chantelle

sorry, no answer for you, but I'm thinking of taking my baby and 3.5 year old tomorrow so hopefully it won't be a disaster!

Just getting the flouride in is a big part of the benefit - if you can even get them to chew on their toothbrush and not rinse!

I think anyone interested in this topic should be sure to read Hanna Rosin's controversial Atlantic Monthly article - http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/7311/ if you haven't already. Also, 75% of women do initiate breastfeeding in this country, so it is "the norm." In London, 72% of women are still breastfeeding at their 6-8 week check. (DoH data) I think it's right for health authorities to promote and support breastfeeding. However I think the sense of bullying and guilt some women feel about it is an unwelcome byproduct. Babies' health can also be put at risk when health professionals are trained to support breastfeeding at all costs. So women don't want to be undermined and told to top up with bottles, but at the same time some babies may need additional milk to survive (my daughter seemed content with breastfeeding but lost 17% of her body weight in 10 days and had to be admitted to hospital.) I was a fervent breastfeeder with my son but in retrospect it was SUCH hard work, so physically painful for the first 10 weeks, so nerve wracking when he dropped down the centiles and cried all the time from hunger despite feeding every hour or two, and so difficult to do anything on my own since I couldn't be away from him for more than a couple of hours. I hung in there but it never really got easier until he was on solids and less reliant on milk. With my daughter, now 3.5 months, I mix feed so she is still getting 4 or 5 brief breastfeeds a day yet most of her calories come from formula. I don't feel guilty at all, this works for us and I am so much happier this time around, having just that much more freedom to do something like go to the cinema. Maybe biologically we are meant to breastfeed on demand, but we're also "meant" to have 10 or 12 children in our reproductive years and all sorts of other things.

It took me until 6 or 7 weeks to feel comfortable picking up my 3.5 year old. Around then was a real turning point for feeling back to normal and I started jogging and other exercise around then.

I find it hard to differentiate between demand and schedule. My son fed about every 3 hours, exclusively breast fed, and my daughter feeds more like every four hours on a mix of breast and formula. He would cry or fuss when he wanted it while my daughter rarely fusses, I just know about when she should be hungry. So is that scheduled? Strange research to get your head round in any case.

Ok Otta, maybe I should just ignore what I dont agree with. But on your earlier point re nannying vs parenting - a nanny helps you raise a child, it's really the same thing IMO.

Yes that is the one we have too. I think they can stop using the guard thing at 16kg but my 3.5 year old is still happy to use it and never resisted it.

Ok, enjoy the one way cat fight then. But I should think a woman who has helped so many families might have also picked up a trick or two about new parents' relationships and well being.

The Kiddy brand ia great and they have a model that is stage 2 up to age 12. We love ours and they get great safety ratings.

I don't feel guilty at all and would bristle at the idea I should. I have a great work/family balance and a wonderful nanny who is much better than me at amusing and stimulating my children. I love my work and I love being a mum, and wouldn't want either to the exclusion of the other. I treasure watching my children grow up but it doesn't upset me not to be with them 24/7. I understand that many people feel differently though.

The GF bashing here is really offensive and I am not even an advocate or follower of her methods. Nannies can be very smart and insightful people so I never would dismiss their input. Our own has more than 30 years experience, and she also does maternity nursing with dozens of written recommendations from mums she helped. She is a mum of one too but it is her nanny experience that matters to me, and should matter when talking about GF. Some of the comments here about not having sex just underline what GF is getting at - that some women avoid it and potentially harm their relationships, not because husbands are gagging for it necessarily but because intimacy is crucial to most healthy relationships.

Wow, my son is 3.5 and starting school in September and only knows a couple of letters reliably. Not sure there is any need though, at least one school specifically said they don't want or expect it.

my son watched only the odd half hour or two until he was 3 (and I was pregnant with number two) - since then he's been a bit more obsessed, Octonauts is his favourite and he's seen every episode several times, on tv and online. He has also watched his new Peter Pan DVD three times this week I think. We have lots of tv-free days though, and he will turn it off himself after awhile, so I don't really worry much.

people give her such a hard time but her advice works for a lot of people. And that's all it is - advice. No one has to follow it. I think the idea of resuming intimacy with your partner (within a month or two) is not crazy and shouldn't be scoffed at.

Editing my post because I don't think it was very helpful or relevant ... do give it a try to feed when out and about, it just takes a little practice and a scarf draped wherever needed can help with any feelings of exposure.

two salads i made last week that are a bit out of the ordinary: smoked mackerel, beetroot, toasted pumpkin seeds, green lentils feta, walnuts, spinach, roast butternut squash, coriander i tend to overdose on eggs when low-carbing.

I wouldn't dismiss a nanny or nanny share out of hand. Some (qualified) nannies work for less than ?10/hour, while many nanny shares are paying less than ?12/hour. I'm not saying it isn't valuable work and that nannies don't deserve a fair wage but that's the reality. I'm also not sure that a family with two children typically pays two-thirds of the cost. Presumably one of your children will be eligible for free nursery education at some stage and then off to school before you know it. Finally, ?1550 a month must be around the cost for two in nursery/childminder anyway? Shares mean you don't get certain benefits of a nanny though, like I would never expect our nanny to do laundry and she doesn't do a lot of meal preparation either. (we leave/other family brings food.) But as ours has always been based at our house, we don't have to do drop offs or pick ups which is wonderful. You also get more flexibility with a nanny if you must be late, or if your child is sick. However, I've never heard of a nanny share that involved any bathing! Good luck.

milkshakes?

loving the sarahditum take on it. scarily accurate.

The mum book was awful and the divorce book looks even worse. I wish I had never read the mum one - it caused me much unnecessary angst at 24 weeks pregnant.

Agree that not judging and not worrying about others' judgements is great advice.

Always have an extra change of baby clothes for unexpected poo-namis. Natural birth and breast are best but the elective c section and formula mums almost certainly are having an easier ride. (my experience second time around.)

Fairlawn catchment is tiny too though - you pretty much have to be on the hill and there aren't exactly a lot of cheap houses going there. Stillness is an outstanding school on the other side of the hill in Honor Oak Park, where you definitely get a lot more for your money.

i agree it's probably not cause for worry. but at some stage he should follow the trajectory of a centile band. Obviously not good if he keeps dropping down off the charts. My son was born 50th centile and ended up following the 9th centile band until he was on solids and put on a bit more weight. now he's 3.5 and totally normal sized.

Hi, I had one. I was worried too about recovery but it really wasn't bad at all. I had my mother in law come to help the next day so I could rest but other than that was just a bit sore for a few days. The pain was pretty minor in my experience. I had mine before I was back at work but don't think would have needed more than a day or two. Good luck - it was a total success for me