Bouncy

EJack - not sure if you were responding to me - but think if so we are at cross purposes! I was talking about the positive reviews - there is no way a lot of them are genuine! Any negative ones - maybe so...

Tom - our biggest issues were due to the central management / maintainance office. They made our life hellish. This wasn't down to "misunderstandings." I presume that they are beyond your control - whatever the truth of the remainder of your statements. Therefore I would still recommend strongly that people avoid renting throught Ludlow Thompson.

Mine wasn't up for it but really likes to be told stories...so what works okay-ish now is distracting him by telling one as we cut. Then it's almost a treat. Maybe try this or something similar that she likes, to distract (songs, books, TV...?)

Ah, I see, Saffron - sorry, somewhat misunderstood your original point! Yes, agree with you that it would be really unpleasant to go along and actively buy in to the whole premise of the thing to the couple's face then rubish it behind their back. Sounds like you have some interesting stories to tell there; I actually haven't really come across people doing that - just situations where there's a mutual understanding that we all have different beliefs / neutralities, but are putting them aside for the event and concentrating on the people at its centre...

"People who don't believe in church/christening/etc, but still attend others' ceremonies and fawn over the bride/children/etc while secretly thinking the whole thing is stupid. Why go at all?" - Because they are your friend, and that's how they chose to celebrate an important event that they've invited you to be part of, and you respect their choice and celebrate with them! Or that's my take on it, anyway. (Funny, while writing that, occurs to me that it could equally be applied to the no-kids weddings - which I also attend now mine is old enough to be left - on a similar basis really, I guess!)

There is no way those reviews are real! I love the little tricks they've used to try to make them seem authentic (providing detail, naming agents) - it's so false and obvious!

"at the end of the day it's up to the wedding couple so, in the spirit of non-crticisng parental skills, who is anyone to criticise who they want at their wedding??" - totally agree, not out to criticise, just interested in why people think in different way about this.

Zedd - there are some idiots out there, but it is their problem, not yours! As WorkingMummy says, you do get used to the odd person who seems to think they have the right to comment on your parenting / your child / your existence. I remember at first, in the midst of sleep-deprivation and new-mum-vulnerability, I'd be quite affected by it. But you do realise that the key issue is around the fact that they are so self-absorbed and egocentric that they feel entitled to make comments like this - and you can then shift the meaning of the encounter over to them rather than internalising it (if that makes any sense at all!)

I know this was several posts ago, but to pick up on the no-kids-at-weddings theme - what is the deal with that? I genuinely don't get it. If I was gettng married I would want the people who are important in my life, and that includes my friends' children - if the parents are people I'd want at my wedding, I'd want their children too, as they too are important to me, if that makes sense? (Possibly not at this time, should really go to bed!) Would really be interested to hear from people with different views...

I totally agree with Roz12. It is worth the hassle of giving up a flat you really want and looking for something else to avoid dealing with Ludlow Thompson. Their management / maintainance office people are horrendously rude and incompetent and having to deal with them is incredibly stressful. Our story of renting with them for three years is long and actually still quite painful to recount, but highlights include having no hot water for six weeks (and being asked by the person who eventually came and fixed it [after a nightmarish amount of wangling with the central office] why they had sent the original person who a number of weeks earlier had made it all worse, as '*John*'s not a plumber.' LT took money from us for extras (with the promise of refunds which never came); they refused to repair the broken lock on our door (which meant it had to be bolted from inside / left open); and a million other bigger and smaller things. In the end, my partner phoned the landlord, who said he had no idea any of this was going on, and said he'd move to another company to rent through after we left. We subsequently moved, and rented through a different company and then through a private landlord - and both were fine; it doesn't have to be like it was with Ludlow Thompson. I really recommend avoiding them.

Yes, not quite understanding what 'liberal single mindedness' is in this context! Also at a loss as to how calling someone 'a fool' is not contemptuous... Perhaps, to extrapolate from LondonMix's suggestion, it's all just internet-enabled nastiness purely for the sake of nastiness...

This happened to an older relative of mine when she was looking after my toddler in a park (in the Ladywell area). Seems like they are endemic throughout London. She did hand over some money - not because she is stupid, as some have suggested, but because she was confused and felt somewhat threatened. Let's blame the scammers, not the people they are scamming. Turn your contempt on the people who are intimidating pensioners and children, not those who are being intimidated.

Midivydale, do you mind if I ask - do you have to / want to go back to that particular job? Do you have any other options? x

WorkingMummy - I remember making up the right answers too! - because I had it in my head that there was nothing that could be done anyway - I had a screaming refluxy baby, so counselling was out (I was scared they'd make me leave him to go for it, I think?!), and I had the idea also that they'd try to put me on pills which I'd get hooked on and which would interfer with breastfeeding. No idea of any of that was accurate, but that was what was going through my head! I like your take on things that you just have to somwhow embrace and roll with the downs (if that's what you're saying?) Midivydale - no wonder what you've been through takes a lot of processing. And tying in rather clumsily with Sbot's point (it must be so hard to give up something you were so comitted to) and yours about things not going back to normal - one thing that I've found has really helped me is that I'm doing something totally different career-wise now to my pre-baby job. It helps the new normal be better, if that makes sense? (appreciate obviously things may be a lot more complicated for you, Sbot, as it's not an active choice you've made yourself?) In that my old life has gone, but I'm making positive choices about what I'm doing with my new life, and my family. It doesn't directly address the birth / early baby experience, but somehow makes the whole post-baby world better. I have no idea of that makes any sense...

Hmmm, mine's was often like that too...all the way through until he went on to solids. I remember reading that it could be an indication that he could be getting too much fore- rather than hind milk? - but who knows really! He also had reflux and was very grunty at night, just seeming very uncomfortable...not sure how helpful that is as a comment though? - but maybe worth reading up on reflux to see if that offers any clues??

Agree with Saffron and MothersInc - don't feel that you shouldn't be open (or as open as you're comfortable being) about these things - you should be proud of yourself that you've had the courage to post about it. So many people (including me) have / had a horrible time around birth / in the first year; let's not pretend it's all perfect and baby-moony!!

Hi Huguenot - absolutely, threads are not reserved for people who agree with me! On the thread I referred to, Londonmix repeatedly ignored the concrete fact that Simonethebeaver and I referred to, which underpinned and explained our point, in order to continue to make an alternative point. It seemed that a similar process was at work here, and that was what I was taking issue with. Of course we can all hold alternative views and ideologies; that's what makes discussion interesting. I'm not contesting that! But it's useful to differentiate between evidence, ideologies, and argumental strategies - especially when the issues being debated are so important.

Londonmix: I don't think that Saffron has been 'rude' or 'aggressive'; I think she has responded in frustration to your seemingly gratuitous tendency to hijack threads on important issues about which people feel strongly, and (again seemingly gratuitously) dogmatically to employ fallacies or repetitively to continue to state a position which ignores the actual evidence to which they explicitly refer: see e.g. http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,965498,980041#msg-980041 Why am I jumping in to your argument? Because I too have read the evidence and positions of informed people (see e.g. http://www.savelewishamhospital.com/specialists-say-no/), and I feel that you are undermining that evidence and those informed positions, and that your red herring ploy in undermining Saffron's position by inaccurately labelling her argument is worth noting.

Really sorry - all I can find is a note in the red book with an illegible signature...really hope you find someone helpful, and that things improve...

We saw a good paediatrician for relfux at Lewisham - will see if I have her name on record anywhere. Very much feel for you, too - it's horrendous. Can you kick up a fuss with the GP and insist on being referred? (- though I know it's hard to find the energy...) Good luck - will post the name of the doctor when I find it (hoping I've got it somewhere)...

Thanks, all, for your thoughts. Re 'do you think that you will have time, patience and energy enough to give each child the individual attention that each needs?' - yes, absolutely...one of my issues is trying to figure out my own (future) pschology and whether I'll be able to do that...I don't think it's fair to have children if you're not going to give them a good foundation (obviously a whole other debate to be had about what exactly that constitutes!)

Mrs TP - yes, there is something also in what you are saying for me - only the other day, I was talking to a friend with a tricky background about how we appreciate the fact that our siblings are there to understand what we grew up with. And GinaG3, I totally take your point: I am in a relatively luxurious and priviliged position to feel that I have a choice (though another scary thing about it all is that you don't know and can't guarentee how it'll go the second time). Ahrg - so much to consider and the biological clock ticking away...

Cross-posted with Saffron: yes, I've considered that side of things too, because while I get on with my sibling, my partner's are not great - as you say, you can't guarentee they're going to be good for one another!

Hmmm...that's the thing...from the wanting mine to have a sibling and the imagining us in 30 years time perspectives the answer's definitely 'yes.' But from the difficult-ish pregnancy and going back to sleepless nights etc perspective, it almost seems daft to do it to myself! Obviously it's true; this is a decision my partner and I have to make. But very helpful to the thought process to hear others' experiences and thinking...

Should you or shouldn't you?? Know this is a vastly oversimplified way of putting it - but would be very interested in hearing the experiences and opinions of those who have chosen to go on to have a second child, and those who have stopped at just the one...