poppy

Thanks jenc and supergolden88! Yes yes, I agree that there is a lot of pressure to follow certain formulae outlined in various baby books with the presumption that if you do so, your child will sleep. Trouble is, if they don't, it's very easy to feel that you've somehow failed. Anyhow, having said that, just last weekend I too bought Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems - I agree SG88, it is really helpful, especially the stuff about understanding sleep cycles. We are now on structured plan to wean my son off his nighttime feeds, but am keeping an open mind... maybe it will help, maybe it won't, but at least it'll eliminate one possible cause for such wakefulness and for now I feel as though we're heading in the right direction. Good luck with your pregnancy and hope the next one turns out to be a beautiful little sleeper!!

Oh Ruth, 3 hours, poor you! No worries at all about today, sounds as though we were both feeling a bit miserable this morning. Hope Seb goes back to better sleeping very soon. Thanks Fuschia for the book recommendation - I will search it out. Those manuals do make me feel as though I've been doing it all wrong and I have found it hard to accept that doing X and Y won't necessarily lead to Z! Sounds as though that book might be helpful in keeping a sense of perspective. Fingers crossed for a better night tonight all round!

hank you all for your kind replies! I do feel reassured that I am not the only one to struggle with sleep deprivation along with nagging guilt that perhaps I'm getting it all wrong. Snowboarder, I think I might be in the same boat - albeit several months behind you- in that I need to be ready for things to change because I suspect deep down I could push back his middle of the night feed if only I could face walking the floors with him for a little while each night, and be persistent with it. But I can't - yet! But I do feel reassured that perhaps it's not so bad to feed him/rock him/bring him into our bed given that that's what he needs right now and also I need it too for the time being just to stay a little bit sane. I've just been feeling bad about it since being criticised by a (well-meaning I suppose) in-law last week for 'making a rod for my own back'. Good to know that many of you have small children who are now sleeping much better despite all these rods we've apparently been making - thank you!

Thank you all for your kind replies! I do feel reassured that I am not the only one to struggle with sleep deprivation along with nagging guilt that perhaps I'm getting it all wrong. Snowboarder, I think I might be in the same boat - albeit several months behind you- in that I need to be ready for things to change because I suspect deep down I could push back his middle of the night feed if only I could face walking the floors with him for a little while each night, and be persistent with it. But I can't - yet! But I do feel reassured that perhaps it's not so bad to feed him/rock him/bring him into our bed given that that's what he needs right now and also I need it too for the time being just to stay a little bit sane. I've just been feeling bad about it since being criticised by a (well-meaning I suppose) in-law last week for 'making a rod for my own back'. Good to know that many of you have small children who are now sleeping much better despite all these rods we've apparently been making - thank you!

So sorry to start yet another sleep thread bit I'm hoping for a bit of moral support and reassurance rather than advice really. My son is five and a half months old, and has always been a terrible sleeper. On a typical night he'll wake three or four times, and if he needs a feed he's especially difficult to resettle afterwards and I'm lucky to be back in bed within the hour. In the last month I thought we'd turned a corner, as on many nights he was waking at 11ish for a feed and then at 3 or even 4 for another feed, and that was it. But now he seems to have reverted to his old ways for no discernible reason. Last night he was up at 1.20, 3 and then 5. I know he shouldn't really need a feed in the middle of the night now but he seems genuinely hungry and impossible to resettle without it. My health visitor just keeps telling me I need to teach him to settle to sleep on his own. I know she's right but I just can't seem to be able to - know matter how sleepy he is when I put him down, he wakes up and starts grinning (cute but infuriating in equal measure) and no amount of shush-bloody-patting seems to help!! So I've got myself into a very bad habit of holding him while he falls asleep. We've got a good routine and he naps well, he's started on solids and I feel as though I've tried everything under the sun bar controlled crying (which I think he's too young for) yet it feels as though nothing helps. This morning I've been stressing about the fact that he's almost six months old now and things should be better than this. I am just feeling in slight despair of things ever improving and I'm finding it very hard not to feel that I've gone very wrong somewhere along the line, and this morning it is making me very weepy (again). As I say, I'm not really looking for advice as there has been a lot of helpful advice on here already, but it would be very comforting to know if there are other mothers who have been through this and come out the other side, sanity intact! Edited to remove frustrated use of swear word from title of thread ;-)

Just to play devil's advocate, the consequences of many parents choosing not to have their child vaccinated decreases herd immunity, and therefore the prevalence of the disease can increase putting everyone (especially unvaccinated children) at greater risk. For example, measles and mumps are both more prevalent since people started refusing the MMR. So there are wider reasons to take into account when deciding whether to take up a vaccine, other than side effects which are generally very small, and overall considered to be less of a risk than the disease itself (otherwise it wouldn't be offered).

Just reread your post and realised I may not have answered your questions despite my ramblings above! I didn't get any sign of pre-eclampsia, my baby was born full term and he wasn't low birth weight. The labour and birth were completely fine too!

I had extremely low PAPP A and was told I had a 1 in 60 chance of trisomies 13 or 18 despite my risk of down's syndrome being low. I was also told that the low PAPP A, combined with 'lakes' in my placenta, may have been due to an underdeveloped placenta which could lead to low birth weight, still birth or miscarriage. It was completely devastating news at the time so you have my every sympathy. However, none of monthly growth scans throughout my pregnancy indicated any abnormality at all and my gorgeous son was born in December, completely perfect. I made a couple of tearful telephone calls to the consultants at King's who were really fantastic at explaining things to me - it was too much to take in at the scan itself and once I'd digested it I realised I had lots of questions. They were so kind and seemed really happy to talk things over, including the options for amnio / CVS etc. I also found it helpful to remind myself that 1) a 1/60 chance of something wrong meant a 59/60 chance of things being fine; 2) most hospitals don't even offer those blood tests so had I been elsewhere I would have been none the wiser; and 3) the team at King's are world experts in foetal medicine - if anything was wrong, it was the best place to be. I hope this reassures you a bit! It's just awful coming away from that first scan with scary news, but hopefully, and very probably, all will be fine. The monthly scans really helped put my mind at rest that nothing was wrong and meant I was able to enjoy my pregnancy more and more despite those few horrible weeks. I hope the same happens to you!

I'm sort of with Smiler on this - I had a very worrying start to my pregnancy and was very jittery about getting too excited, and definitely would have felt funny about receiving gifts - just not wanting to tempt fate. But a colleague who is also a very close friend baked some red velvet cupcakes and brought them in for our team meeting when I made my official announcement at work. The fact she had spent her evening baking them was really touching - and red velvet cupcakes are traditionally celebratory. For me it was a perfect and lovely thing to do.

Hi Clare, I'm in your NCT group so you will have to figure out who I am, hehehe!!! We should have talked about this yesterday afternoon over our cake - we've just started Monkey Music at Goose Green and Sparkle Music at Barry Road church. Both very similar but W loves the singing and I get to learn new songs to sing with him at home - previously had to resort to Christmas carols as my repertoire was so limited! Sparkle music is on a Thursday morning at 10.40 and I think they still have spaces left if you fancy coming along. I can forward you the instructor's email or if you google it you will find her website. As you know we've also been to the Jelly Babies sessions at Peckham Pulse which is lovely at their age.

Thanks for the tips to book ahead - with the military style planning required to do anything these days it would indeed be disappointing to turn up and not get in. Don't worry Snowboarder, my comment about tiring my baby out was firmly tongue-in-cheek - seems he's a committed non-sleeper no matter what so if it does wear him out it will be a huge bonus...and I'll be block booking every Jelly Babies session going!

Brilliant, thanks so much Molly for your advice and the link, I have ordered a Happy Nappy! Ruth, a friend of mine took her baby swimming this week and it really wore her out (the baby that is, not the mother) so you never know, perhaps it will do the same for our little night owls!

This sounds like a silly question, but I want to take my 3-month-old baby boy swimming, and it occurred to me that I have no idea what the etiquette is regarding the most appropriate attire for a baby swimming in public! Obviously we need a swimming nappy, but should he be wearing little trunks as well? If so, where can I buy them? I don't think I've ever seen such tiny Speedos for sale! I am thinking of going to the Jelly Babies sessions at Peckham Pulse - is this appropriate for a 3-month-old or will it be chaotic and overwhelming with lots of splashy and overexcited (but lovely) toddlers? Any advice would be gratefully received!

Hi HeidiHi Sorry to hear you've had a horrible scan experience - I feel for you as I've just had four weeks of worry following two scans at 12 and 13 weeks where they scared the living daylights out of me so I can imagine how you must be feeling. I also left both scans with loads of questions, but since then I've then had two telephone conversations with consultants there who have been so patient and helpful in explaining things to me and answering all my questions - even when I was in tears at the other end of the phone. Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that you might find it helpful to do the same. I was worried about hassling them when they are so busy but they seemed very happy to talk things through with me and I cannot fault them for their patience and understanding with the calls I made. Good luck and I hope all turns out well for you.

Hi - I've only just seen this thread and am v excited - it sounds FABULOUS! I've heard about the N1 WI before and thought it sounded fun, so if there's room for another on Tuesday I'd love to come.

Argh, so it's you who parks outside my house!! I have to agree with mixulee on this one - I am also fed up with driving around the block a couple of times only to have to park a few streets away and would happily(ish) pay for a permit. It took me ages to work out why this bizarrely seemed even worse during the week than on a saturday...until I realised that people are parking in my street to go to the station as well as to shop (I live a few blocks away, so this was not as obvious to me at first as it now sounds!) I don't think trains into town every ten minutes can be considered infrequent, and perhaps if we did have a CPZ it would deter people from driving simply because they are running a few minutes late! And before this triggers another "just sell your car then" rant, I work in the NHS and need my car to visit my patients. Of course there are downsides to having a CPZ, and of course with so many flats, demand might outstrip supply, but knowing that you're being asked to pay a fairly hefty sum for a permit might cause people to reconsider whether they need their car - I once lived in an area where I would have to have paid over ?100 and decided to sell my car because on balance, it just wasn't worth it for the convenience of being able to drive to Sainsbury's now and again.