The Nappy Lady

OK, so I did a quick Google for ideas, but I reckon it has got to be home made - otherwise its just not right....innit?! I think there will be about 25 angels anyway, and they will all look lovely, whatever they are wearing! Molly

Picked my eldest up from school and was presented with a note telling me I need to organise an angel costume for her to wear in the school nativity...suddenly I am having massive flashbacks to my childhood and remember my Mum doing this for me. Can't believe I'm the Mummy now! Anyone else got their first nativity coming up? Will there be a dry eye in the house? Molly

Hi Claire, Not sure, but what the heck - come anyway, if we're not preggers now we've all been there and so you'll get plenty of support/envious comments etc. I suspect those of us who have said we are coming are not generally reading this thread any more, which may be why you've not had a reply up to now. Molly x

I've always used a childminder - nursery was pretty much ruled out as they are just so expensive, but also I am not keen on nurseries for under 3's. In any case I was lucky in that I knew of an existing childminder via two neighbours, both of whom had used her with their children (one of which was by then 21!) so I approached her as soon as I was pregnant. I love the 'home from home' feel, it is as close as I can get to having my children looked after by a family member. I have known this lady for over 7 years now and feel very close to her. Both girls quickly built up strong relationships with her and are very happy there. When my eldest had chicken pox she could still go there as the other children there with her had already had it and passed it to her...typically my daughter wasn't poorly with it, just spotty so it wasn't a problem and I felt happy to leave her, and relieved that I didn't have to take 2 weeks off work. When teething or off colour generally my childminder has always been so lovely with them - happy to carry them around on her hip all day etc. if that is what they need. My eldest now 'begs' to go there for the day when it is school holidays she likes it there so much, which is the best endorsement I could want as a Mum. I think if you can find the right childminder it is fantastic, but of course as you say, it's the finding that is tricky. I was terrified my 2nd wouldn't get a place but in the end it all worked out as she was ready to start just as my older child started school, effectively freeing up a place for her....phew. Good luck with the hunt/decision making. Molly

Crystal7, would Childminder let you buy a box of weetabix and small milk each week to keep there? Seems much easier, not heard of one not providing meals before. When I was full time in the city my eldest always got up at 7 and has juice then to childminders at 8 where she had breakfast. Made the morning timing possible, otherwise no way. Dreading the return to work is totally normal I think, but much easier once you are there. Good luck x

EDMummy - phew!! We've had the odd morning where O has gone into the baby's room and entertained her while we lay in bed next door listening to the giggles - hope it bodes well for the future! I think personalities play a huge role in how siblings get along, more than age gap, and also suspect same sex can (but not always of course). Think if girl is the older they often want to nurture which can help but the flip side of that is that I have spent the last 14 months having to 'teach' my eldest what she is, and is not capable of! Broodiness....I've had it since about the age of 15, no sign of it going yet. Why do you think I do nappy demos? It's just an excuse to cuddle newborns! Oh no, now I sound like a nutter!!! Molly

Smiler, just want to give you a hug.....not sure if you ever saw my long post on the recurrent miscarriage thread, but been there...and know only too well all the emotions you are feeling. Not to hijack this thread, but just had to say that first. I really hope things work out for you as they did for me in the end. xx So - with my two, despite intending to have 2 close together, after the miscarriages and the ectopic I ended up with a 4 and a quarter year age gap and actually it has turned out to work very well. The only down side, is going back to all the baby stuff everywhere I suppose (but not complaining about it). My older child was old enough to cope well with her sister's arrival...actually dotes on her and has done all along. There is the odd moment of jealously, but she is able to articulate it which makes a huge difference as we can discuss it - we also have masses of video footage of her as a baby so she can see that we did all the stuff for her that we now have to do for baby C, and can point out she didn't have to share us with anyone (highly recommended as a way of getting them to understand)! What's nice is that (as others have said) I have been able to enjoy each baby individually - O was at school by the time C came along, so I had lazy days cuddling and breastfeeding, or now hanging out at baby groups, without O there getting bored potentially. At home C thinks her sister is the best thing since sliced bread and aspired to be her in every way! Hence she's been super fast to sit up, crawl, walk etc. I guess so it will go on (eek). It is scary to realise that by the time C is 5 we will have had 10 YEARS of 'this' - eek, but then again by the time C is 5 big sister will be 10 so hopefully I can bribe her to get up with her sister at weekends etc so we can have the odd lie in!! (Does that make me a bad Mummy????)! Molly

Ah come on girl, I reckon you'll need a stiff drink more than any of us...I'll carry you home if you flake early!!!!!!

Oh yes please, the more publicity the better. :))

OK you lot...here's some afternoon entertainment for you on a dark winter's evening! This Thursday, 3rd December why not come along to the Ivydale School Christmas Fayre in Nunhead. It's a very lively affair, there's some fun stuff for the children to do, and a raffle with some really fab prizes (always an amazing hamper of food etc. as one of the top prizes) and traditional stuff like guess the weight of the cake etc. All proceeds go to the school for new equipment so it is a good cause, and if you are thinking about possibly sending your children there it is a great way to get a feel for the school and have a sneaky look around! Hope to see some of you there - say hello if you spot me! I'll be the harrassed looking one trying to keep track of the 14 month old who will no doubt be trying to run around at ground level when it is really much too busy to do that, and consequently risking life and limb as a result! Molly

Put on the main for sale page, but suddenly thought it would be perfect for a teenager, so popping on here too; Rayleigh AT10 2009 Women's Mountain Bike, 17" Frame, exactly like this one; [www.evanscycles.com] Bought for me as a surprise gift by my hubby, but due to lower back problem I need a 'sit up and beg' style bike rather than a mountain bike (you may be able to imagine the discussion we had after I was presented with the surprise...bearing in mind I've been raving about Pashley style bikes with baskets on front etc. for weeks now!!). Ahem...anyway...it has only been ridden twice, very light work around the park so still looks absolutely brand new. Would make a fantastic Christmas present. Also included in the sale a Bell Crash Helmet, Silver with pink flower and humming bird motif on one side. Size Large 58-63cm (a little too big for me) - hence the sale (it came with the bike!). See this picture; (go down towards the bottom of the page and you will see it about 3/4s of the way down).... [cgi.ebay.co.uk] Have pictures of the actual bike which I can email to you if you want to seem them, or you can pop around to view - we are in Nunhead. It really is in brand new conditon, but I have taken close up shots of gears etc. should they be required. It is currently sitting in my kitchen in need of a loving home! On the Evans site it is ?219.99, would like ?170 o.n.o. please (including helmet). Molly

Moos, please don't be....I think your perspective is really valuable, and no one is saying working full time is wrong.... Molly x

Yes Standswithfist, that's right....

Hiya, I always swore I wanted to be a 100% full time stay at home Mum, and broke my heart when I left O with a childminder at 9 months because I HAD to go back to work full time, 5 days per week. That was hard, and although it go easier I never really re-engaged, just learnt to deal with it. Dropping her off at 8am, catching the 8.14am train, leaving work at 5.15pm to run for the 5.35pm train to collect her before 6pm....it just felt like such pressure - though once on the train having time to read a book was wonderful and amazing I must admit. When I was finally in a position to change things and go part time it was a dream come true, and has continued to be. Yes, we are not so well off now, but I find working 2 to 3 days and having 4 days to be a Mum is just perfect for me. I have HUGE respect for all the full time Mum's out there, I think it is the hardest job in the world. Having those two days a week when I can really focus on something and get it done feels very, very good, and I enjoy my time with the girls much more as a result. What I would say is this - it is easier to go back part time now and leave if you hate it, than it is going to be to not return at all, then decide you want and need to work part time later...if that makes sense. It is hard to leave them at first, I can't deny that, but if you can arrange a part time deal that you feel happy with I'd say that is probably the perfect compromise, and you may find (as I did) that you feel like you can be a better Mummy when you are with him because you have the time apart. I agree with Pickle, the years do fly by, so taking some time out to be with them while they are little is worth its weight in gold. There is so much more I have experienced with C that I really feel I missed with O, I can't deny it, being away from her 5 days a week for most of the day was just too much. With C I notice much more of the day to day, little developments. Such a hard decision to make.......hope the assorted replies help with your decision making process. Molly x

Fab 12th at the Mag in my diary, I can be there about 8ish. Should we book a table? Anyone able to pop in to sort? Molly

Legs fit fine - there is a bit that folds out to help make the seat more level (because of seat sloping backwards), which also spaces it away from the backrest. As they get bigger they just bend knees up, but it doesn't seem to bother them - you know how kids can sit in positions we 'oldies' can only dream of. C seems fine with it so far, though early days...I admit that it probably helps having her sister next to her forward facing - so they are effectively facing each other making it ideal for 'chatting' and entertainment. Also, the seat is higher than the baby seat so she can see out of windows etc. Will show you when we meet up. To be honest I think the car rage thing is down to age, not which way they are facing (hard to believe at the moment I know). As soon as O was old enough to start to chat to me, sing along to music tapes or listen to story tapes etc. the crying in the car thing went away overnight. All you can do is tough it out, I reckon it is one of the WORST parts of parenting without a doubt. I well remember my first drive back from East Dulwich with week old O screaming in back...thought I'd never be able to go anywhere in the car ever again. Was a sweating, nervous wreck by the time I got home. These days I don't really even notice when C cries in the car, have developed that amazing parental ability to 'tune out' when I absolutely have to (most of the time!). M x

10 months - classic age...and if his christening then a lot going on I imagine and more people than normal around wanting cuddles etc. I expect it has just brought it all to a head. Typical though eh?! Pickle - Baby C has just started to 'refuse' me the odd kiss request now and then....sob how can it all happen so soon? Love the image of your little girl yelling byeeeeee as she goes! Molly

How old is he Belle? Hard to predict how long it will last, but the most important thing to remember is the last bit of your post - "if I leave the room or am out of sight he's fine"....try not to get stressed or worried about it, and def. not embarrassed - just shrug it off to others - he's in that phase, they all have to go through it at some point. I don't honestly think you can do much to make it better, or pass faster, just carry on as normal. It may be that he's just feeling a bit 'off' - teething, or a cold etc. and that he will be back to normal in a day or two, or it may be a phase that is going to last longer. If the latter he just needs to learn that you go away, but also come back......someone once said to me it is the sign of a good parent which at least puts a nicer slant on what is quite a hard time. I find baby C (14 months) quite confident and outgoing generally, but when tired or poorly she's very clingy. When at childminders she sometimes crys when I leave, but is fine without about half a minute of me being gone out the door. I reckon she breastfeeds to keep me there when I'm dropping her off too - clever little madam! Hope this helps a bit. Molly x

Hi all, Well, I went and got one of the rear facing car seats today for baby C, who is now 14 months old. I went to a place called Babycare in Petts Wood (took half an hour to drive there, very easy drive). I found them via the rearfacing.co.uk website and can highly recommend them. They were really helpful - had several seats to choose from, depending whether you have Isofix or not, and made an appointment for me to come and be 'fitted' etc. It took about an hour from arrival to discuss, choose and fit the seat, and the man even said I could go back and he would fit it again for me if we get a new car, or when ready to move her to forward facing which I thought was fantastic service. It isn't that hard to fit, but more steps than a normal forward facing car seat, and he has been trained (twice actually!!) in fitting them, so reassuring - the seat is rock solid, can't move it at all! It fits with the normal 3 point seat belt (in a very clever way so not in the way when putting child in and out at all), plus two tethers that go to the front seat, plus a leg that goes down to the footwell. You do need help and advice when choosing because not all seats fit all cars and you do need more distance between back seat and front seats than with forward facing seats. The staff at the shop are very knowledgeable though, so it makes choosing a lot easier than I expected. I went for the Britax Multi-tech, which is a stage 1 and 2 seat and fits from approx 9 months to 6 years (and she could probably stay in it rear facing until about 5 years if I wanted to, though can turn sooner of course...the choice is now mine), it was ?250 which I think is good value, given it will last her for so long. Some of the family are giving her money towards the seat for Christmas, which seems more sensible than loads more toys and clothes - neither of which she is short of, though admitedly they are all hand me downs (she's too young to know)! It looks really comfortable, and so far no complaints from her. Anyway, I will let you know how I get on with it. I do feel relieved to have it. I reckon if you haven't already invested in a forward facing seat it is def. worth investigating this option. Baby C was in her big sister's hand-me-down car seat, and at 5 years old I felt it probably should be replaced anyway. If you want to contact Babycare their details are; 25 Station Square, Petts Wood, ORPINGTON (Nr. Bromley) Kent, BR5 1LZ Telephone 01689 896665 or Telephone FREEPHONE 0500 300 907 Molly x

jacks, I have seen a Mum with Weeride and Humax taking her boys to nursery but have to say I'd be terrified - seems like a lot of weight to balance. You can get a 'trailer' type thing that is like half a bike, that attaches to the back of your bike for the toddler to ride (i.e. no front wheel), but maybe he/she is too young for that? I imagine only really suitable for 3+ at the youngest. Can't think of anything else, unless you go down the rickshaw route??!!! Molly

Tee Hee. My 5 year old's default position tends to be that she doesn't like whatever I am cooking.... I find quite often if I reply "Yes you do, you ate this the before and loved it silly", she then goes...."oh yes, silly me!" It doesn't work every time of course, but still....quite good reverse psychology.....school dinners have also really helped with getting her to try stuff, and of course exposure to different types of food. Slightly better day with baby C today....small bowl of porridge, 5 spoons of casserole for lunch, a bit of brioche mid afternoon and later a lump of cheese (she will ALWAYS eat cheese), and then another 8 spoons or so of casserole for dinner. She was eating more than that for breakfast a couple of weeks ago! EmmaCC I think it is so much easier to be more relaxed about it 2nd time around...my instincts this time tell me that she isn't going to starve herself, and may simply not feel like eating if off colour, teething etc. so at least I don't worry quite so much..... But have to admit I too get cross sometimes when they don't eat (but never let them know it pushes your buttons or they will use it against you one day - trust me!!). Best advice I was ever given for 2 year old plus is give a set amount of time and then if they haven't eaten just take it away (calmly) and don't offer anything else until the next meal time. Tough love! Different with babies though. Glad you were able to see the funny side later - good for the soul. Must feel like sweet revenge for our parents when they see us agonising over all the same stuff we once put them through! I am always convinced every one elses children eat better than mine, but I think they all play up at times, keep telling myself that anyway. Molly

Hmm yes, been there got that tshirt. Her recipes are great but she must have more time on her hands than most of us Mums! X

The littlest Dilnot has a tummy bug this week :'( almost exclusively breastfeeding...just doesn't want to eat 'proper food' other than the odd raisen & blueberry (that was breakfast) and maybe a bit of cheese. It doesn't get any easier....sigh....

We have chickens at Ivydale Nursey! Five I think......it's Nunhead tho so not sure we count! Molly

Agree with Karen - a friend got a support belt and it made a huge difference. Good luck - hope it gets better xx