Bouncy

This happened to an older relative of mine when she was looking after my toddler in a park (in the Ladywell area). Seems like they are endemic throughout London. She did hand over some money - not because she is stupid, as some have suggested, but because she was confused and felt somewhat threatened. Let's blame the scammers, not the people they are scamming. Turn your contempt on the people who are intimidating pensioners and children, not those who are being intimidated.

Midivydale, do you mind if I ask - do you have to / want to go back to that particular job? Do you have any other options? x

WorkingMummy - I remember making up the right answers too! - because I had it in my head that there was nothing that could be done anyway - I had a screaming refluxy baby, so counselling was out (I was scared they'd make me leave him to go for it, I think?!), and I had the idea also that they'd try to put me on pills which I'd get hooked on and which would interfer with breastfeeding. No idea of any of that was accurate, but that was what was going through my head! I like your take on things that you just have to somwhow embrace and roll with the downs (if that's what you're saying?) Midivydale - no wonder what you've been through takes a lot of processing. And tying in rather clumsily with Sbot's point (it must be so hard to give up something you were so comitted to) and yours about things not going back to normal - one thing that I've found has really helped me is that I'm doing something totally different career-wise now to my pre-baby job. It helps the new normal be better, if that makes sense? (appreciate obviously things may be a lot more complicated for you, Sbot, as it's not an active choice you've made yourself?) In that my old life has gone, but I'm making positive choices about what I'm doing with my new life, and my family. It doesn't directly address the birth / early baby experience, but somehow makes the whole post-baby world better. I have no idea of that makes any sense...

Hmmm, mine's was often like that too...all the way through until he went on to solids. I remember reading that it could be an indication that he could be getting too much fore- rather than hind milk? - but who knows really! He also had reflux and was very grunty at night, just seeming very uncomfortable...not sure how helpful that is as a comment though? - but maybe worth reading up on reflux to see if that offers any clues??

Agree with Saffron and MothersInc - don't feel that you shouldn't be open (or as open as you're comfortable being) about these things - you should be proud of yourself that you've had the courage to post about it. So many people (including me) have / had a horrible time around birth / in the first year; let's not pretend it's all perfect and baby-moony!!

Hi Huguenot - absolutely, threads are not reserved for people who agree with me! On the thread I referred to, Londonmix repeatedly ignored the concrete fact that Simonethebeaver and I referred to, which underpinned and explained our point, in order to continue to make an alternative point. It seemed that a similar process was at work here, and that was what I was taking issue with. Of course we can all hold alternative views and ideologies; that's what makes discussion interesting. I'm not contesting that! But it's useful to differentiate between evidence, ideologies, and argumental strategies - especially when the issues being debated are so important.

Londonmix: I don't think that Saffron has been 'rude' or 'aggressive'; I think she has responded in frustration to your seemingly gratuitous tendency to hijack threads on important issues about which people feel strongly, and (again seemingly gratuitously) dogmatically to employ fallacies or repetitively to continue to state a position which ignores the actual evidence to which they explicitly refer: see e.g. http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,965498,980041#msg-980041 Why am I jumping in to your argument? Because I too have read the evidence and positions of informed people (see e.g. http://www.savelewishamhospital.com/specialists-say-no/), and I feel that you are undermining that evidence and those informed positions, and that your red herring ploy in undermining Saffron's position by inaccurately labelling her argument is worth noting.

Really sorry - all I can find is a note in the red book with an illegible signature...really hope you find someone helpful, and that things improve...

We saw a good paediatrician for relfux at Lewisham - will see if I have her name on record anywhere. Very much feel for you, too - it's horrendous. Can you kick up a fuss with the GP and insist on being referred? (- though I know it's hard to find the energy...) Good luck - will post the name of the doctor when I find it (hoping I've got it somewhere)...

Thanks, all, for your thoughts. Re 'do you think that you will have time, patience and energy enough to give each child the individual attention that each needs?' - yes, absolutely...one of my issues is trying to figure out my own (future) pschology and whether I'll be able to do that...I don't think it's fair to have children if you're not going to give them a good foundation (obviously a whole other debate to be had about what exactly that constitutes!)

Mrs TP - yes, there is something also in what you are saying for me - only the other day, I was talking to a friend with a tricky background about how we appreciate the fact that our siblings are there to understand what we grew up with. And GinaG3, I totally take your point: I am in a relatively luxurious and priviliged position to feel that I have a choice (though another scary thing about it all is that you don't know and can't guarentee how it'll go the second time). Ahrg - so much to consider and the biological clock ticking away...

Cross-posted with Saffron: yes, I've considered that side of things too, because while I get on with my sibling, my partner's are not great - as you say, you can't guarentee they're going to be good for one another!

Hmmm...that's the thing...from the wanting mine to have a sibling and the imagining us in 30 years time perspectives the answer's definitely 'yes.' But from the difficult-ish pregnancy and going back to sleepless nights etc perspective, it almost seems daft to do it to myself! Obviously it's true; this is a decision my partner and I have to make. But very helpful to the thought process to hear others' experiences and thinking...

Should you or shouldn't you?? Know this is a vastly oversimplified way of putting it - but would be very interested in hearing the experiences and opinions of those who have chosen to go on to have a second child, and those who have stopped at just the one...

That's interesting, mrs.lotte, that you don't feel hungry on the fast days - for me it was the opposite...think this indicates primarily that each of us individually just has to figure out what works, and that this is not universal - for me, the sustained intake of SB worked, and I felt good on it. I presume we all have different metabolisms, psychologies, etc (know a little about the latter but nothing of the former, so grasping here!) - so you have to find your own personal fit... What's also interesting to be about the fasting diet (as portrayed on Horizon) and SB is that they are both reasonably grounded in 'sensible' evidence and science (compared to some other diets), and that's one of the things that appealed me about both...

I thought it looked really workable, too - then tried it and found it impossible! Just the wrong psychology for me in practice, I guess. Had much more success with South Beach - it really works (no, no affiliation!), and (crucially, it seems, for me) you're really not hungry on it...

"Generally speaking individuals don't choose which A&E to use - unless they are "walking wounded" in which case there are, generally, not urgent." This is not true of babies and children, who are bought in to the nearest hospital / hospital it is quickest to reach by their walking parents / carers. Babies and children deteriorate rapidly and cannot properly articulate what their symptoms are - hence the need for them to be seen as quickly as possible by medical staff who are qualified to assess them. I believe the threatened closure will include the specialist children's A and E at Lewisham, and dread to think what the consequences of this may be.

Don't know if this is infeasible, but could your other half not do the co-sleeping (sometimes?) rather than you? And you sleep by yourself elsewhere? The reason I ask is that we've discovered that my OH can actually sleep with ours without it disturbing him too much; he's a much deeper sleeper than me. It felt very weird at first when he did this - but, pragmatically, it works when it has to, for now: he actually gets enough sleep that way to funtion perfectly well, so does our toddler, and so do I. It's better than hours of crying, trying to sneak out, etc, etc... Just a thought, just in case...maybe the change would even mean that yours wouldn't want his bottles, if he's associating being around you with getting them? Never know?!

Hi TE44 - That is ambiguous, isn't it? Currently only anonymised data is provided outside of DfE...but that quote does imply that non-anonymised data may be provided...but maybe it's just a misphrasing if not in the proposals themselves?? Or not??

Hi Leecass...I'd also recommend Trinity Tots on the South Circular if it's not too far out of your way (might be quite easy, depending whereabouts you are)...very friendly, inclusive, and welcoming, really nice non-cliquy atmosphere and mix of people...

The Telegraph story is unrelated to proposals for revised usage of the National Pupil Database (NPD). It's about a private company losing personal information (including individual identifiers) which was aparently provided by the parents. Information provided from the NPD is anonymised, so it's highly unlikely that a situation could arise where information linked to individual pupils could become public, whoever it was provided to. (Though you never know how things are going to be further revised and to slip...) There is a debate to be had around the proposed extension of access, however, I agree. Perhaps the idea underpinning the media having access is that more nuanced analysis could more easily be conducted for news stories? I'm more wary of the opening up to commercial companies...

I have some slightly out-of-date knowledge of employment law from a previous job, and think you are right to be wary, particularly of clauses 1 and 2. Because I'm out-of-date, and there have been recent changes, I won't comment explicitly - but think you should definitely check out the ACAS website http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1360 and phone their free helpline 08457 47 47 47 - they'll be able to advise you properly on each point and on related issues. They were very helpful to a friend recently, and in my experience are competent, qualified and knowledgeable - and, to reiterate, free! Would be really interested to hear what the outcome of this is. Good luck!

That is fantastic! Seven days is brilliant!

Hello Buttercup - on a more general note, I did what it sounds like you're doing: packed a massive bag (actually, two) with everything I could conceivably need...and used none of it! The food went uneaten, because I was too busy giving birth(!) The special towels I'd bought to wrap the baby in went unused, because the midwife wrapped him up in a big blanket once all the drama and medical bit was over, and that was fine. The books went unread, because I was too tired from labour and distracted by my baby! I think I felt when planning that I wanted to exert control; that if I didn't get everything you could ever possibly need ready, things were more likely to go 'wrong.' In the event things didn't go at all as planned, pretty much nothing from the bags was used, BUT: it was all fine. The hospital have the essentials and their job is to make sure you and the baby do as well as possible - and that's the important bit. So don't worry too much about controlling things and being organised (if you can help it!) - this is a totally abnormal and unique experience and you can't be organised about it to the same extent / in the same way as other aspects of your life. I hope that makes sense!

Yes, I interpretted that as optician / similar too! But thanks - think I should properly get checked out properly!