A day in the garden before May's deliverance

[jaywalker]

I found myself overcome with emotional despair listening to May's deliverance speech this morning. Wisely decided to spend the rest of the day tending the garden (always reminds me a bit of Peter Sellers in Being There, but there it is).

Of course if one doesn't get a grip on the garden at this stage in the face of so many threats it will run away with itself. Courageous acts of pruning are essential. The soil must be dug over and stones removed. The healthiest plants must be moved to where there is greatest light so that they can realise their full potential. Sickly plants must (with a heavy heart) be composted. Unruly and disorderly plants must be ripped out and sent for recycling. Emergent pests must be destroyed for fear they will multiply, especially anything non-native. The incursions of foxes and cats must be rigorously policed. The security of our plants (rather than those of our neighbours or those simply borne on the wind) must be steadfastly defended. To speak in favour of wild gardens or vermin is heresy and undermines good order. Parakeets, especially, must be prosecuted - they are not real birds.

Gardens, like Society, Must Be Defended, as Foucault put it (with eviscerating intent).

[malumbu]

I'd build a big wall to keep all the unwelcome invaders out.

[Muley]

And make the foxes pay for it?

Personally, I'll be water boarding any squirrels entering my garden.

[JohnL]

Muley Wrote:

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> And make the foxes pay for it?

> Personally, I'll be water boarding any squirrels

> entering my garden.

only the Grey migrant ones the red ones are pure british - I was brought up with that too :)

[malumbu]

Grey squirrels are our friends as well as starlings.

But not Canada Geese, oh no. No special relationship there!

[KidKruger]

I'm just paving over the bloody lot, that'll put an end to it all.