Madison

Thanks for everyone's thoughts on here and by PM - it definitely helps to know that I'm not totally out of touch with reasonable parenting in 2016! Anyway, we have a resolution. We did go round, and spoke to the husband who explained that the oldest boy had picked up a refrain from one song and was shouting it at his brothers when they were playing (nothing bad, from an old song sampling the Robocop movie - 20 Seconds to Comply) and his wife had (in his words) overreacted when she heard it - not so much at the song but at the fact he had picked up something so easily that she never would have let him listen to at home. Which I kind of get, although I agree she may be in a for a rude awakening when they hit their teens. I have said we'll keep the music down when the boys are in the garden over the summer and they are going to look at moving the fort up the garden later in the year so it's not as close to our fence line. So all good - and thanks for giving me the courage to go round there to deal with this face to face.

Long time poster, but using a different user name for this one...my neighbour doesn't post on here but other people know who I am and so could work out who she is. We have a small house and a small garden and we have a neighbour whose garden backs onto ours. They have a massive garden and bigger house at the other end of their garden so we face each other but the houses are a way apart. Our neighbours have three boys under 9. It's fair to say we are quite different people socially/financially - but we get on pretty well - drinks at Christmas, take in parcels for each other etc. About a year ago, our neighbours put up a big wooden fort type thing for their children right up on our fence line. We weren't thrilled, especially when they made clear that the reason for putting it there was that it meant they couldn't hear the noise of the boys playing from their house, but it's actually been fine. Their children are great, yes they can be a bit noisy when they're out there but it's only at the weekends and not even every weekend. So today I was cleaning the house (at about 2pm) with our back doors open and music playing - it was pretty loud because the boys were out playing on the fort and I wanted to be able to hear it above all the shouting and screaming. It was a mix playlist of techno, rock and rap (Blackstreet, Kanye, nothing too hardcore!) - I had at least thought to check there were no very sweary songs given I knew the music would carry. After about an hour, my neighbour came round - to ask me not to play music when the boys were outside in the garden or keep my doors and windows shut, because she and her husband feel strongly that music, TV etc should be age appropriate and she absolutely didn't want the boys "exposed" to rap music. I offered to keep the volume down a bit when the boys are out in the garden but she feels that they will still be able to hear it given how close the play area is. Her parting comment was "I appreciate I can't tell you what to do in your own home, but I will have to keep the boys inside if we can't agree on this". She was perfectly polite and friendly, but it's plain she feels very strongly about this as an issue. I'd really appreciate thoughts on how to handle this. A huge part of me balks at being told what to do in my own home - and I mention this to my husband he will go nuts, but I kind of understand where she's coming from (we have two grown up children who are at uni) and I hate the idea of the kids being kept inside in the summer. I'm thinking of popping round when I know the husband is at home to talk about it and see if we can't agree on the "volume down when children playing" compromise. But maybe it's better to leave and just let things settle without making a big thing about it? Then part of me feels like I am a terrible mother for not being more concerned about this stuff! I don't want things to be weird but equally I feel like I should be able to play music in my own home with the windows open. All thoughts appreciated.