EDZ

I used an arm chair. I recommend this one, http://www.maisonsdumonde.com/UK/en/produits/fiche/armchair-cottage-50140296.htm It has a pretty small footprint and the farbic is washable. I tried a glider chair and didn't think the ricking motion was all that great. Any comfy arm chair will do, but it needs to have a full back (so you can rest your head back and have support for your shoulders) and arms at the side to give you support.

Find the nanny share first if you are going that route (and I recommend it both for cost and the benefit to your child of having another child to interact with). Finding the right nanny share is harder and then you can start looking for a nanny together. I think I started looking 3 months before I went back to work.

I use a fan in my daughter's room to blunt the sound of the planes (and in my rooms sometimes). They drive me nuts and you will see lots of rants from me on this sire. Why they have to fly so low is beyond me!

I will join. Mother-in-law is visiting so good excuse to vacate the house :)

I would love to join. Am due around that time so might not be able to make it, but otherwise would love to join.

I would love to meet. I also work full time, but live pretty close to LL so if my husband gets home at a reasonable hour could meet up in evening and could also do a Sunday.

17 Oct, second one and its pink

What does one do at night? I assume you keep them in nappy's but for how long? Do you just stop using nappys when you notice the nappy stays dry or when when they are old enough to get out of bed and go to the loo?

It is nice to see a study like this. I work full time and decently long hours. I really love my job. I also love my daughter but I can honestly say I know for sure I would be an awful stay at home mum. I often dream about working part-time, but the dream usually involves me having time to myself and not necessarily more time with my daughter. The fact is I just get bored doing all the "activities" day after day, hour after hour. Also, I get a huge satisfaction about being financially independent. I think the study in the article was right to consider the benefits the mother gets out of working and how that can positively impact the child, the marriage etc. I know the balance of my marriage would suffer if my husband had to be the sole earner. I know my self-esteem would suffer. It would create financial pressure that we don't need. But people do look at me sometimes when I say I work full time and that I am happy with the choice. I often get looks of sympathy...which I find bizare as I am a highly trained and paid professional who enjoys the work (and the rewards!). But I can really see the struggle of the choice particularly if you are not able to financially jurstify the high cost of excellent childcare. I have an amazing nanny and without seeing my daughter's squeels of delight when nanny comes through the door and witnessing the long list of activities they get up to during the day (way more than I could have the patience for!) I know I would not be so comfortable with how I have chosen to do things.

Does anyone know if a Phil & Teds fits in the boot of a Golf? Going to buy one, but just want to make sure! Thanks

I went to a single sex school and loved it. Yes, there was a period of extraordinary bitching around the age of 13-14, but after that it calmed down. What I liked was that we were always so relaxed around each other in the class-room. Lying on the floor with legs sprawled out during break, not self-conscious during gym. We mixed a lot with the boys schools so I don't think anyone got too socially deprived of male company. Academically we were defenitly told to over and over to achieve and that being a girl did not mean we should preclude ourselves from any career. However, more than anything it is the school itself which is important. I would rather send my daughter to an excellent mixed school than an ok single sex school.

ok, I am going to get some flack for this, but my solution (and this was only once she was past 6 months and I knew she was not hungry because she would wake up in the morning not hungry) was to get up and turn the fan on and go back to bed. However, she had different cries and sometimes she would be crying hysterically for 10 minutes and then I knew I had to get up and settle her. But otherwise it would be this low winge or a very sudden and hysterical cry that lasted less than 5 minutes (I used to run to these until I realised a few times when I wasn't fast enough that she stopped just as I got to her door, so afterwards I always waited to see if she would drop off). After a few weeks of the "fan" or my ignoring her she learnt to settle herself pretty quickly. For some reason the white noise of the fan brought my stress level down (I couldn't just stay outside her door listening to her cry), but the fan and lying half awake to see if she was still crying seemed to work for both of us. But honestly every baby is different and every parent is differnt. The good news is that it doesn't last for ever.

What is the drop off/pick-up like? I have this image of spending twenty minutes in traffic each morning to drop my daughter off.

I got home from the office at 8pm at my 37th week and my daughter was born the next day. I had planned to work until the end of the 38th week. It depends on your job and how long you plan to take off (as well as the boredom factor which I am not good at), but I am full blown career woman so needed to minimize my time off work and take most of it with the baby, hence my decision to push it to the wire. However, some words of advice on making this decision. Find out if your mother was early, on time or late. It seems to run in the family. Only after I gave birth at 37 weeks did my mother exclaim "oh you were all early". If your mother ran late with all her pregnancies that increases the chance you will be late (no guarantee, but seems to be more likely). If you are planning to push is later, be organized! I recognize many of the stories about not having enough babygrows, emergency formula, nursing bra, nappies, pads...you name it, we only had some baby grows, a car seat and crib (not put together), so it was a scramble, largely conducted by a clueless husband with me giving directions from the hospital.

Does anyone know the travel time to stanstead airport from ED by car. Assume minimal traffic as the flight is nice and early! Thanks

I just got a note from HMRC saying I had paid ?5600 in tax for my nanny last year. That is from my after tax income. I wanted to cry. I am also a 40% income tax payer. By the time I pay my tax and my nanny's tax I have very little left over. I work long hours so a nanny is necessary. My only other option is to quit my job. However, I feel like the government just thinks I amn rich and should just hand over most of my pay cheque. It's discouraging and unmotivating for working mothers. Maybe that is the governments plan? They all seem to suggest mother at home is best but make exception for working mother's who NEED to work because they are single or such. Government policy is seriously squewed against the middle class working mother who wants a career.

HeidiHi, I think you have unrealistic expectations. If a family splits ?12hr for a full-time nanny that is a net income of 600wk but for the families who have to pay tax it represents actually ?906 out of their pocket a week . Annually that is ?47,112. A nanny who earns ?10/hr net costs her employer ?38,636 a year. This is an extaordinary amount of money. Even dividing ?12/hr by 2 each family is paying around ?23,500 a year to share. Considering this needs to be paid from your employers' AFTER TAX income it means they need to earn a very good salary to be able to afford even a nanny share. Frankly, at those rates I don't know how anyone can afford it from their take home pay.

We pay ?9 an hour plus tax on top. This is then split between two families with one child each. I think nanny's have totally unrealistic expectations of what to expect. It is a valuable job and I am not underestimating that the work can be quite damanding, but that hourly rate works rate works out to a full time salary of ?32K a year if they work from 8 to 6. My nanny was previously working for a nursery and I think she made something like ?17K a year (or less). Also, there are things you can do to make the job attractive without just offering a huge salary. If the hours are good (i.e. full time or meet their needs), lengthy holidays, nice working environment (easy going about food, allowing them to do things like host tea parties for other nanny's with kids etc)

Try sitaram.org They have great post-natal yoga classes at Kings and Brockwell Lido.

What do people give for their nanny's bonuses. I have no idea what is considered average. Thx

Baby's love routine. Gina Ford is good, but don't take her routine to the extreme's she does (especially for the new borns!). From my experience and what I see, most babies start to fall into a routine around the 4 to 5 month mark and by 6 to 7 month's its easy to have a good routine. Basic outline seem to be (as per Gina Ford), up around 6-7am, nap again at 9am for 45 minutes or so, then another nap around 12:30-1 for up to two hours, then another nap around 4pm (this naps tends to no longer be needed around 6 to 7 months) and then bath and bed by 7pm. Young babies need their morning nap. Generally they always seem to crash about 2 to 3 hours after they first wake and then again need to crash again 2 hours after they wake from their nap. I think I read somewhere about the 2-2-4 hour rule. Wake for 2 hours, sleep, then wake again for 2 hours, then sleep (longer this time), then wake for 4 hours then bed time...or something like that.

I am a professional who spent years in university and then at work getting a "good career". I recently had my first baby, enjoyed six months of well paid maternity leave, found a fabulous nanny and happily went back to work. I was able to say to my employer that I needed to leave at five to be home by 6 so I could do the bath routine. It was working well, except my career has now imploded due to the credit crunch. Recently been laid off. I don't want to just give up my career. I love my daughter, but when I watch my nanny with my daughter I realize I don't want to do that all day, every day. It's just not who I am. However, the chances of my finding a job where I can leave at 5 or go part-time are non-existent at the moment, so I am faced with finding childcare for the evening as well as I often will have to work late. There are lots of people who are unemployed in my line of work, so I can't afford to approach a new employer and ask for concessions. For now at least, the plan it to increase my work-load. I also want another baby, but this time won't qualify for the well-paid maternity leave. Instead will have to head back to work early. The other option is to leave the profession entirely. For so many reasons (self-esteem, years invested, showing my daughter she can have a career, not relying on my husband for income, mental stimulation) I want a career. Interestingly being unemployed has made me realise this more than ever. So for now I will try to make it work and see what happens.