First Footing

[computedshorty]

I got up at half past five this morning, once awake I cant go back to sleep, so I got dressed I noticed that I had a small hole in my left sock, this is quite normal as I have a deformed large toe nail it got run over by a wheelchair with an enormous man sitting in it, so a pair of socks last just a few days.

Just a little tidying and washing up, my left toe started to hurt like hell, removing my shoe I noticed that I now had a strangled half inch of purple toe peeping through my sock, not having a pair of socks of the same colour I had to attempt to darn it.

I found some blue wool and a darning needle but to get the wool through the eye I just could not get it to got through, My hands shake a bit so I got the magnifying glass but could not hold that as well as the wool and needle, I put the handle of the magnifying glass in the milk bottle, then it was too high so I put the jam jar on top of the upturned mug and the last end of the loaf on top then pushed the needle into it, now the wool lined up with the needle and I could see it through the magnifying glass, I wet it and made a point but after a time I gave up. I solved it by pinching the hole in the sock together and winding the wool three times around it and tied a knot, it looked like a bun that you see on women?s hair, I put the sock on but it was very uncomfortable with the lump in my shoe.

I have arthritis and to bring my foot up high enough is almost impossible for me to try to cut my toenails, as my deformed toenail is so thick the pair of lever snips open just enough to get the nail in, but I don't have the pressure to close the levers together they twist and lose contact or I get a severe cramp in my groin and have to free my leg and stand up. I gave up.

I had an idea a while back I got a free gift of a battery operated set of miniature grinding wheels, I selected the smallest wheel and started to grind the nail it did not hurt but the sound sort of travelled up to my head, cautiously I ground the nail back it did smell peculiar, and burnt my toe once or twice, at least that?s off for a while, I have stuck an elastoplaste on the end of my toe.

Breakfast now I take the needle out of the bread, cut two slices for toasting not too good at cutting the last bits from the end of the loaf a bit wider one side, put them in the toaster no 9, put two eggs in the boiling water only three minutes as I want soldiers of toast to dip in my eggs, what a noise the fire alarm is going like mad, the toast had got jammed and is burning a lot of smoke, open the back door open the window, turn off the electric, the smoke its clearing now, the eggs have been on boil for half an hour, put them under the water tap to cool down, wonder if they are hard? I should have test tapped it on the middle of the plate, To break the shell and take it off.

But did it on the side, why is it that when a plate breaks it always goes in two parts?

Not been in the garden yet the birds are waiting for their seed, I have one of those Apostle Tea Spoons I have tied a bit of that wool round his neck and forced it through the egg and left some wool to hang it on the apple tree, I have broken up the toast into bits and put it out for the birds hung the two eggs on the tree, the Green Tits are swinging on the wool it looks like when we used to play conkers at school.

My tea has got cold and I have no sugar, been using jam for two days just to sweeten it a bit, the milk has got something in the bottle looks like toe nails. I have got another jar of jam but I cant get the lid off, I?m waiting for it to be out of date then I can throw it away.

I heard the postman just now, no post just a note We were unable to deliver your parcel it has been returned to the Post Office please call to collect it in the next week or it will be returned to sender.

Anyone going up the Post office could you pick up my parcel? Its only Ink.

I?d go myself but when I went in garden in the rain to hang up the eggs the black smoke that got on my face became all streaky, I will have to have a bath but with my luck today will probably drown myself.

I have been thinking how to construct a floating Zimmer for the bath but it wont work the legs get entangled and wind up being uppermost and very painful if sitting down without looking behind.

[daizie]

LOL