jennyh

Hi everyone! Well im still trying but have had back to back mastitis in both breasts and onto my second round of antibiotics but it's just agony and my nipples are red raw from the pump. Sadly my milk supply has really taken a hit as a result despite painfully trying to pump every 3 hours, just nothing coming out. As I expected it's getting harder as she is being more demanding on my time and also needs so much more milk. I fear I may fail to carry on much longer  but ive done nt best and im ok with that. Ive done a few public bottle feeds abd feeling bit more confident! Thank you so much for asking!! X

It's interesting because it's clearly such a strong issue and dependent on your experiences on those early days really shapes your views. I would still love to breastfeed and absolutely acknowledge all the be edits, I wish I'd had the early support but equally due ro nt circumstances ive had to move on and instead see the value in what i am doing for her, with all your help!!! It def isn't an anti breastfeeding issue but rather about how women are conditioned to feel which is due to lots of things, the need to provide, to nurture and bond plus the health benefits of breastmilk. I just think that women are pretty amazing and having seen/felt my body grow a baby and trust it to go through labour and come out the other side...I sometimes stop and feel a sense of pride and we all should!!  Everyone on this thread loves their children and wants the best for them and acknowledges that the best may not follow the supposed ideal but as I'm being told, the important thing is being happy and healthy whether breastfeeding or not! Really you can tell how much better you have all made me feel!!!!!  Jennyx

It sounds like everyone has had such difficult experiences with something purported to be so natural! I have it ib very good authority that a documentary has been made that illustrates there us no proof that breastfed babies are any less healthy than formula fed but that the NHS have paid a massive amount of money to stop it airing because of the damage to their expensive breast is best campaign. I wonder how many women would be saved from depression and post birth stresses if there was more openness and honesty. I feel Luke going out onto lordship lane with a sandwich board sticking up for us all! Once again you have all been my saviors and helped me hold my head high. In other news my little girl has put on good weight and is now fitting some if her bigger clothes! She has no more jaundice and is a perfect peachy pink. I'm off to pump again to make enough for half a feed! Keep going everyone and good luck to all the new arrivals! X

Thank you! Again! I honestly can't say how much better it feels. I always knew I wasn't the only one but for people to confirm the fact is hugely reassuring. I think I have reached my limit and all things considered breastfeeding just isn't the option for us. I am besotted with her and want to pour my efforts into caring for her, not struggling unhappy, overly tired and self-critical. I just need to get to a point where I'm not often wondering if I've tried everything or going over it in my head all day. I'm much happier since I stopped trying the nipple shields 2 days ago, I feel calmer and more content and capable! I just need to stop criticising myself and genuinely believe that I'm doing ok at this! You are all too kind, there should be a local support group to pat each other on the back and coo at the bottle fed babies! Xx

Ah you are all so kind. Up doing the first night feed! Thank you everyone for making me feel ten times better than I've felt for days. It's crazy how something has the power to make you feel that way, I can honestly sat that just a bit of support means I'll sleep a bit easier when I get the chance! Oh and thank you for taking the time to read my incredibly long post!!!! 

Oh and apologies for all the mistakes! Sleepy eyes plus iPhone keypad!!!

Hi I'm a new mum to a 2 week old girl and we had a really rough start with feeding and it's been really distressing for is both. She was born at possibly the busiest time on the kings labour ward and in our first 24 hours we didnt have a visit from a midwife. She was put on my chest minutes after being born and shown to go to the breast which she did. After that I blindly carried on 'feeding' her for her first day and thinking we were doing ok. Sadly she was really lethargic on the second day and after seeing a midwife I was told that the breastfeeding technique was poor and as a result she hadn't fed at all on that first day. I was given help with latching but by that point she was very sleepy abd si wouldn't work at it, things went downhill and she got jaundiced and then wouldn't wake up for any feeds. I had to give her formula as she wouldn't even try the breast, we gave her formula using a feeding tube at first as we were worried about using a bottle but she didn't pick up in energy and so we had to give her more regular formula feeds by bottle. I kept hoping she would still breastfeed and jn the meantime I have her colostrum using a syringe. When my milk came in she was still far too sleepy to feed from a bottle let alone learn how to breastfeed. So we stuck with the bottle formula to get her strength up and I started expressing breastmilk for her. We are now 2 weeks in and ive resigned myself to give up the breastfeeding. I found she was tongue tied and whilst I'm waiting for a referral Im not sure if I will have the procedure unless it is likely to impact on her speech etc. I tried to breastfeed at each feed butcut just wasn't happening and became so stressful for her and me, I'd spend 20-30 mins trying and failing to get her to latch on, then I'd give her the bottle and burp and settle her, then spend 20mins minimum expressing. It was a 90 minute routine which just isn't sustainable without killing myself!!! I tried nipple shields which she would take at first but then just chewed my nipples and fell asleep so she was only using them to soothe and I ended up with blistered and bloody nippmes. Anyway, lobg story but really I've reached a resolution that I cant keep pressuring myself or her to do it. The important thing is her health and I need to put it in perspective. Im not anti formula and actually hadn't planned on exclusively breastfeeding for lobg hut the fact I can't is upsetting. My hormones are still flying high so it's hard to rationalise and I feel guilty all the time!!! I still manage to express enough for 4 feeds a day which we give her in the daytime. I dont know how long I'll manage to do this for as from tomorrow I'm flying solo with dad back at work and every day she is sleeping less and won't be put down! I feel that for my sanity and her health I am doing the best thing, she gets the nutrition she needs plus sone breastmilk ( when she was trying to breastfeed i got such blistered nipples that i couldnt express because of the pain). Im trying to up my milk supply but I know I dont have enough, plus one boob has blocked ducts so gives very little. It's just very hard and i suppose I want to know I'm not the only one!! The pressure to push on through the hours of tears and pain as it can take weeks to establish but I think ive decided enough is enough and I can't cope as a new mother with all of that too! I need to enjoy this time and I found myself fearing her feed times and hoping she would stay asleep!! Anyway....not sure what I want to achieve but there are so many mothers in Dulwich and I'm hoping there are some kind souls who can make me feel better! Others with bottle fed newborns who don't judge or believe ive given in too soon! If there are then please tell me where you hang out because everywhere I look I'm the only one bringing out the formula and bottles in the cafes and it feels horrible!!! Rant over, thank you!!! Oh...and I absolutely appreciate and will take any well-meaning any advice but I do think the breastfeeding boat has sailed for us, I need to start enjoying my lovely girl and not sit in limbo crying over spilt milk ( ha!)

its quite nice to see the old co-op signing on the front of the old motor accessories shop amid the hefty steel gurders and beams - is also quite cool to get a glimps into the completely empty old shell - looks like a barn inside. Perhaps work stopped because the builders are glued to their seats in the plough cafe discussing the golden days of the SE London boxing scene, as per the decor.

thanks everyone, lots of great ideas! I think that i might take up tennis for a bit - see if i like that, keep trying things out - process of elimination!

I will have a think! Problem is that until recently i worked for a magazine and had blogs and writing shoved down my throat for a while...although an insight into the devil wears prada life could be interesting... meanwhile, anyone doing sport let me know!

I love it! sad thing is that i dont have enough interesting stuff to babble on about, desperately need to do some exercise and feel a bit more alive, sick of the fact my boyfriend plays football, runs, rides his bike etc....need to join some more clubs i think - tv soap club might be the winner

I have noticed that there are loads of football, rugby and running clubs but nothing that inspires me as a girl, does anyone know if there are activities groups for women that are flexible and cheap? I cant afford to join a gym but fancy getting fit before the summer and meeting a few local people.