new mother

Fuschia, that is exactly the point. I ask about children's preferences. I expect adults to be well.... Adults. Gwod, obviously I wldnt give them something I knew they didn't like. Uptime, religious reasons are fine. It is personal preferences that i will not stand and the selfishness of the guest thinking he or she is so important - one of 12 or whatever - that he or she should be catered for specially or even dictate a menu for other more reasonable people!

Woops - v tired after work.... I was just saying that I go to a lot of trouble and that I don't think it polite for a guest to ask more. It is presuming too much and making the guest more important. If the host chooses to do so, fine but that is the host's prerogative. Civilservant, we are talking about formal dinner parties which may or may not be catered by outside providers as opposed to more relaxed kitchen suppers. I don't think it unreasonable for a previous poster to be unpleasantly surprised on receipt of two texts afterdinner. It is straightforward lazy and ill- mannered of the guest. Ok - another one. Someone told me of this - I admit I haven't actually experienced it: Host: can I get you a glass of wine - red or white? Guest: a glass of champagne would be nice. Unbelievable cheek.

Awilliams, I fear you are right! Sophie, just to set your mind at rest, I will go to a great deal of trouble and effort for the event, I don't

Hmmm, becca. Nappylady, interesting point. I always ask if there is anything they cannot eat. I don't think it emcumbent on the host to cater for Sukie preferring chicken and Freddie liking a particular wine, no. I don't expect to hear back anything other than their medical requirements. I was brought up to eat everything I was given at other people's houses, to thank them enthusiastically at the time and to write to them the next day. Some people think it acceptable to send an email nowadays, so depressing. Anyone agree or are my views those of an endangered species?

Dear forumites, happy 2012 first of all. Secondly, my query: is it reasonable for guests, without being asked to volunteer to hosts their eating preferences? Excepting medical requirements, I don't see why adults cannot simply leave what they don't like. I don't run an a la carte menu for people to choose from. What are your views?

Haha, yes exactly. Facing the floor. The alternative would be guaranteed to increase the crying.... I also swore by holding them up fairly straight (head supported obviously) on the basis everything would work its way down more easily. High scientific as youcan see.

Strawb, I have just read your other post re colic. Dr browns special bottles do help with this and I think you should stick to them over other types despite the leaking issue. It did really annoy me till I realised I was causing it and could fix it. Anything better than a crying baby. The other thing that gives colicky babies relief is to hold them upside down along your arm, one leg on each side, and swing them (gently!). It seems to force air out of their little tummies and they love it.

Undo and empty the funnel thing. Do not heat it up when the top is screwed on tight. It takes a while to get the exact knack but is well worth it. Zero colic or crying or wind from my ch. Who were exclusively bottle fed.

Often the name "Ralph" is pronounced "Rafe"....

Tom, Hugh, Oliver, William, Robert, Charles, Edward, Rupert, Henry? Any decision yet?!

Boots vouchers? Most nursery staff are girls who might like that?

Well, DG, readers of this thread can draw their own conclusions. All I can report is personal experience and what I have observed with friends. For us, and perhaps many others who I have never met, the downside risks of major problems for the baby, in pregnancies that looked textbook all along (critical point!), are more concerning than any marginal benefits that may or may not exist from a pv delivery.

Ruth, loving your sense of humour and hating that you need it! For what it is worth, I saw some significant medical problems happening to a friend once, by chance as I was visiting her in hospital. I raised the alarm and she was "shocked back" - and all is well now. It took me around a year to bs able to mention it anyone and I imagine longer for her. Now we both can although it brings a sombre note to the conversation. You will process it in time darling but in the meantime have a gorgeous happy boy. :-)

Dg, women who have had "bad outcomes" yearn for the marginal problems that may or may not come from an elective section. I find it surprising you can raise minor issues which really are the icing on the cake, if they are true at all-as they aren't my experience or that of ClareC- in a context where the downside risk is bran damage or death to the baby.

Completely agree with ClareC on all points (save re Sillywoman, but that is only because I haven't met her!). Funnily enough ClareC mentioned her children had had fewer bugs etc than those of her friends delivered pv. This is entirely my experience and I raised it in an earlier thread as I formula fed as well and was confused by the apparent and unexpectedly robust nature of my ch. Can you pinpoint why your Ch are robust, ClareC? My only suggestion for ours is that I was quite paranoid about infection etc and probably washing their hands more often than most people. Could this have made the difference?

Saffron, errr, because the risks to the baby of a birth pv vastly outweigh the marinal benefits of things like forcing out mucus etc. The risks of C section surgery are almost all on the mother's side. To that extent it could be seen as an unselfish option. I chose it because my friends with sections had all done v well, we know almost noone who had had such good birth experiences pv, to me the risks of intervention such as forceps were terrifying as I know that some doctors nowadays are not adequately versed in usage and the fact that if something goes wrong pv, a disaster scenario can relatively easily follow.

Ask them for details of the PCT as you have issues that you need to be resolved?....

Have had two elective sections and it has never occurred to me to feel guilty for a second. Why should I? I am just thrilled that I had no pain, healthy bouncing babies and intervention of a type that was monitored and calm as opposed to a panicked emergency scenario. Every time I read threads like this I so wish elective sections were more used in the uk. Love to LM and good luck for your new baby. I imagine there are other women reading who have had disastrous outcomes for one reason or another and my heart goes out to you. Noone should suffer the pain you have experienced. Xx

To respond to people commenting on my post, yes of course there are people doing useful state work. But t here are far too many doing non jobs for local councils, counting the number of left handed people employed in the nhs, completing records for school children who need to be taught not annotated etc. The public sector workers of my acquaintance work laughably short hours, and seem to have extraordinary flexibility in terms of time off while being reasonably well paid today, enjoying a level of job security that does not exist elsewhere in the UK and final salary pension rights that are out of kilter with their contribution to society. You have to understand the level of contempt private sector workers have for whinging ps workers. Politicians, bankers and categories of state employee deemed non producers are all on the same level these days in people's minds. Having said this, clarkson is a bbc employee and as such should not be allowed to take a political stance, far less a nutty one....

That takes the prize surely?! A friend of mine gets all hers from the sales post Christmas and hangs on to them for a year. Seriously. Decorations too till she had enough. Another friend's great aunt used to get toys in the sales and they were always extra out of step for the recipients' ages as a result.

God that is awful Rahrahrah. You must be shattered. Two questions - did the little one ever sleep? Is is this a new thing? And is she on good quantities of solids? Assume you have had all sorts of medical investigations done to eliminate her being in pain when lying down for some reason? God poor you. :-(

Basic question - what do all these people do? Isn't t desperately dull doing nothing all day or wasting the country's productivity? It strikes me as 40 years of slow torture. But then I suppose the pension makes up for it. The ones that really get to me are the private school teachers who came out on the grounds they are members of a ps union.

Agreed. And text speak by adults is desperate.

They are extremely well organised - they have judged it to arrive today. Impressive. Wow. Posted yesterday deliberately to reach you today.

It doesn't make sense to say that for every home birth negative there is a hospital one when the vast majority of uk births happen in hospital. Oh and birth of western sized babies is not "natural" as it often cited. Our pelvises are not designed to produce babies with heads this size! Ps the answer is to lobby vigorously your(underworked) mp for improvements in hospital maternity care, and for maternity care to happen on a proper surgical ward rather thAn the hotch potch of care that is currently on offer in the nhs, rather than remove yourself to a non medical setting.