womanofdulwich

As the mother of 2 teenage boys I would say 3.5 ( if out of nappies day time) to 10- but especially 3.5 years to 4.5 years when you are a goddess to them and they believe everything you tell them and copy you and want to do everything you do and are so willing and learning everything that each day is such an achievement it is mind blowingly brilliant.

here here Indigo- treat boys like Labradors was some early advice I received- and it is still true 90% of the time!

we went to rome last october half term ( end of october) and it was brilliantly warm- 22 degrees at least- so i think if you stay south of rome you will be fine. italians are so accommodating with children, sicily should be great.

my teenage son has had a brace for 3-4 years as a baby tooth had not come out and hence adult teeth were growing horizontally underneath- but when we went to Guys they said he also had an over bite and hence he has been severely wired up . we did ask to have the brace taken off as he had had enough of it and the Guys dentists were horrified as said " this is not private dentistry - it is not for cosmetic reasons etc -we are doing what is best for your son. it has been hard work looking after the brace. is it possible to go to guys/ kings directly - self refer? I am sure they would not ask such a ridiculous question- I would ask for a second opinion first- i have heard of private orthodontists being quite harsh and making patients sign up on the spot for ?2,000 plus of orthodontics

the same thing.

sqiggles

some children need to be kept fully occupied, engaged and challenged, whereas others are better being left to grow at their own speed.

bit late in day for me - but how do you decide what type you have? i have never understood this!???

do you still keep it under the bed?

Doesn't anyone feel the guilt that money buys you privilege? Do I need therapy? I still feel uncomfortable about it.

Dear Fruitcake

I feel you pain!.

Start lining up schools for autumn as a fall back position. One of my children goes to St Dunstans and I don't think it generates that arrogant attitude you are worried about. I was so worried about it and steered clear of some Dulwich schools for that reason, but really as parents you get a good idea of other parents of children at those schools and what their attitudes will be and how they and the school culture will influence your child. I have met delightful children from Dulwich private schools, together with some ghastly ones.

The advantage of a good state education means that you can mix with all types and are more rounded in some ways. However it can feel like a chore sometimes, whilst if you go private you feel more like a client. Also don't forget all the debates about university places to state v private school children.

You do not need a tutor to stimulate your child- if you have time or good childcare they should also do this - days out to museums, reading, playing board games, sports , music etc. Most of all enjoy your daughter- she sounds great!:)

I do know a few women ( high earners) who have worked full time while partners worked part time/not at all. In one case their relationship completely broke down, but if they divorce he will get custody and she is left keeping him and the children in a loveless marriage. Scary. I think there is such a huge amount of power relating to who is earning and who is not. One reason why I could not bare not to work. :(

Pickle you seem to have it sorted- I could not get over the money thing though- I packed full time work in for 4 months once when children were in nursery in mornings but could not bear the scrutiny about money/ haircuts /gifts/ being dependent on someone else. I quickly ended up with loads of charity committee work -I felt too guilty not to do something using my skills and not giving anything back to society-which I really enjoyed and was far more rewarding than working for money - made me feel good about myself and question what it was all about- ended up going back 3 days a week.

Just to say I have worked between 3 and 5 days a week since my 17 year old was born. Been through the whole lot , nannies, au pairs, "after school Care". My children are now 13 and 17 and it is still a bum deal, as they need someone around to keep an eye on them- just when you think - ah they can manage by themselves for 2 hours until I get in -( 3 days a week) you come home find they have eaten all the bread and cakes,it is 7 o' clock you have to feed them, then make them do homework, run them around etc. Do not kid your self it gets easier - it does not - it just changes- the only thing I would say is that it is impossible to get a paid job that will give you any satisfaction if you have not worked for 12 years, as some of my stay at home friends found ( the ones that waited until their children started secondary school). Force your self to do some thing- charitable if you can afford not to earn money- where deadlines/ cancelled meetings for sick children are looked on more sympathetically. School holidays- 13 weeks a year- versus 5 weeks work holidays if you are senior enough? don't even go there!!!

One big regret was not getting into an education based job, where the holidays are so brilliant- provided you like that kind of work...........

I always think it is useful to be outside a school as the children come out and see how they are. Lively/ sulky/fighting/ in big groups - and then imagine what your child would be doing. The journey - to and from school is so important- it can really effect how much after school things they do if they don't feel safe coming out later by themselves. Also people are loathe to bad mouth the school their children are currently at- try and catch one that has just left and ask them.

why wait till 4pm? lovely sunny day - pimms o'clock I would say.

The perk of working for free in a charity shop is that you get first pick at what is donated. you should pay for it but it is you that gets first pick - just like jumble sales and nct nearly new sale etc etc. I think it is the only perk you get- some of the items donated are pretty smelly!!

I think there is another strike planned for the middle of JUne - by the way....................

tfl saying there may be strike action tomorrow- anyone know to what extent- so i can set my alarm a bit earlier?

thanks

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