alieh

And here's the Winter Babies thread: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,1130133,page=5 There's lots of people on there who already have toddlers (or more!) too.

monniemae, you poor thing! I really disagree with your HV's advice on leaving her to scream and it sounds like it didn't sit well with you either. Don't hesitate to follow your instincts even if you don't feel like you have many yet only 13 days in! Unfortunately it sounds quite normal though utterly exhausting. Mine usually did let me put them down once in a deep sleep (they just didn't stay that way for long!) but I know lots of people spend those first weeks with them asleep on their chest. Can you somehow ease her down beside you on the bed but still with lots of body contact once she's in a deep sleep? Keep in mind this can take a good 20 mins or so - I thought the Baby Whisperer book had good information about the stages of falling asleep and what to watch for (ignore most of the rest of the book though as filled with loads of rubbish too!). There's loads of information about safe co-sleeping with a newborn and it might help you to get more sleep yourself if she's safely beside you rather than on your chest. Have you tried white noise yet? Super loud - like the volume of a hairdryer or hoover worked best for mine! Eventually scaled back to extractor fan in kitchen, and then to an IPOD white noise playing very loud all night! Do you have a good sling for daytime use? Sounds like she wants to be close (normal!!!) but at least with a sling you have your hands free. Loads of sling options and different ones suit different people.

We had it done privately but it was covered by my husband's work insurance. Only because I was desperate to avoid the weeks of agony and lacerated nipples I suffered with my first baby! But my first son it was done through the Kings clinic and that time they were able to fit him in quite quickly. Both times I paid for a consultation with Katie Fisher in the first instance and she sorted out both the Kings referral and the private Dr. Patel appointment. I think it cost about ?100 for her to come to the house for a couple of hours and then we had lots of follow up phone calls and emails included in that. I'm sure you can get a referral without paying a lactation consultant, I just don't know exactly how. I was desperate for help (and it was Xmas Eve!) so didn't mind paying Katie to come quickly. Incidentally, that sounds like not great advice from the HV re: alternating with bottles with such a young baby when you're trying to get breastfeeding established so definitely sounds like you need another opinion!

We had a few different types but I liked these ones best (you can buy them individually lots of places online, not just as a 3 pack): http://www.mothercare.com/SwaddleMe-3-Pack-Swaddling-Wraps/374165,default,pd.html We also had ones from JoJo Maman but they were a larger size so not as tight. Lots of people swear by the Miracle Blankets too, which don't have velcro but some flap things that tie their arms down! Sounds a bit cruel but it seems to help them sleep in the early months?! It's amazing if he's learning to fall asleep on his own at that age so it seems a shame to "waste" it if it's just a reflex waking him up!

Do you swaddle nice and tight? Could it be that he has that startle reflex thing where his arms and legs spring up just as he's falling into a deep sleep and it wakes him up? We were still using a velcro swaddle blanket thing at that stage which did seem to help.

We've been getting one reading book (i.e. for my son to work on reading) and then one regular picture book for us to read together. I think the idea is that they choose the picture book themselves from the reading corner and it's just for fun/us to read whenever. The reading book I think was supposed to be practiced over the course of a week or so (but only if the child is keen I'm sure!) and they seem to read it with teacher at some point and if they have picked it up quickly then they send another one home. Didn't seem to be any pressure to do anything with either of the books at our school, but my son is keen to have a go at reading so we've been looking at it together just whilst eating breakfast or snack.

That's right. The application process opens in September the year before your child would start (which is the school year in which they turn 5, yes). The last date for applications is mid-January. It is an online form administered by Southwark/Lewisham or whichever borough you live in. You can put any 6 schools in any London borough but in reality are only likely to get your closest school unless there are extenuating circumstances (siblings already in school, medical or other special needs, etc.). The problem comes only when you are not close enough to your closest schools, if that makes sense - i.e. if you end up in a black hole where you're not close enough to any of the local walkable schools. It is impossible to predict where these black holes might be this far in advance, unfortunately. In the meantime, you can each year check the Starting School in Southwark (or Lewisham or whereever) book published by the council to check the distances for each of the schools near you to assess whether you would have had a problem that year. And just keep up to date with any announcements of new schools opening up, which is always discussed on here. Try not to worry as it is a long way off and things will have changed hugely by then!

I would think those would be good days to find a sole charge nanny though, who might just need 1 or 2 extra days to make up a full time week and would maybe cut you a good deal as a result? Good luck!

The other thing is to consider whether you can afford to go back to work "at a loss" for a bit in order to keep your job and career progression. This is what I did. But I know financially that isn't an option for everybody. Your eldest will be eligible for 15 hours free (or discounted if private nursery) from age 3 and then will be in school soon after. I was also very conscious of not just offsetting my salary against childcare costs as though my job was dispensable, but to combine my husband and my salaries and then deduct childcare costs from that pot. But if you're on your own or there isn't enough in the joint pot to cover childcare costs plus other expenses then I can see you might not have a choice.

I don't think childminders do sibling discounts usually but I could be wrong? I would guess that it would be 2x the normal rate of, say, ?50-?65/day? Hence why we ended up with a nanny, which costs about the same as a childminder for two children but is much more flexible as no drop offs, etc. I was shocked when I looked into the costs of childcare for two! Maybe someone else has better news??

Great to know that you can do that - i.e. opt out of homework. I agree that if it is something they enjoy and want to work on, then great. But otherwise seems a terrible way to end a long day when they're only 5 or 6 if it is a struggle. Thick Canadian type here where they don't teaching reading or letters until at least 6 or 7 so maybe that's why I prefer the laissez faire approach!

Crafty Cooks would be a great one! I'm pretty sure they have a Saturday class.

Yep, correct. The published figures do not include waiting lists. But if the offer was made in April, it would seem to be in the first round and should, therefore, reflect the published distance. The whole thing is a bit nuts to try to understand, really!

Out of season is the key, while you can!

I was shocked at the CenterParks prices too! Instead we're going to the Landal GreenParks chain in the Netherlands this half term. Also went at Easter. Seemed brilliant value to me! Even with the Eurostar to Brussels (this half term think it was 100 gbp return for the whole family...we booked 90 days in advance as soon as seats were released) and then train or car rental it is still way cheaper. Think it was 380 euros or something for Mon-Fri in October half term? Last time we went to Het Vennenbos and the indoor waterpark was amazing. This time going to Hoog Vaals which is easy by train so no car required.

I used cloth with no drier (have one now but didn't at the time). The combo that worked best for us was folded muslins or TotsBots Bamboozle size 0 and size 1 with a well fitting wrap (depends on the shape of your baby....Motherease were good) for the newborn/early months. Then once their thighs fatten up a bit we switched to BumGenius/Fuzzi Bunz which are super fast drying. You can stuff them with different things to boost the absorbency....the best I found were thick micro-fibre cleaning cloths from eBay which you could fold around the original BumGenius insert for loads of absorbency.

It would have been April that your friend found out about her school place probably - applications go in in January and results come in April I think. What school is it and other people might have anecdotal information about the distance? Maybe there was a typo in the book??

It is as the crow flies not door to door. Did you look at the book for Starting School in 2014? If so you would think that the distance should be right based on the offer your neighbour received in April. Or maybe you were looking at last year's book (i.e. Starting School in 2013) in which case the distances would have been based on the previous years' entry and therefore different to offers made in April 2013.

Anywhere in ED or surrounds should be very easy and if you want to ease into going further afield, there are amazing feeding rooms in most John Lewis stores and the Mamas and Papas on Regent Street off the top of my head. Good luck!

No bad experiences at all and lots of public breastfeeding! It is a bit daunting at first but I quickly got used to it and then didn't think twice. You can use shawls/covers but most of the time I just couldn't be bothered. I just planned my tops carefully, usually just a vest underneath that was easy to pull down and an easy release breastfeeding bra. You could buy one or two official breast-feeding tops if that makes it easier for you?

Two others that I haven't visited myself but have heard are good and might have spaces are Dulwich Wood nursery and Honor Oak Pre-School.

My older son was at Blossoms Montessori, which isn't too far for you....just down Underhill Road. We love it. We're hoping my younger son can start then when he turns 3 next Spring. It can be difficult to get in touch with them as teachers are busy teaching all day and they probably do have a waiting list, but worth a try!

I wouldn't be surprised Susan if that is correct! Having just gone through this crazy process this year my assessment is that the good news is that there are loads of great schools in the broader area but the bad news may be that you need to live within 200-400 m of ONE of them to be fairly sure of a spot walking distance to your house (because of lots of black hole areas too far from any of the local schools)!

I agree with Dr Boo for makeup - completely love their stuff and it lasts for ages. For clothes I've found some good gems in ED, the Mrs Robinson clothes shop down by the butcher, Fenton Walsh on Bellenden Road has some lovely clothes and very good value sales at times. Often find beautiful things in the Give and Take shop on Lordship Lane near the EDT. If you like vintage/second-hand the little shop on Upland Road (just further up from North X Rd) called Chi Chi Ra Ra has some great stuff. Same for the ED Warehouse on Zenoria Road. Primark in Peckham on Rye Lane for clothes basics. And Boots/Superdrug/Argos for other basics on Rye Lane.

Agree it is unhelpful, but also agree with Renata that there's not a lot they can do. The distances are only a guide anyway as they can change hugely from one year to the next. For e.g., I wrote down the distances for Goodrich over the last few years and I think it was 683 m (09/10), 440 m (10/11), 674 (12/13) and then this year barely 400m I think. The bulge classes hugely skew things not just for the bulge school but also for surrounding schools (as more places are freed up).