Last 6 months of freedom - what would you do differently?

[Yak]

Hello lovely Family Roomers,

Mr Yak and I have just had our 12 week scan at Kings which was simply super and superbly conducted by all the staff involved (which was a relief!). We've been pondering all the lovely things we'll do once the Yaklet arrives in April 2011 but we've also been thinking about the things we'd like to do before parenthood changes so many aspects of our lives in so many ways.

We've identified a lot of the more obvious things to do (grown up holiday / weekend away, trips to the theatre, cinema, dinners out, as much sleep as we can get etc) but I'm sure there are lots of things that haven't occurred to us because we might be kidding ourselves that they are still possible when Yaklet is around.

So.... if you had your 6 last months of child-free living again, what would you do differently? And what would you definitely do again?

[Mellors]

Little pleasures for me:

- Sit and read a book in silence

- Go for a wee alone and savour it

- Drink a whole, hot cup of coffee/tea

- Have a long telephone conversation without being interrupted 20 times

- have a nice relaxed haircut

- buy, and read, a Sunday newspaper

- get up when YOU want, not when some small being yells at you

- get on public transport (not all that easy with a little 'un - the tube is pretty out of the question for ages)

- enjoy a walk together at your own speed

- drive with your own music on

I'm sure there are lots more!

Its all marvellous though, congratulations :)

[Mellors]

The best thing I did, and would definitely do again was to go for a posh Treatment Day just as I was about to pop - pregnancy massage, manicure, pedicure, haircut - the works. I was a few days overdue at the time (much to the consternation of the staff!) and it was the last time I felt human or vaguely groomed for months and months.

It was also nice to at least have beautifully painted toe nails when in the throes of labour!

[legalbeagle]

Stop planning all the amazing last minute adventures and go out on your own, just the two of you. Stop being a partner, stop being a parent-to-be, stop being an employee. Don't talk about pregnancy or babies. Be yourselves and remember why you first loved each other and why you embarked on this incredible journey together. Remember that, after your beautiful baby arrives, you will both still be individuals who need to keep their identity and who need to be nurtured as just that. Remind yourselves that you are allowed to find this bewildering and exhausting and terrifying as well as fabulous and extraordinary and wonderful.

And then get ready to love someone more than you ever thought possible.

Bon chance. It's a fabulous journey.

[SteveT]

Talking strictly from a guy's point of view,

take her down to the abortion clinic.....double quick!

[womanofdulwich]

Give as much as you can to others- while you can- because those first few months make it hard to give any time to anyone else. All the other things people mention you really don't need to do many now, as you are probably used to have unlimited access to each other anyway. The last month definitely do all the hairdressing beauty stuff- talk at depth about your hopes and aspirations and what you are going to do to support each other. Quiz anyone you admire as to how they managed- what little releases you can arrange. Will you try and go out together without baby for an hour when it is one month old? 2 hours when it is 2 months old. Now is the time to say these things to each other and try and make them happen, before it all washes over you. A baby is a gift, but your relationship together is also special and can suffer. Good luck,

[Ruth_Baldock]

Couldn't agree more, legalbeagle!

[ryedalema]

Adding to all of the above - go to the cinema. My eldest daughter is 3.5 and still won't sit still through a film.

Plus it's lovely sitting with a huge plate of nachos resting on your bump - in the semi darkness so people can't see you dribbling it down your chin.

Slummy mummy, me? Too right!

[The Nappy Lady]

Stand up, grab keys & purse & just walk out the door!! Leaving the house will feel like a major expedition soon so embrace the ease & freedom while you can.

Have regular manicures/pedicures & general pampering now too (again time & freedom).

Sit or lie on the settee & listen to your favourite music, relax, meditate or whatever.....just appreciate having the time to stop, think about stuff and be YOU, these days will return, but not for a while!

Good luck.

[nicolemodesti]

Enjoy long lazy hot lunches with friends without being interrupted!!

Leisurely read the Sunday newspapers, lying on the sofa, without it being prized from your hands or you being used as a trampoline!!

Definitely only think about you and your partner as this soon becomes in the order of child, partner, work and eventually you!!

Would I change it? Not a chance as it certainly has been the most amazing journey to date.

All the best.

[The Nappy Lady]

Oh - here's another....long soaky baths, with the door shut, candles, a good book, whatever!

If you like gardening...pottering in the garden, I really missed it - didn't do a thing out there for about a year/18 months after each baby arrived (or in last month or two of pregnancies when I couldn't really bend down or lift comfortably etc) - thankfully DH took it in hand otherwise we'd have ended up with a jungle (I was a mad keen gardener before, and am finally getting back into it - with my 2 girls 'helping' out (some very messy days with bags of compost and bedding plants, but very happy times!!).

As others have said I wouldn't change a thing, and it is amazing how you adapt to each stage as you go through it.

[candj]

Lying in bed with your husband/partner during the weekends, being able to read anything uninterrupted and taking your time when cooking dinner. I agree with the baths - have as many as you can now and potter around the house as much as possible making lots of noise because you'll be tiptoeing and cursing those squeaky floor boards in the near future.

Best of luck with everything and enjoy!

[candj]

And yes, I would do it all over again as I wouldn't change what we have now for the world!

[clairelouise]

Sleep, Sleep and sleep ;-)

[Belle]

I'd say spend some quality time with friends - long talks etc - as that does all get much scarcer afterwards, I always feel as though I'm not a brilliant friend nowadays as my mind is always half on my son, out of necessity really. It's fine, friends understand - but you might feel better if you've had some fun times with them beforehand.

[EmilyE]

I'm with legalbeagle.

Though also, on a much more prosaic level, do any practical things you've been meaning to do (getting curtains, sorting out cupboards, doing your tax-return...) whatever it is that you've been not getting round to. Then you can spend time after the baby enjoying it and not feeling bad/frustrated/anxious about all the other things you're not doing.

[canadianlisa]

If I had to do it again I would see more films, long weekends away, Sunday afternoons in the pub with friends and with my partner. Also I would have shopped more in town. Maybe buy some clothes for when you are closer to your normal weight so you have something to look forward to wearing. Actually I would go into town a lot- I really miss leaving SE London now as it is so much more of a mission if you can only do it after bedtime.

Like everyone else said though it is pretty great to have a baby.

[Keef]

I'd agree with staying in bed late on a Saturday morning, and just enjoying the fact your house is clean and tidy.

Mrs Keef would absolutely agree with reading books, she was a BIG reader, and now barely gets to read a page or 2 a week, and I know that upsets her.

Hangovers! I don't mean you miss them exactly, but I used to love going out on the lash til late, and just hiding from the sun the following day, or going for hair of the dog. Believe me, you / your fella will learn very quickly that hangovers and little babies are a sh!t combo!!! That is the first thing that has ever really made me consider what I am drinking!

Basically just chill out and enjoy each other's company, because, much as you'll adore your little one, there are times when 3 seems like a crowd!

Oh, and you might want to enjoy the occasional bunk up whilst you have no interruptions!!! ::o

[Ruth_Baldock]

Keef, that's how babies get made you know! You live, you learn and all that ;)

[Ko]

enjoy going out to the pub (ok only soft drinks during pregnancy!) and restaurants and enjoy them uninterrupted! enjoy lie ins. enjoy going shopping without a baby who gets bored everytime i stop to look at anything in the shop!

but, look forward to ... amazing newborn days, lovely snuggly cuddles and a whole new little person to light up your lives!!!

[marscapone]

Go out and visit friends all over London so that by the time baby arrives you are ready to stay at home for a bit and have everyone come to you

[sb]

.

[????]

Read the Sunday Papers and go to the cinema are my favourites,,,but don't know how comfy the cinema is with a bump

[Mellors]

I loved the cinema when preggers. When I went on maternity leave I used to go in the afternoons on my own, heaven.

I went into labour when watching Pan's Labryinth at Brixton Ritzy one afternoon, and had contractions in the aisle every 15 mins or so, but refused to leave till it had finished :)

[Claire.Hobbs]

Yep, I agree re seeing friends. Especially in the evenings, and have long coherent conversations (not about babies)!

Go out together as a couple in the evenings, cinema, dinner, theatre, gigs etc.

Cook extra batches of food and pop in the freezer.

Get your hair done.

Errr..have sex. Doesn't have to stop once bub arrives but you might find you don't have the time you used to...