poppy

Ah, sorry to hear that Alex. Useful to know though - thank-you.

Hi there, has anyone had a loft conversion done by Landmark Lofts? If so I'd be really grateful if you could send me a PM. I'd be really interested in your experience with them. Many thanks!

Just wondering whether Harris Boys might have another OFSTED inspection - does anyone know what happens with outstanding schools? I'm really impressed with what I've seen of the school and definitely considering it for my son in a couple of years but the ofsted report is from 2011. Is it likely to get reinspected any time soon?

Hi Annie, I don't have any first hand experience of Heber so apologies if this is irrelevant, but if it's small and supportive that you are after, have you looked at Harris, just around the corner? It currently only goes up to Yr 3, with small classes, amazing results and their whole ethos is incredibly nurturing.

Thank-you all for replying. Reassuring to hear that once a week seems standard. I am planning to speak to his teacher so it's really helpful to have an idea of what is "normal" at this stage. Yes I agree reading at home is what matters, so thanks for suggestions of Reading Eggs and the Reading Chest - I will research later!

I wondered if other parents of reception-aged children could give me an idea of how often their children are reading at school. I have had some niggling concerns about this with my son but as he is my eldest I have no idea about what other schools do or how much is usual. As far as I can gather he reads to a teacher once a week at most, his reading book normally stays the same for about 10 days and this week we have had no book at home at all since last Thursday. His reading record book is filled in by his teacher about once every 10 days when the book changes. On the other hand, they do phonics daily and he is improving, so I'm trying to tell myself it doesn't really matter. I just expected him to be reading a little more frequently in school- but maybe I'm expecting too much at this age. What do other schools do?

I'd love to come to a parents' meet-up. Norfolkvillas, I'll pm you my email address.

Robin Bosher is indeed at Ofsted but I thought he had just been seconded for two years? I don't know much about Fairlawn currently but having been to the open evenings about Harris I can't see any good reason why it won't become an Ofsted-rated outstanding school given Harris's experience of both turning around failing schools and achieving outstanding Ofsted ratings. I know no-one's got a crystal ball but this is a brand new school in a relatively affluent, middle class area so without some of the challenges of trying to turn a failing school around. They clearly know what they are doing and they will have a group of families keen to support them. We are rejecting our LA offer at a "good" school mainly because we are excited about being part of a brand new school but also because we live the other side of ED so want a foot in the door in a couple of years when it's bound to be oversubscribed and our second will be starting reception.

Count me in too! My son will be at Harris but it's a long way from his nursery so I doubt he will moving on with any of his friends. Really looking forward to getting to know other families. i think (hope!) there will be a lovely community feeling given that our kids will be the only ones there. Little pioneers!

Arghhhh! I have just phoned Southwark admissions to find out our position on the waiting list for St John's and Goose Green - our first and second choices but both non-community schools. The dates for releasing these waiting lists have changed AGAIN. Southwark's letter says 22nd April, then was told 30th April, now they say 7th May. The woman at Southwark had no clear explanation for the constant change in dates other than that it was "delayed". So frustrating and so maddeningly arbitrary, given that the schools have told me they have passed their waiting lists back to Southwark to manage centrally, and Southwark have released their waiting lists for community schools. Renata or James, any way you can chase this please?

Sorry - posted in error

Thanks again for more helpful posts! Very reassuring and comforting to hear we're not alone, and that it does pass. I was starting to feel I had a junior psychopath on my hands! Juni, thanks for your post and the link - very interesting food for thought and useful to consider a different approach. I do think frustration plays a huge part in this type of behaviour so will be concentrating on developing language needed to express it, as well as more appropriate behaviour. Thank goodness for this wonderful forum!

Many thanks all for taking the time to reply, and for your helpful suggestions and reassuring words! I really appreciate it. DG2, yes I did ask my friend what she would have done - she had no new ideas really, hence my post here. Sillywoman, that is really helpful advice, thank-you. Not dissimilar to what I meant by putting him in immediate time-out but lavishing lots of attention and sympathy on the other child and withdrawing my attention from my son I am sure could be a useful extra step. Belle, yes we will definitely be reintroducing the sticker chart!

I would be so grateful for any advice anyone might have on how I can deal with my son's occasional hitting. He is 2 and a half and for the past six months or so, every so often, he hits other children. It's actually mainly one particular child who, bless him, never hits back. My son doesn't seem to hit out of malice - it's mostly over-exuberance whilst playing and sometimes, to a lesser degree, frustration (e.g. someone taking a toy from him). Today he hit this child with a stick in the park (they were both running around waving sticks) and apparently it was really quite hard, unprovoked, and left a mark. My friend (his mother) was understandably really upset and now I feel just AWFUL. The way I currently deal with it is to tell him off and put him into immediate time out if I see it happen. We also have a chat on the way to every playdate about what it means to play nicely (my son now chants like a mantra "no hitting, no pushing, taking turns and sharing toys") and he has until recently had a sticker chart for getting through playdates without hitting or pushing. We haven't bothered with the stickers recently as most playdates are actually fine. I also try to pre-empt situations which I think might lead to hitting, for example had I seen the incident today I would have taken the sticks away. I'm also quite strict about what he watches on TV so he doesn't watch aggressive cartoons or anything like that. I find it absolutely mortifying but am struggling to think what else I can do. I'm also about to have a baby so now I'm a bit panicked that it might get worse once the baby's on the scene. I would be so grateful for any tips anyone has - thanks!

I've just had a very similar experience - high nuchal translucency, 2.something MoM Hcg and 0.3 MoM Papp a which all gave me a 1 in 6 risk of Down's. They did a CVS there and then and our baby is absolutely fine. I also had a very similar result with my son who is also completely healthy, so I guess sometimes it's just the way our bodies grow babies! I do really feel for you though, it was the most upsetting and stressful few days in our lives waiting for those results. I found the consultants really helpful in answering my questions over the phone after the scan - it's much to take in at the time. Also, pester the midwives for your results on Wednesday if you don't hear - I was expecting mine on a Friday and although I tried haranguing the receptionists, it was only when my midwife chased it (I happened to have an appointment with her that afternoon) that they told me my results. Anyway, this post isn't to say not to worry as of course you will, but just to let you know that it is possible it can still all be fine. You have my sympathies - it's so upsetting and worrying. I really hope you get good news soon. xx

Thanks DJKillaQueen and James! Good to know that something is being planned.

There seem to be regular threads about this junction, and every time we are told that the council/TfL are aware that it is dangerous and that it is being "looked at". Can anyone (maybe James Barber or DJKillaQueen) cast any light on when they will stop looking at it and start actually doing something?? It sounds as though improving this junction has been in the pipeline for years.

Sorry for going slightly off the topic again but just to return very quickly to the earlier discussion about sleep training methods that involve crying. I think what is often forgotten in these debates is the potential negative consequences of NOT doing sleep training. Exhaustion, which clearly results from long term sleep deprivation, is a major contributor to postnatal depression and the evidence that a depressed mother can have quite a marked negative impact on a baby is much better established than the potential negative consequences of controlled crying, the evidence for which is actually not very established and pretty mixed. So I don't think any parent who is at their wits' end, out of their minds with exhaustion, tearful and depressed, should be made to feel guilty about using sleep training as a way to address their own sanity as well as teaching their baby to settle themselves - it might actually be the best thing for both the parent and the baby. That said, sleep training should be done in a consistent and planned way to minimise undue distress. Sorry for slight deviation - to return to the original post, Rahrahrah, have you considered consulting a sleep nanny or asking your HV for a referral to the sleep clinic? I would second earlier suggestions to think about hunger and other causes of not sleeping as well. 7m is still very little and to do CC you would need to be absolutely sure that there were no other reasons for being wakeful, including having eliminated all night-time feeds first. And at 7m that might be quite tricky. It will get better though!

I don't think it's just that health visitors are misinformed - I suspect that there is debate amongst dentists themselves. I remember being told by a paediatric dentist from Kings to use adult toothpaste because they need 1400 ppm fluoride, and then when I took my son to his first dental check up at 16months a different dentist told me that that was too strong and to stick to kid's toothpaste. Very confusing! Incidentally my son does have a couple of small white marks on his front teeth which I can only attribute to the adult toothpaste - so upsetting when you are only trying to do the best for your children:( Needless to say we are now on kiddie toothpaste - I figure as long as he gets teeth brushed twice a day, regular check-ups and limited sugar we can't go too wrong (fingers crossed). PS Thanks for the toothbrushing tips Molly! I also find tickling works (a quick brush while they are laughing their heads off) Edited to add: both times I was told just to use the tiniest smear of toothpaste for babies and toddlers - just cover the little blue spot on the Colgate baby brushes - so with such a tiny amount perhaps the difference in strengths of toothpaste is actually fairly negligible anyway??

Yes, if you want to go by coach both the Oxford Tube and the X90 go from Victoria coach station. My preferred train route is Peckham Rye to Victoria, Victoria line then Bakerloo line to Paddington (faster than district or circle line), then direct train from Paddington.

We have this: scuttlebug My 22-month-old LOVES it and zips around on it at breakneck speed (you may not think that's a good thing). It isn't really safe to use as a mode of transport the way the smart trike can be, but he rides it in the house and in the park and the really fantastic thing is that it folds up small enough to stash under the buggy. I am currently contemplating buying this for Christmas as a less-plasticky alternative to the Smart trike: italtrike I think it's lovely, and it has rubber rather than plastic wheels. The downside is that it doesn't have a safety strap but you might be able to get one separately.

I think it's because they love you!! I know, funny way of showing it, but I think your toddler knows he can play up with you and push the boundaries because he is secure in the knowledge that you won't abandon him and, as his mother, your love is totally unconditional. He can't be so sure of this with other carers. But srisky is right, the important thing is that they CAN behave well. I think as toddlers, pushing the boundaries is all part of learning what they can and can't / aren't allowed to do - infuriating for us parents though!!

Oh Susy, so sorry to hear your story. I'm not a single parent and so i don't have advice, but just wanted to tell you how brave I think you are and please don't feel guilty. I totally agree with you that it's not right that your daughter should see you being hurt - personally I think you have done the right thing. I really hope you are okay and I think your daughter will be absolutely fine with one single but happy mummy who loves her. Wishing you all the best and hope it all turns out okay. There are lots of parents out here who will be happy to give lots of support, both emotional and practical, I'm sure. xxx

What a lovely idea! What about a set of pencils or pencil crayons with his name on? Or a fountain pen if you were thinking of more of a keepsake type thing?

Congratulations Ruth! Wonderful news - love the names you have chosen. Hope you are feeling okay and enjoying getting to know your little girl xx