Change table traumas at 9 months - what can I do?

[littlemissindulgence]

My very active and strong little DD of 9 months old just HATES being changed. This has occured since 8 weeks or so. She cries as soon as she even sees the changing table (in her nursey) to be laid down. I have tried padding it more, tried distractions of all sorts but it's just proving very difficult and can't bare the thought of what she's going to be like at 18 months and beyond.

She wriggels, cries, now kicks me and turns over EVERY time. I am however becoming an expert at changinging her standing up....

In case you are wondering, I cannot remember dropping her head and she def did not fall off at any point - so not sure what has caused it.

Please advise if you have experienced similar bad associations / habits and any advice on how to change this experience for her would be greatly appreciated. It's really upsetting me (and her obviously).

Thanks

[The Nappy Lady]

littlemissindulgence,

this is 100% totally normal, and usually starts pretty much as soon as babies start to roll. They do get over it and become compliant again later on - you can literally say "come here and have your nappy changed" and they will toddle over to you and lie down (good times :)) ......) at least most of the time, if not always.

In the meantime, you have a few options, you can try doing it the gentle way - by offering her normally 'banned' toys when on the change mat - and change regularly - in order to distract her. Turn change time into a general tickle game etc. but to be totally honest here is what I would recommend;

To change nappy;

Sit on floor on your bottom with legs out in front of you, in a V shape. Place baby at right angles to you, with your thigh over her chest to pin her down, and her feet in the direction of your other leg. You can then change her quickly and easily, with both hands free, without her moving, and even if she protests it will all be a lot quicker and less frustrating/traumatic than the general baby rolling and crawling away, poo everywhere, stressed out red sweaty Mummy thing....

Usually you only have to do it for a week or two and they stop playing up about nappy changes anyway because they realise you've got them beaten!

One of the best tips I've ever been given, handed down through generations of Nappy Ladies!

I know it probably sounds a bit harsh, but I promise you it is the way to go - and hopefully a few others on here that I've told about it before will post in a while to back me up on it.

Let me know how you get on, or if you're not sure exactly what I mean re how to do it, feel free to ask.

Molly

[Shaggy]

It is a brilliant technique. It works perfectly. I read it a while back (thanks Nappy Lady) and it really worked.

[littlemissindulgence]

THANK YOU, great advice - will be trying this from tomorrow onwards. Will let you know how I get on!

K

[Saila]

this is exactly what we've been going through too

just started 3 or so weeks ago (9 month old)

he cries like the world's ending and never usually cries at anything so it's a real shock to us and we can't stand it

we googled solutions and they all suggested a "feet on upper arm" idea, similar to above.

It 'worked' in that the nappy went on fairly quickly, but really upset us as seemed really cruel - so we stopped (after about 3/4 changes) and went back to chasing him around the room with a half open nappy stuck to his backside...

perhaps we should continue then, if they 'give up' eventually?

still seems harsh but makes sense if they learn in the longer term

[poppy]

I've been using the Nappy Lady's technique since she suggested it to me few weeks ago after similar battles and it has been working really well. Like you, Saila, I found it a bit unsettling at first to be physically pinning him down, but with your leg across their chest you don't need to use any force and you can combine it with distracting them with a usually banned plaything (mobile phone, keys, remote control etc work for us!) My boy is getting much better at having his nappy changed without wriggling away with poo all over the place and yesterday I didn't even need to put my leg over his chest. Definitely give it a try and then persevere - it works for us!

[Saila]

the leg-over idea definitely sounds less harsh... The feet on upper arm idea felt like something out of one-flew-over-the-cuckoos-nest

i've been dreading nappy time :( - but now can't wait to try this as it'll make life so much easier if this gets sorted

edit to say: what really bugs me is, once the nappy's on everything's suddenly all fine again. No tears, just business as usual. We are left emotionally-scarred and they look absolutely fine!

[The Nappy Lady]

LOL - yep, they're not really as upset as they make out you know...it's just that they have suddenly learnt how to MOVE and they don't want to be still, even for a minute, or at least, only when they want to be still, not when you want them to be. It's amazing how quickly these compliant little babies become rampaging toddlers...brace yourselves, I always think of the escapee nappy changes as the turning point....

Poppy is right also about being able to distract them quite easily once in that position - I used to pretend it was a tickle game and had my little one laughing her head off as often as crying.

Honestly though, first time around I struggled with the best of them, didn't know about the leg thing, used to get really upset (as you are all describing), then another Nappy Lady told me about how to do this and it changed my life. With my 2nd I did it from the minute she started playing up and in less than a week I was hardly ever having to do it at all (I would just threaten her with it!) - only when she was in a really non-cooperative mood - stroppy/overtired etc. etc. did I actually have to resort to it. I reckon the sooner you tackle it, and make it clear that you're not going to put up with any nonsense, the sooner they will get with the programme...babies are so much smarter than I ever used to give them credit for. The more I've seen over the years the more they amaze me.

I think most of us are probably much 'softer' on our first children, simply because we don't have the experience, and of course they are our so precious to us, we probably don't adjust to the concept of our tiny newborn being so calculating and willful just a few months after they arrived in the world. By the time you have your second you are so much wiser and aware of the tantrums etc. to come. There was a thread the other day about tantrums and almost all of us were saying that 2nd time around they have been much easier to deal with (i.e. ignore!!).

Hang in there ladies, brace yourselves for a few nappy changes where baby may appear very cross with you for a few minutes max, and hold that thought re the happy, giggling baby you'll have back in a few minutes, and without the entire changing area looking like a small nuclear device has detonated in it!

Oh - and really pleased that it has been working well for some of you too :))

xxxx

[poppy]

Yes, thanks Molly - this was SUCH a great tip from you!!

[kristymac1]

Try this Rabbitts changing mat - literally changed my life! DD became immediately submissive, and we only had to place the straps over (with toys attached) and never had to strap her down - honestly, one of the best baby/toddler items we bought.

[Saila]

I tried 'leg-over-move' this morning and it was stress-free.

thank you, thank you

i've already passed this tip on to a mate at work who's having similar issues

[The Nappy Lady]

Brillant news. :-)