Nursery ....quite unhappy :-(

[DizzyVB]

Hi all my son has been attending nursery since April and I find it strange that they don't normally do things that they have made to take home. Only two or three occasions has this happened.

They posted a video in the nurser app of a drama lesson where everyone sits in a circle...well...my son can be seen outside the circle behind another child completely unengaged from the activity.

The lady assistant looks very detached from the group just sitting there and not engaging with the kids...

This issue made me quite angry as it seems they are not recognising my sons needs (he is half spanish half english) being spanish his first language.

I would think the normal procedure would be for the assistant to hold my son on her lap as he is quite shy due to language barrier...

Should I raise this matter with them?

Would love to hear your thoughts.

[Giacomelli]

Definitely go and speak to them, they should always be happy to talk to you about your child's wellbeing and development. Raise the point about the video and if your child is old enough maybe talk to him about it. However, I do remember my son hating certain singing group activities when he was around 2. i always felt it better to let him be than face the tantrum of trying to force him to do it. He is a very sociable chap, just stubborn sometimes. Maybe the video captured one of his off moments? My children do not go to that nursery so I cannot comment on the nursery itself, however much of the artwork done by children at nursery goes on the wall. It is meant to give them a sense of pride seeing their work on display. Take a look at the walls when you are next there and ask if your son has contributed. They might keep a file of his work which they then give you at a parent's evening. This is what I used to do when I taught English to kids in Italy. My sons are also dual language and that itself can cause communication issues which can lead to extra tantrums so o would just ask the mursery to set aside some time to chat.

[Monkey]

My daughter would never engage at nursery. I used to come in, see lots of children sitting nicely, listening to a story, and my daughter would be doing something totally different, somewhere else in the room. it's not uncommon at all. Seven years on, she's well adjusted at school. Speak to them and try not to worry.

[Vestii]

Post negatively and anonymously on a public forum.

Or

Go and have a conversation with the nursery.

The latter will be more productive and more likely to answer your concern.

[alice]

where do you work v?

[Vestii]

Hello alice ,

Not at Le nid, assuming that's your implication.

I have posted for a long time as vesti but got in a knot with passwords and email, as hadn't posted for a while,so started again.

Best, Jane

My point remains; more productive to have a direct discussion with the nursery than post anonymously on a public forum.

[alice]

thanks v.

agree with you in part. have the discussion but after getting other parents point of view.

[DizzyVB]

I agree....my apologies...should not have used the name of the nursery...I still would like to hear other parents point of view as is the first ever nursery my son has attended.

[Jemmarc]

Like everyone else has said, you should definitely go and speak to the nursery. I don't think they are necessarily doing anything wrong, but it's more to make sure that your son is feeling happy and included. Also I think it's important to check that they have a reason/view/plan and that it is not just that he is being forgotten because he is not one of the noisy ones.

My son never participated in music sessions when he was that age - even if I took him myself to classes he would try and escape. He's 3.5 now and enjoys singing etc a bit more now but he still cried last week when his key worker tried to sing him a song. Just not his thing.

What I'm trying to say is that children all have their quirks and likes/dislikes and maybe, for example, the nursery have noticed that he is not interested in particular activities and decided to let him have the freedom to join/participate in his own time. But the important thing is that they are considering his needs so I think you should find out if they have any plans/ideas for helping him to join in and how they usually help children who are a little shy etc.

I think once you've spoken to them you will get a gut feeling about whether you are happy with their response and you will know what to do.

Good luck with it.

[Ginster]

My daughter goes there and yes they keep the work - as once she insisted we take it ALL home! Page upon page (at least 20-30 pieces) of "artwork" - so definitely ask. I have also had stuff pointed out to me on the wall by both my child and the staff.

The videos I've seen have often had people "out of the circle" and knowing some 2-3 year olds I'm sure that's how they want it. My child is very happy and social but as soon as you have an activity like that she goes into a quiet almost zombie-like staring mode. Not that she's not happy or interested, almost too interested and just staring and taking it all in. I guess you know your child the best - so if he needs them to bring them onto their lap then definitely just ask/request. There will be a parents evening at some point to also discuss - but why not grab a few words one morning or evening? I always managed to have a quick chat about their day.

Good luck.

[Angelina]

I strongly believe that if you're not happy you should move.

Firstly, engage with the nursery to raise your concerns and put measures in place (even if it's just your own) and if improvements don't materialize, move.

[DizzyVB]

Thank you all for your messages.

I had a word with them.

They said every child is different. They do encourage them to participate but can not force them (makes sense I guess). Im happy with the nursery overall and im glad I had a chat with them.

Is the first time my son goes to a nursery so was not sure what to expect.