The Nappy Lady

Sillywoman, I thought Becky was amazing, don't know her, but she played the role really well. In the last year or two I have tried to think of a way to train as a midwife, but like you, with the children it just isn't possible right now to commit the time or energy to it, not to mention trying to do night shifts and things with my hubby's job and no family near by. I feel frustrated, but after watching the programme also just a little bit relieved to have a valid excuse as it looks mega scary during the training process! I'm a wimp, I admit it. I look back to when I was living at home in my early 20's with parents who would have been 100% supportive of any choice of career and wish I could go back and shake myself. Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh?! Molly

Hi there, I think you have to do it as an entirely new account, can't quite remember, but isn't it a different website you are logging on to - Southwark for Southwark School and Lewisham for Lewisham Schools? System may have changed of course since I did it. Molly

I finally managed to watch this tonight, having recorded it. It was just amazing. I've always harboured a secret regret that I didn't train as a midwife, but I am so blown away by what they do, I can't imagine actually doing such an amazing job myself. I guess I should have trained when I was young enough to be over confident in that respect. I worry now that having had 2 very easy births myself (lucky cow I know) that I might not cope with the reality of the more difficult births. I have such huge respect for the job midwives do, they are amazing women. I totally related to what Amanda said about 'women together making it happen' and how glad she is to be female, I think all of us who have given birth are amazing (however it ends up happening)! The other problem is that I cry every time I see a baby born on TV, I am totally hopeless. I wonder how many births I'd have to be at before that would stop happening (even if once I was out of the room like Amanda)? Did anyone else think the baby boy at the end looked quite big? Would have been nice to know what he weighed in at. I too was amazed to see the effects of the Ventouse, I knew it leaves bruising etc. but didn't realise quite how aggressive it is immediately afterwards, poor little thing. So glad he was OK. I really envy Amanda Holden getting to have this experience. Molly

I think some are against the 'no pants' at home thing because it can then be hard to get them dry in pants/clothes. However, we went pants free at home (at that age it was hard to keep pants on my daughter, plus it was Spring/Summer!!!), and it didn't cause us any problems. Good luck, hope it goes well. Molly

Every child is different as others have said, but the key to potty training is that the child has to have made 3 connections/abilities: 1. Understanding/recognising the feeling of a full bladder (or need to poo) and being physically capable of holding/releasing the bladder on demand. 2. Recognising this as a prompt to go and sit on a potty/toilet 3. Recognising/understand the feeling of passing urine (or poo) and the resulting wetness, or worse(!) either in their pants (hopefully not) or what they see in the potty as the result of the previous 2 points! If you try to potty train too soon they are simply not physically capable of point 1 (small babies wee little and often, toddlers start to do what you could call 'power wees' - basically doing what we do - holding the wee 'til the bladder is full, then releasing in one big stream. You may particularly notice this if your toddler gets up in the morning, has a lot to drink and then you have to change their nappy very soon because it fills up much quicker than nappies during the rest of the day. Points 1 and 3 are often delayed these days due to the fact that disposables keep children so dry, that they just don't feel wet, and therefore take longer to make the necessary connections. It is totally logical if you think about it. That is why some (but not all) children in cloth nappies potty train earlier. Whilst on this subject, don't be under pressure from parents, in-laws or grandma's about when you potty train - in the past cloth was of course more common, and back then Mum's were more often at home with baby full time so were able to spend much more time with them focussing on potty training, and keen to not be washing nappies for longer than they had to (it was much harder work back then with twin tubs etc), so potty training was generally done earlier. My Mum says in her day you would be looked down upon by other Mum's if your child was in nappies beyond 2, so a lot of them can't help how they are, they are just a result of their generation! You can help a child in disposables to start to make the connections (if you feel they are ready) by putting a folded flannel inside their nappy so they feel the wetness more. Some children just cannot be bothered to potty train, they totally get it, but will resist no matter what bribes you try - I know a Mum with 3 children, the first 2 were out of nappies at 2, the 3rd child took another year-and-a-bit, one day she'd be dry, the next she'd be wet again - pure a simply a case of her knowing, but not caring about being clean - nightmare! She would tell her Mum "I can't be bothered to use the toilet Mummy!" My first daughter was pretty reliably potty trained at 20 months, in that she would be at home/childminders without a nappy on much of the time and would use a potty, but I was not ready at all! The thought of going out without a nappy on in the car, or in the queue at Sainsbury's etc is scary! But at 25 months old we went on holiday and she was 100% out of nappies by day in 2 days, as easy at that - I was amazed, but if they are ready it really is that easy. However, she was (and still is) a very heavy sleeper so getting her out of night nappies took another 18 months! Both my Mum and my MIL were convinced they could get her dry at night, but no one managed it, it just happened slowly, when the time was right for her. I have no idea how it will go with our 2nd, but I'm hoping that by this time next year, when she will be just over 2 she will be done with nappies.....we shall see! As a starting point I would have a potty in the bathroom (from around 18 months old) and encourage your child to sit on it (even with nappy and even clothes on) whilst you use the toilet - and also, grim as it is - talk about why you are using the toilet, what you are doing on it - even show them. Remember children learn by copying, and generally want to please you/make you happy. Give them lots of praise any time they sit on the potty, and at bath time if they are toddling around naked and sit on it, maybe even do something in it, even more so, go wild, act like it is the most amazing thing they have ever done! I think that once they start to see you getting all excited about them using the potty there is a good chance they will want to do it again. Then you've already laid some groundwork for when you finally decide to 'go for it' Hope this helps. Molly

I reckon it's a good plan to have something planned for your due date, otherwise it is the worst day in the world if you spend it still preggers and feeling fed up...but even so, reckon this is taking it to another level.....tee hee!! Good for you Iain, as Pickle says, a very exciting few weeks ahead of you. Molly x

The stockings are filled and we are off to hit the sack...fingers crossed all our babies are kind to us tonight and decide to sleep through 'til morning. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. Molly x

So pleased, Mum enjoyed making them for you. Xx

You do get used to them (sort of)...hang in there, everything feels hard in the first few days.... HUGE contratulations. xxx

Thanks all - will listen to the Radio 4 programme. My arm was v sore for 2 days afterwards, I couldn't sleep on it, and it is a concern as the last thing I want is them being up in the night. M

Yes - that's what is making me hesitate - we had quite a few confirmed swine flu cases at school over the summer and I don't honestly know whether we had it or not (I think all we had were very bad colds, but I did have a slight temperature on and off so who knows, maybe they did too). BUT.....I know a while back some people posted on here to say their little ones were quite poorly with the Swine Flu and the Tami Flu really wasn't nice (had funny side effects), so it is hard to know what to do for the best. Hey ho. Will keep deliberating. Thanks for the posts. Molly

Ah, what a nice story - hope she made it to hospital before baby arrived, sounds like it would have been a pretty close thing.

Yep, I don't get it either. It is why I always try to tell my very positive birth stories - this is what women need to hear...not the bad stuff. By all means compare battle scars after the event, but not when someone is pregnant and facing it all, especially for the first time. WHY, WHY, WHY??????

My eldest had so little hair as a baby that she didn't need her first haircut until well after she turned 3. As a result it was all a big adventure - she wanted to 'have her hair done like Mummy' so thankfully no trauma at all. Phew. No idea if girls are generally easier, or if leaving it later was the key, but very glad not to have had to have the battles - which sound horrible for all involved. My 2nd has hair...already, at 14 months, so maybe we'll have to brave a cut sooner...will do my best to avoid it tough! Molly

Welcome to the world baby phillyboy, and congratulations and well done Mum and Dad! So pleased for you - what an excellent Christmas Present :)) Enjoy your babymoon. Molly x

Very good reason to come out if you ask me (if baby hasn't arrived that is!).....those last days d r a gggggg by believe me! Molly x

Good luck Ian - home birth is just the best if it does work out - you can't beat tea and toast in bed an hour or so after giving birth, with baby tucked up between you.....must stop or I'll be broody again! Yes - you can always change your mind and go into hospital if you feel the need, but you can't change your mind the other way around, so I reckon it is well worth at least booking for the home birth for that reason alone. Really excited for you as not long to go now..... Molly

Good luck Ian - home birth is just the best if it does work out - you can't beat tea and toast in bed an hour or so after giving birth, with baby tucked up between you.....must stop or I'll be broody again! Really excited for you as not long to go now..... Molly

For my two girls (5 and 14 months)....not sure what to do.....I've had it and it was fine, so am leaning towards getting in done, but wondered what others have done about it? Molly

Hmmm, it could go either way I reckon....but if in doubt, if he sleeps make sure you do too!!!! Yes, will miss you lots, in between the mulled wine, mince pies and Snowballs (hey it's that time of year don't you know)....hic..... Molly xx

Happy holiday's Snowboarder and mini Snowboarder.....will miss you on the forum...assuming you can resist checking it whilst away......snigger.... Molly

Hi guys, Arrgghh, not sure I will make this one as it is hubby's birthday on the 7th...will have to see how things pan out....... Was all set to start ordering T Shirts as well ;-) Molly

Good point about clothes, I found it nigh on impossible to shop for clothes with a baby in tow, and you tend to reach crises point a few weeks/months after the birth were a lot of the maternity stuff is HUGE, but normal clothes still don't fit right, or are not suitable for breast feeding in. In the end I managed to persuade a pal to go along with me and they were able to keep baby happy while I had a big trying on session. We only went to Peckham, but it felt like a HUGE treat. I found quite a few 'crossover' style tops that worked OK for breastfeeding, and had gathers across the tummy area to hide the post baby wobbly bits! Having a few clothes I felt good in made a world of difference, so maybe the offer of a shopping trip - either without baby if you are able to do bottles, or tagging along to keep baby happy while she shops would be a nice thing too? Molly

Oh, and just to say, I bought my hubby a TAG watch for the first Christmas after our first was born, as a thank you for all he had done....don't think it should only work one way, though now I'm pretty much a full time Mum I don't have the money for those kinds of treats, poor chap!! Molly

I had a girls name picked out for years (weirdo I know), thankfully hubby liked it too, so first daughter's name was set in stone from the 23 week scan when we knew she was a she.....but we had a nickname for her, which we still use even now, 5 years on.... 2nd time around we went all around the houses to agree on a name, and found boys names much harder than girls. Thankfully we had another girl so wasn't too hard to agree on something in the end, though she too has a nickname we use just as much as her 'real' name. I must admit I got out voted on the name I really wanted, and will always be a little bit sad about that - I have a secret campaign to instill the name in her so if she ever needs to adopt a 'professional' name - as when registering with Equity or something she might decide to use it! Her dad would kill me! A slight tangent, but connected.....I don't think there is any right or wrong with the telling / not telling argument, reckon it just comes down to each individual couple to do what is right for them. We were always pretty open about pregnancies, and name discussions, what sex baby we were having etc. and it was always fine. The pregnancies I lost were early enough for us not to have got to the naming stage so I never had that dilemma. Friends and family knowing we'd lost a baby was, for us, helpful because frankly I needed the love and support they could offer. If we'd been trying to keep it secret people would have wondered what was wrong, and maybe misunderstood our behaviour. But....for others I can understand secrecy is the easier route. Molly