Welcome to Fu-Bar

[SeanMacGabhann]

now James, I like a cardy on a man as much as the next person... but you just don't compare to Tatiana behind the bar

[James]

She must be drop-dead gorgeous

[citizenED]

*very much enjoyed the warm post-rant afterburn*

*with three venues in these parts now we could do a virtual crawl*

*Start in Quiet room, stroll to Rancho with ciggie, have a couple, then stagger, chain-smoking, to Fu-bar for some more bevvies then back to Quiet room.*

*anyone up for it later?*

*In meantime i'll zip another scotch, thank you*

[citizenED]

..........wind whistles through pot plants.........tumbleweed rolls through...........deadly silence.........that'll be a no then.

[SeanMacGabhann]

* throws comforting arm around citizen *

"liking your thought process, but the thing with dive bars is that it often is just you, the sounds and young Tatiana there"

* selects Stooges No Fun *

* buys citizen a beer and a chaser *

[citizenED]

*Cheers, Sean*

*necks drinks swiftly*

*line same up for Sean*

*so I was in here on my own with Tatiana*

*Homer-like thud of head on bar*

*Doh!*

[SeanMacGabhann]

Citizen....? what did you say to her????

[citizenED]

*nothing - that's the point*

*too busy pondering my follow-up to the Iliad*

*Note to self - live in real world, not exclusively in head*

[Jah Lush]

Grrrr....I hate Mondays

got to let off some steam.

*plugs in '58 Telecaster to battered old AC30, switches it up to 11*

*tears into opening riff to The Stooges Raw Power*

*leers lasciviously at the gorgeous Tatiana*

*starts to feel better already*

[SeanMacGabhann]

* ooh do Search & Destroy next *

* and if you do No Fun we cann all clamber on top of the bar *

* in this case All being 3 of us, but still *

[Brendan]

*Skulks in and grabs bottle of single malt?

*Necks half the bottle*

*Plugs ?59 Les Paul Standard into vintage Marshall stack and belts out heavily distorted version of Anarchy in the UK*

*Flies into a sex pistols educed rage and smashes priceless guitar and amp to splinters.*

*Downs the remainder of the whiskey, smashes bottle and collapses in a crumpled heap?

*Enquires about the possibility of a refill*

?Sorry chaps having a spot of bother dealing with it being Monday and all that don?t-cha-know.?

Fascist parking attendants have clamped my fianc??s car. They can?t seem to understand that an on-call midwife going to deliver a baby can park wherever she bloody well wants and now they want ?120! I don?t think I can reason with them by explaining how they are just a tool of an increasingly Orwellian system of control and state sanctioned financial exploitation of the common man.

[Jah Lush]

No problem, Sean

*starts doing wild windmill slashes at guitar a la Pete Townshend*

*sings *I'm the world's forgotten boy the one who searches to destroy*

Notices Tatiana has brought some equally gorgeous and buxom friends with her today*

*Hopes that luck is changing*

[Jah Lush]

Comes out in sympathy with Brendan

*takes huge swig of Rebel Yell from bottle*

*loads pump action shotgun and goes looking for fascist car park attendants*

[Brendan]

*Sits at the bar, cigarette clenched between teeth, slowly sliding .44 caliber dum-dums into the cylinder of a Colt Python*

*Contemplates how this has the potential to all turn a bit ?Falling Down?*

[citizenED]

*that's the spirit, Brendan (or is it bren gun?)*

*All out machismo posturing does wonders for that I don't like Mondays feeling*

*slurps an empathetic pint*

[Jah Lush]

*Comes back through the bar door*

*puts down gun after failing miserably to find any parking attendants to kill or seriously maim*

*Feels a bit sheepish and silly as knows that mindless violence never achieves anything*

*seeks solace in a bottle of Margaux '61*

*Anyone care for a glass?*

[SeanMacGabhann]

having got soaked on the way home?

Am I going to say no???

(Am I ever likely to say no....)

[Brendan]

*Hangs shoulders and puts away plastic gun*

*Doesn?t look even half as cool without it*

*Mutters something under his breath about being ?reconstructed? and writes out a ?120 cheque*

*Sighs and accepts glass of fine wine from Jah Lush*

*Makes inappropriate joke about boobies just to make himself feel slightly better about things*

[Dannyboy]

*crawls through door, shoulders tight round ears, muttering to himself*

Why is that the people who live above me put their small child in clogs on the days I work from home? And why is it that the only time when the little darling is not running up and down the length of the flat, they turn on their stereo with the bass up? I mean, it must be asleep, right? Only, how is it sleeping with that noise? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

*Tatiana, with knowing look, sets up a pint of best and a double gin*

*necks both*

Same again luv.