Pikeythievingratbag

I blame Brexit

Stealing is forbidden by one of the Ten Commandments. Thou shalt not have a silly username was considered but the effort involved in chiselling it into another tablet of stone was prohibitive and thus the eleventh commandments was dropped. Thou shalt not steal stayed in, however. As did something about coveting.

That?s my real name. I was christened PikeyThievingratbag when a gipsy ran through the church during my christening and stole my saint Christopher just as the vicar was naming me. My sister is called ?oopsdidntmeantosmashyourheadonthefont? but my parents used a different vicar for my brother who is called Wayne.

Well I think that?s theft. Not as bad as the lady that put the cat in the wheelie bin but stealing a treasured, loved scooter from a poor defenceless child is poor form. I am going to start a justgiving page to get a new one. I can only hope she didn?t nick it for herself as she was quite a unit and it will probably be a bit curved if she does bring it back.