"You're Dumped"

[HonaloochieB]

I was once handed the mitten by a girl called Thelma for turning up too early.

[RosieH]

I once dumped a guy for arranging the flowers he'd brought me (against my explicit instructions).

[HonaloochieB]

Perhaps in the interests of strict accuracy I should add that I turned up in her flat at 3:30 AM having scaled the scaffolding outside and climbed through a window.

In my mind, a Romeo and Julietian-style romantic act.

In Thelma's, a drunken Norman Wisdomesque act of the utmost idiocy.

I wonder who's kissing her now?

[Brendan]

Charles Tyrvvhitt or perhaps Bobby Davro?

[*Bob*]

Louise?

[RosieH]

Oh my god, HonaB, you're a closet psychopath. I wouldn't have dumped you, I would have hit you on the head with a frying pan and called the police.

[Brendan]

And people say romance is dead.

[HonaloochieB]

RosieH Wrote:

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> Oh my god, HonaB, you're a closet psychopath. I

> wouldn't have dumped you, I would have hit you on

> the head with a frying pan and called the police.

See what I mean about different interpretations, I was thinking Romeo & Juliet you'd have taken the Andy & Florrie Capp route.

[RosieH]

Hmm, cat burgling murdering rapist is more the route I'm taking...

[HonaloochieB]

Brendan Wrote:

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> Charles Tyrvvhitt or perhaps Bobby Davro?

I hope it's Charles Tyrwhitt rather than BD, at least she'll have some nice blouses.

Fond of a blouse was Thelma.

[HonaloochieB]

RosieH Wrote:

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> Hmm, cat burgling murdering rapist is more the

> route I'm taking...

Just to make it clear, this wasn't our first meeting...

[RosieH]

Heh, I didn't think it was. But I'm not sure I would have waited to ascertain the identity of my gentleman caller taking this unorthodox method of gaining entry to my bedroom at 3 in the morning before offing him with a sturdy piece of kitchen hardware.

Think it through man...!

[HonaloochieB]

Thought was the last thing on my mind, Rosie.

Let's just say this was a very long time and several stone ago and today I would carefully risk assess the impact of intruding on my squeeze in this fashion.

I would almost certainly take into account the emotional effect on said squeeze and the danger in which I was placing myself and the legal ramifications.

I think it highly unlikely I'd take the same course of action, so you see what a reformed mature character I have become, a wiser head now sits atop these shoulders and I have put aside childish things.

And I got myself comprehensively dumped, and I really liked her too, so really who was the victim in all this?

I mean, really?

[Loz]

Just as well you didn't try to rearrange her flowers as well, Hono, else Rosie may have just gone ballistic...

[RosieH]

Loz, you don't understand. They were sunflowers and he'd cut the stems with my 8" chefs knife and lined them up on the chopping board like a row of corpses, with the knife alongside.

Definite shades of Patrick Bateman.

[Brendan]

Coo coo.

[Brendan]

or is that cuckoo? I never know.

[HonaloochieB]

Brendan, it's 'coo coo' if you're quoting Frank Sinatra and 'cuckoo' if you're firing off a stinker to The Telegraph.

For the latter it's particularly effective when bracketed by 'cloud' and 'land'.

[Brendan]

As in, cuckoo ca choo?

[HonaloochieB]

No that would be coo coo ca choo, cuckoo ca choo makes no sense.

[Brendan]

But what about when I was a puddle of that really shiny water in Thomas the Tank Engine and Ringo was reading the indignant spewings of unpleasant conservatives over the public address system?

[legalbeagle]

Brendan - you do know you're talking out loud, don't you?!

[expat]

>my 8" chefs knife

He used your chelfs knife?!?!? No wonder you dumped him..

[HonaloochieB]

I think in a sense we're all shiny water in the gutter, but Brendan is looking at the Starr.

[Brendan]

This 8? chef of yours, is he/she employed solely for the preparation of canap?s and such or are they able to make larger dishes with the help of some miniature engineering equipment, perhaps knocked up out of meccano?