Thanks everyone! I am finding this all much more amusing today and feeel much less traumatised from my run-in with the doorstep pooper. The funniest thing was having to close my front door again while he finished! It was either that or step over him... no thanks! Anyway, the shop across the road caught him on their CCTV - he was in there minutes before trying to buy booze but they refused to serve him so early in the morning (the bowel movement took place around 7.50-8.00am)