chantelle

does St. John's even do nursery? I think not. The five days a week thing puts me off too, since we would like to keep our nanny full-time. Is it a big deal if they go straight into reception?

my son takes one look at peas and won't touch whatever it is. thank god for blenders to hide things in sauces!

wait - just because children go to private school means money is not an issue? maybe that is true for a minority of parents but i doubt it applies to most children at private school.

Their nanny probably doesn't start until school ends. It's pretty costly to have a full-time nanny for school age children who won't be around for most of the nanny's working hours. And it's all fine and well to say that work should be secondary to getting your children to school, but how does that work exactly if you have two employers offering little flexibility on hours?

-cheesy beans (reduced salt and sugar!) on toast -mackerel pate with pitta (takes moments to mash up smoked mackerel with cream cheese and lemon juice) -crumpets with peanut butter -pasta with cream cheese as above but with a bit of tomato puree for that tiny bit of veg - can also throw in a bit of chorizo or whatever else -couscous with whatever veg and cheese or meat you've got

i await news of a friday morning playgroup. Haven't been able to find one for my 2-year old either!

there's also a broader issue here of two parents needing to get to work, and finding it difficult to drop off and collect their children.

I don't think the parents are negligent or irresponsible, they have made a considered decision and clearly analysed the potential risks. I am shocked that Southwark won't let kids under 9 make their way home. I am also surprised how rampant this feeling is that "things are different" now. What is so different from 20 or 30 years ago? I played unsupervised on my bike from 6, and walked to and from the school bus from 5, with an older brother (8). Children can deal with unexpected situations - in fact, it is the only way to learn to cope when things don't go according to plan. The risks in this situation are minimal, IMO.

someone just round here ... wasn't rude though as far as i could tell ( hubby handled ). It's pretty late at night though - I wouldn't have answered the door myself.

Hi Clare, I started interviewing nannies in early July for a Sept. 1 start. I found lots of great candidates on simply childcare (you pay a small fee to search their ads and post your own) and ended up hiring the first one we met, who seemed perfect and has proven to be so. At the same time, I was talking to families about shares, and everything quickly fell into place. good luck!

yes I had a similar experience but it lasted about 8 months. I felt like I was just keeping my head above water to make it through each day and night, though was also incredibly happy to have had my son, which I'd thought impossible. Things got so much better once he was fully on solids (was still BFing 10 times a day at 6-7 months) and then again when he learnt to sleep through the night, around 11 months.

I transitioned out the day feeds in the month leading up to me returning to work (at 11 months) and just kept the waking and bedtime feeds. My son was very easygoing about it though. He was an avid BFer for the first 10 months or so but then didn't seem to miss it once it was phased out. Eventually I dropped the morning feed because he wasn't waking up before I went to work (another great side effect - his sleep improved immeasurably). We dropped the bedtime feed finally at 17 months. Good luck! Don't worry, they are very adaptable.

Ok, it's obviously a touchy subject, but I agree with EDZ about what is realistic. I suspect it is a very tiny minority of nanny employers indeed who pay ?12 or more, whether for a share or not. Even in a share, I am paying the bulk of my four day's gross pay to pay my nanny three day's net. As for what HeidiHi said, I agree that it is a lot of work. (nanny isn't here every day, after all, we do the job too!) But do you actually know any nannies getting ?12-?14/hour? We have one example here so far. Like EDZ, I came across quite a few nannies, with several year's experience, asking for ?9 net for a share. And, clearly, nannies are not just for the very rich -- and even for the fairly rich, a near-?50k salary is a significant outgoing against two earners' pay.

As I understand it, ?10 is about the upper limit in ED for an experienced, non-share nanny. It seems there isn't really an accepted "going rate" or ceiling for a share. Some nannies seem to feel the extra hassles that can go with a share mean they should get paid more, while others don't seem to see it as a clear cause for a higher wage. (this is based on mumsnet threads I've been on)

Bellenden was mentioned earlier - does anyone have first-hand experience of this school?

Hi, I'm on a fact finding mission about how much nanny shares are going for in the area. This is in advance of a pay negotiation in a few months with our much-loved nanny and I want to be fair but realistic. So - what is the hourly net rate your shared nanny earns? Many thanks!

i really don't care who tries on my ragged shoes - my nanny has her friends and their charges round often and at first I found it odd but now I see it as part of the fun and social life my son has while I'm out at work. If they want to snoop they won't find anything very interesting! I briefly tried nursery and a childminder before finding a wonderful nanny (share) that means my son is happy in his own home (it's based solely at ours) and has constant care and attention. As long as we can afford it, we would choose a nanny over any other option. I haven't found a lot of hidden costs - just the things mentioned above - tax, payroll (?100/year but you can do it yourself), kitty (?10-20 a week).

i don't think i had anything that serious but i had SPD and my abdominal muscles pulled apart (fairly common, apparently). It really did put a hamper on labour because i couldn't open my legs very wide or get into a "comfortable" position. Baby finally had to come via forceps ... That's probably not what you want to hear. Just be very careful, because you don't want to make the problem worse than it is with destructive movements in labour. (that you won't feel at the time, with other pains overriding them) best of luck.

Jumping on this discussion with my own question - can someone tell me how you go about applying to the state school nurseries? Any recommendations in the Bellenden Road area?? My son is nearly 2, I'm getting worried.

we used one of the amsafe harnesses on flights to/from Thailand but i can't say it was much of a hit with my son, then 17 months. Most of the time he was "on the loose." We borrowed the Amsafe so unfortunately I can't lend it to you. We also brought a copy of our correspondence with the airline about it, in case they asked. It was Thai Airways and they didn't actually have seat belt extensions at all - you were just supposed to hold the child.

i can also recommend the maclaren. (ours actually a Four Seasons, but it's basically a Techno XT with different covers) The recall was definitely a storm in a teacup - as with any moving hinge there is a tiny risk of injury. This applies to any umbrella buggy. Recall only means you can get a little pad or something to cover the hinge, it doesn't mean they actually take back the buggy. There isn't any buggy you could guarantee would make it onto a plane - unless it was within hand luggage size requirements, which sounds pretty impossible. I think any buggy can go to the gate though and they will either give it back at the aircraft door or in baggage, depending on the airline and their constraints at the time.

i love my maclaren four seasons (a limited edition version of techno xlr). We used it from birth and it has always been a breeze to use on public transport, etc. and to travel all over the world with us.

like many people, i think two is ideal. we started too late and had problems though so it's probably just the one for us. It doesn't really bother me though. One is a million times better than none if you are set on having kids and initially can't. My brother has five and that seems fun but nuts too. (and expensive) Maybe if I had full time help and cooperative fertility, three or four would be nice.

At that age, I think your best bet is to just briskly move them away from the situation when they are hitting another child, digging in the plant pots, that sort of thing. I found that if I said NO or made too much of a fuss about certain things, such as throwing food on the floor, my son would clearly do it on purpose, looking at me for my reaction. He's 20 months now and will still throw food sometimes and I just go right over and remove whatever is on his tray, without even saying anything. He has learned that means the meal is over. If your son grabs a dummy, I'd just take it away from him with no comment and then distract him if he gets upset. I agree it's important to teach things like danger and hot (he learned very early about hot, and shakes his hand like we do as a sign for it), but the naughty things are much tougher to deal with. I think you just have to be firm and calm and try not to react in a way that they will find interesting enough to want to get that reaction again. We usually say "unh unh" instead of no, so that he wouldn't just repeat no back to us in that annoying way toddlers have. His little nanny share mate says no all the time though so he has picked it up off him. For some reason it drives me crazy when he says - no no - to any question. Sometimes he means yes anyway!

places for all at quality nurseries and schools. just dreaming now ...