Bea

DM does like a male perspective, especially when it has four sweet little legs, a darling tail, some furry ears and is sitting in her handbag - it must be said. Are you Mr Batdog?

Realises that wig is slightly lop sided, pulls it straight. Pushes sunglasses higher up onto perfect nose. Smiles to new chums. Decides to party....

Walks into quiet room, sighs with relief. Heads over to DMs Large purple velvet armchair, sinks in. Smiles to self as slips long straw into bottle of Krug, taken from enormous handbag...

No, it doesn't sound very lounge like at all - a "rathole?"

No Keef, you sound quite the darling! I myself have a perfect bottom - according to a Limerick I have been reading. I am actually rather chubby, but as I always wear jeans (white) and have stilts on underneath, I look perfectly proportioned!

Dear Dulwich Dad, Please tell us, are you married to dulwich mum? Are you James?