Looking for people who had positive, empowering birth experiences

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi all,

This post is on behalf of Anna Caffrey, a lovely American lady I met this week. She is a student researcher (and qualified Doula) in the Dept of Anthropology, University College London and is keen to talk to people who have had positive birth experiences as part of her MSc dissertation and future publications.

All involvement is anonymous and Anna will come to you for a very informal chat, I really enjoyed it.

Anna would like to dispel some of the myths around childbirth and to focus on what a positive experience it can be. She said many studies focus on the pain and negative sides of it and she wants to do something different, which may also help women in the future.

If you'd like to be involved please email

[email protected]

[ryedalema]

Hi Molly - I'd be happy to help. Loved both of mine - not as good as a year's free calorie-free chocolate or lying on a beach in the Maldives perhaps, but def. not half as bad as I thought it would be or planned/prepped for.

[The Nappy Lady]

Brilliant! Feel free to email her with contact details and she will arrange to visit you.

Thank you.

Molly

[ryedalema]

Sorry I read that after I'd posted - derr.

[The Nappy Lady]

Oh and she knows me as Amanda not Molly if you refer to how you came to hear of me....sorry, double identity can be very confusing I know!

M

[Maki]

Hi Molly,

Is she just looking for people from ED or nationwide? I am a lurker on here after moving to Gloucestershire from ED. I had a very positive birth and love sharing the story as I really feel that you hear 3 horror stories for every positive one, and I don't think it's representative of reality (at least I hope it's not!)

[sillywoman]

You're so right Maki, & sometimes it's down to how each woman feels about her experience. I was with some women recently discussing birth experiences. One woman described her 'horrendous' birth to me, another woman then described her 'surprisingly alright' birth experience - they were almost identical in terms of length of labour, strength of contraction, speed of dilation (very slow!), what point they'd gone to hospital, what had happened once there and how baby was born. What was different was their view of it all. The first woman looked at the second & said 'but you had an awful time too', second Mum looked quite surprised and said 'did I?' - she just didn't see it that way.

[Fuschia]

I think it's also to do with how much control and knowledge you feel you have.

With the twins I really wanted to be mobile, not continuously monitored, allow twin II to come in their own time... I had good support for my wishes and everything went very smoothly for twin I, I even spent some time in the pool, he was born 3h after my waters were broken.. unfortunately twin II didn't play ball and after waiting for almost 2h, I agreed to be examined and she was feet over her head... (the sort of situation where sometimes twin II ends up born by caesarean)

I knew we'd given her a good chance to turn and descend and she hadn't, so I felt Ok emotionally about the intervention that then followec (she was turned manually which was excrutiating, drip to strengthen contractions and stop her wandering off again, into theatre to have her waters broken, theatre in case cord got trapped and in case we needed an instrumental delivery) and all that just on gas and air... yet despite that sort of thing not at all being in my "plan" I have never had a moment's worry about it as I am convinced it was necessary, I just wanted to be finished, and she may have got into difficulty if we had waited longer.

But if all that had been "foisted" on me immediately after twin I was born, unexpectedly, (and the hospital procedure IS to deliver twin II asap after twin I) we would have missed out on skin to skin and twin I's first feed etc etc... so for us, having a dr who was sympathetic with our wishes (our plan wasn't hugely detailed but it did specify skin to skin with twin I and waiting for twin II to come by herself) made all the difference.

I have known many women who had inductions that to me seemed doomed from the start (not favourable) for dubious reasons (eg automatically booked by the hospital for 41 weeks) that have been a nightmare, and ended up in an emergency CS. I would find it hard to reconcile myself if I looked back on birth and that had happened to me.

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi,

I'm sure she would love to hear from people nationwide, and F I think your experience would be of interest too if you were up for speaking to her.

Thanks again all.

Molly (amanda)

[Fuschia]

The Nappy Lady Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hi,

>

> I'm sure she would love to hear from people

> nationwide, and F I think your experience would be

> of interest too if you were up for speaking to

> her.

>

> Thanks again all.

I have emailed her

>

> Molly (amanda)

[new mother]

I had a wonderful elective section and am happy to discuss with Anna.

QUOTE

You're so right Maki, & sometimes it's down to how each woman feels about her experience. I was with some women recently discussing birth experiences. One woman described her 'horrendous' birth to me, another woman then described her 'surprisingly alright' birth experience - they were almost identical in terms of length of labour, strength of contraction, speed of dilation (very slow!), what point they'd gone to hospital, what had happened once there and how baby was born. What was different was their view of it all. The first woman looked at the second & said 'but you had an awful time too', second Mum looked quite surprised and said 'did I?' - she just didn't see it that way

END QUOTE

this is fascinating and true across all life experiences I think.