Dummy Dilema

[snoopy28]

My 10 week old son has had a dummy from day 1 as he is a very 'sucky' baby. He loves his dummy but recently I have tried to limit it to daytime naps and night time, which he is fine about. The problem I'm wondering what to do about is I'm having trouble with the dummy falling out at night and he then cries until I get up and put it back in. Some nights this can happen up to 10-12 times a night between 1am and 6am which is knackering!!!

I need advice from parents in the know!!

Do I:

a) let him keep the dummy and use it to sleep with as he'll eventually learn to put the dummy back in by himself (although I'll still have another 4-5 months of this!?!?)

b) Go cold turkey and take dummies off him completely - and if so how do I get him to go to sleep in his cot as he just cries and cries without dummy!?

c) Still use the dummy but don't let him fully fall asleep with it and pull it out before he drops off to sleep?

I keep changing my mind as to what to do, sometimes deciding I'll take the dummy off him all together but this is then followed by giving it back to him in the early hours of the morning when I'm too tired to continue. The whole dummy dilema is driving my husband mad!! Any advice you could give me would be really appreciated!!!

Thanks!

[candj]

I think if they are younger than 2 then go cold turkey, any older and you have to then negotiate with them and I think it's a bit more traumatic. He has to give it up sometime so it's a matter of whether you do it now or later (I should say whether you want to deal with it now or later).

BOth mine used dummies only at nighttime - older one until she was 2 and younger one until she was 3 (eek, they did say 36 months on the orthodontic ones) and it was much harder to give up(in fact, younger daughter saw a photo of herself with a dummy the other day and asked for it!). I will say in our experience that they slept better with the dummy. I also think better dummy than thumb.

And if you're wondering, they do learn to find their dummies in the night when they fall out, yours is just a bit young.

Good luck!

[snoopy28]

Thanks candj - I think you're maybe right, my little one does def go to sleep so much easier with the dummy!

[Mrs_P]

Hi snoopy28,

From experience, I would say to still use the dummy, your son is still very young to go cold turkey. Your son will find it comforting when trying to sleep and also when teething or not feeling well so don't listen to anyone who says dummies are bad! My daughter slept soundly throughout the night from 3 1/2 months and she's 3 now and occasionally still has it for nap times only! Some might say that's bad but at the end of the day it's my decision - do what you think is right, there is no right or wrong. Tip: When your son gets a little older clip the dummy on his pyjamas with one of those dummy clips and sooner or later he will find the ribbon, pull on it and in goes the dummy - no more up and down, in and out of bed throughout the night. I had no choice, had to find a solution especially going back to work full time when my daughter was 10 months old!

Hope you find this useful and good luck!

Mrs_P

[Saffron]

A lactation consultant told me that dummies can be helpful for little babies, because they stimulate saliva production. The extra saliva helps to soothe the digestive system. More's the pity that Little Saff never took much to a dummy, and when we did use one, we always popped it out just before she fell to sleep. Then at 6 mo, she gave up the dummy on her own. Now at 9 mo, I wish she still took a dummy, as only boob get her off to sleep! She went through a period where she was sleeping very poorly, and I was up sometimes 5+ times a night to nurse her. Oh how I longed to be able to just plug in a dummy.

Good luck whatever decision you make, and try not to stress about it.

x Saff x

[jrthomas_uk]

My son had a dummy from 12 weeks and we finally took it away from him at 5 months. We went cold turkey which we thought would be horrible but actually it only took three sleeps to get over it. We also introduced a comfort blanket which he snuggled into instead of wanting his dummy, he also found his thumb.

While he had his dummy we always removed it before he was fully asleep or if it fell out while he was dropping off we didn't repace it. We had to give it back to him in the night but only about 4/5 times.

Hope this helps.

[MGolden]

Both my sons had dummies. They were very 'sucky' babies and quickly learned to find them and put them back in if they came out at night time. I strictly rationed them to nap time, night time and car journeys (both were terrible in the car and the dummy soothed them). In the car I insisted they removed them if they wanted to speak. With both of them I got them to speak to the dentist when they were nearly four about stopping having a dummy (our dentist's sons both had dummies too). She suggested binning them (with the boys agreement) the day after their 4th birthdays. They did and after a couple of nights were able to go to sleep easily. Now they still sometimes make sucking nosies at night time (they are 8 and 11!!). Even writing this I remember how much I hated the fact they had dummies but I see friends children who at the same age as my children still suck thumbs and/or have comfort blankets and I think maybe we did what was right for us.

Ultimately though Snoopy28 you need to do what is right for you as a family. Your baby is highly unlikely to still be using some sort of comforter when he is older.

Good luck!!

[fordybee]

Hi snoopy28 I would echo others on here and say that it's unlikely your son will be able to find the dummy for himself anytime in the near future, so I think you have summarised your options well but would say re c) that this doesn't always work because he is still likely to wake up wanting the dummy to soothe him back to sleep so really your options are a) or b). I would recommend waiting a bit longer if you can bear it, and then when you feel he is old enough, do some sleep training to get rid of the dummy.

My son is now 2 and was a very sucky baby too, loved his dummy until we went cold turkey when he was 6 months because I was going back to work full time when he was 7 months and knew I couldn't keep being woken up during the night just to put his dummy back in. I tried every form of sleep training but eventually did controlled crying (felt that at 6 months he was old enough) and actually really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be (or as bad as the anti-CC crew on mumsnet had led me to believe!). Used www.BabySleepAnswers.co.uk which was BRILLIANT. Totally supportive. You have to go through with it once you start otherwise it's not fair on the little one, so you have to make sure you are absolutely doing the right thing and then be really strong about it - but I do think 10 weeks is probably too young for CC and you should perhaps try some of the softer options first.

My son ended up finding his own comforter which is the leg of a cuddly lamb which he now basically uses as a dummy and won't go to sleep without, so I'm not sure all our efforts were 100% successful but it's obviously much easier for him to find in the night and he never wakes me up wanting his lamb - in fact in the past 18 months he has rarely woken in the night, only if he has a bad dream or when he's had bad teething. I do worry about hygiene but have bought a couple of replacements and they get washed every couple of days and he doesn't seem to have suffered as a result. He sleeps brilliantly. Whatever you decide, good luck!