiate the two types: http://www.ladybird-survey.org/ and http://www.harlequin-survey.org/ Hope this helps! Agathoise

I'd love to see an Oh Snap in real life as well (instead of oogling internet photos!)... but doubt I'll be getting one now as I've just ordered a LittleLife Discoverer: not pretty but highly rated by several people I know as a good solution for carrying older babies on back (I'm finding baby #4 harder to carry than the previous three, in part because he's less cooperative, and in part because my back's more knackered now than it was four children and 8 years ago! :-); until now I've got away with using ring slings, tie-on wraps and mai-tais -- all of which look much nicer than the backpacks! Will keep an eye on this thread to see if any chance to see the Oh Snap materialises! Agathoise&co xx

Dear Anna I second what Fuschia said -- please take her to A&E. One of my daughters had similar symptoms in France a couple of years ago and I was fobbed off by our GP there. Eventually I marched into A&E and insisted that they look at her: she had a kidney infection, was completely colonised by eColi bacteria and was in the early stages of septicemia: another 24 hours could have been fatal. I was very glad that I trusted my intuition despite having been told by the GP that she was teething(!!) and that I was being a fretful mother! The vomiting bug doing the rounds is a 24-48h variety, and I've not seen it involve a fever. It could be that your little one has a cold or something else straightforward on top of the bug that is causing the temperature, but please do get her checked out if her temperature is still high. UTIs and kidney infections are the highest cause of "unexplained" high (40') temperatures presenting in girls under the age of 2. Hopefully by the time you've read this, your daughter will be back to normal. If not, please go to A&E. Kings Paed A&E are a world away from the normal adults A&E (which is dire) -- the Children's A&E is efficient and well run. You'll be well looked after there. Good luck and best wishes Agathoise

I had to laugh when I read your post -- I've been having the exact same internal conversation ("yes, I *promise* to sell at least three slings to fund this inevitable purchase... honest... ish"). But they do look good, don't they? I'm tempted but at ?95 would like to see one in real life. I also like the look of the SleepyNico but it's a little too close to my CatBirdBaby MeiTai to be a justifiable purchase ;-) So -- anyone got a Babyhawk Oh Snap?

Oh just one more thought -- I'm not sure if your daughter is still nursing or not: if she is she's much better being with you and being nursed: you'll be passing on passive immunity that will at the very least mitigate the bug if she catches it. Expressing won't have the same effect: we know very little about the mechanism by which information about which antibodies are required in the breastmilk is passed between mother and baby, but recent research suggests that the information is transmitted through lip-areola contact while nursing. So if she's breastfed your daughter will be more protected by up-close nursing contact with you than by being kept away and given expressed milk. Apologies if this isn't relevant & she's no longer nursing. All the best Agathoise x

There's a nasty norovirus bug doing the rounds and it's almost impossible to avoid: it used to be thought that you'd get 18-24months immunity from re-catching it after having a bout, but recent articles I've read suggest that this is no longer the case -- so we're pretty much stuck with a winter vomiting bug *every* winter now :-( I think having contact with daughter / Mr P once you feel better (hopefully already) is sensible: you'll be contagious while the tummy bug is active. You should feel better within a day or so -- advice already given is good: take probiotics, lots of fluids, etc. Hygiene, particularly hand washing helps, but doesn't eradicate the chance of picking it up. I'd say travel prepared: LOTS of baby wipes, a few plastic bags (to store manky clothes if someone's ill), spare changes of clothes for children, immodium for adults, dioralyte, calpol, a small plastic jug to be sick into if need be (we've found that jugs are better than cups or bowls for this b/c of the wide top and handle). Baby wipes are the key I think -- I've managed to make myself *look* and *smell* presentable after having been covered in baby vomit and diarrhoea (in KCH A&E no less -- a doctor looked on in horror and said "didn't you bring a change of clothes?" -- oh yeah, I usually stick a spare skirt & matching accessories into my nappy bag when I'm running out to A&E with a sick baby!). None of these things (wipes, spare clothes, etc.) are really out of the ordinary for travelling with children anyway, and hopefully you'll not need to use any of it. Travelling with littlies is always a hassle, long-haul is worse, and having sick ones (or sick you/hubby) doesn't help -- I really hope it all goes smoothly for you and you manage to have a lovely trip despite all! Agathoise & co x

Hi MP -- and thanks for your response. I have searched for all words, all dates; I have pulled up all of my mss through the search, I've also gone into my own mss through my profile (I used to build search engines so know a little about getting the most out of DBs :-). My own messages cut off the first 25 or so postings I made on the EDF (including the ones I was looking for -- there are only 50-odd messages showingout or 75 that I've posted). No worries -- I've found the phone numbers I needed elsewhere -- but there is definitely a black hole somewhere in the EDF! Interestingly, the Google cached results don't have what I'm looking for either, so the postings (and the threads they were in) may have been lost a few months ago. Cheers, Agathoise

Hello - Has there been a cull of older messages? I've been trying to track down a couple of tradespeople that I've found on the EDF, at least one of whom I also recommended on the forum a couple of years ago -- have searched my own messages (which end at 2008 for some reason) and also every possible keyword combination -- but no dice. Is this a blip, or have some messages been wiped? Thanks Agathoise

If the weather's OK consider going to Dulwich Park to rent wacky bikes from London Recumbents (http://www.londonrecumbents.com/) in the park... Adults can enjoy a civilised stroll while the children tear around burning up energy on the bikes.

Hi Nisha -- lovely to see you here on the forum, and thank YOU both for maintaining a gem of a local shop :-) Agathoise (the veg-grower with lots of children :-) ) xxx

The mum and toddler group in the John Paul Centre (just behind St Thomas More Church, 380 Lordship Lane) is still running on Monday mornings in term-time. It's a lovely group but does get very busy. There's also a mum and toddler session in the Bread of Life Cafe (Christchurch, Barry Rd) on Monday mornings. Hope this helps, Agathoise x

Dear Yemenik21 Don't forget that breastmilk is ideally supposed to provide the bulk of your baby's calories until she is around a year old. Nothing else that you can feed her can provide as dense a calorific intake. It is not unusual for babies to take to solids later than what we (currently) consider the norm; there is some evidence that babies who decline complimentary foods (foods other than breastmilk) may be those who are at most risk for allergies, and that a reluctance to eat solid foods may be designed to help these babies avoid allergens until the gut is mature enough to tolerate them. Babies who start solids later tend to do it quickly -- going from 0-100mph -- rather than the gradual introduction you get at an earlier age. Jaw and maxillofacial muscular development isn't an issue for breastfed infants who start solids later (as it is for bottle-fed babies) as the muscle-action required for bf is different, deeper, and more complex than needed with an artificial nipple/teat. If your baby is otherwise thriving and meeting her milestones, you have little to worry about. Do keep her involved in the "food culture" of your home, give her access to food - even if only to play with at dinner time, but you'll find that when a baby is ready to eat, you won't be able to stop her: she'll mug you for your dinner! In 6 years as a bfc I've seen many, many "late starters" -- they aren't late, they're right on time for their own schedule, but we worry because we're told in books or by health visitors that X or Y should happen at a particular age: unfortunately not all babies have read the government's health policy! :-) There's a La Leche League group that meets in Norwood (Crystal Palace-ish) and the LLL Leader, Elena, will be able to give you lots more information. There's also a library of useful books to borrow. PM me if you'd like her details, or ring the free 24h helpline 0845 1202918 - the breastfeeding counsellors are also trained in early child nutrition and weaning and will be able help you in much more detail. Hope this helps Agathoise PS: you might find the book My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzlalez both useful and reassuring