Crouching mummy sleeping baby

[MrsMc]

Just laughing at myself thinking about my stealth crawl across the nursery floor last night to switch on the baby monitor. I even did a little combat roll. Glad to say the boy did not wake up to catch me in the act, even when I happened upon the creaky floorboard. Parenting: leave your dignity at the door.

Most ridiculous thing you've done?

[alieh]

Too many to count! I have the baby monitor hidden in a black sock because I thought the miniscule light on the monitor might be contributing to my son waking at 4:45 am. I put his cot in a windowless bathroom for a week on holiday because I was afraid he would be up crazy early if he shared our not-pitch-black room....loads more.

But the funniest one I've ever heard that still makes me laugh is someone who fashioned a fake arm out of some kind of stuffed cotton tube so that they could wrap it around their newborn to try to avoid him waking up every time they tried to put him down asleep!

[pebbles]

NOTHING beats my brother in law and partner. They don't have children but they do have a dog!!! Which they treat as a child.

Their dog becomes sick if they leave him (no joke, i've witnessed the sickness when they've left him at home to go out for lunch). So now if they want to go out they go upstairs to their bedroom (dog sleeps in cage in bedroom!) and they get into bed and then they, no joke, roll out of bed and crawl out of the door so that the dog doesn't realise that they've left.

We found out about this a few weeks ago and they know we're laughing at them but my goodness, i promise u we haven't stopped laughing. Suddenly all of our parenting rediculous things pale in comparison!!!

More please

[Ruth_Baldock]

MrsMc- I did the same thing to retrieve a bottle my husband had left in his room, to clean out and get ready for the 11pm feed.

A friend had to hug her hoover once because her son was scared of the noise it made (she did it to show him it wasn't scary, but a nice hoover). I have found myself doing the same.

Husband got Baby B to eat his lunch in Wagamamas by doing 'the aeroplane' with the spoon. This involved standing about 10ft away, and running at Baby B going 'whoooooooooooooooooooosh!!!' at the top of his lungs. I was MORTIFIED.

[MrsMc]

Haha Ruth - my favoured technique is to charge at the boy like a bull, the food laden spoon forming one of my 'horns'. Before charging, i make the bullfight trumpet noise if you know what I mean? Works every time, but only ever attempted indoors for obvious reasons.

Poss more ridiculous than last night's hijinks come to think of it!

[Ruth_Baldock]

That is BRILLIANT, and I will attempt to use it on Baby B for breakfast tomorrow morning (baby b is being 'challenging' at mealtime at the moment, fab)

Yesterday at the walk-in clinic, Baby B was making a fuss when we were waiting. I didn't want to take him out of his buggy and let him crawl around, like I'd normally do, so I sang him one of our favourite songs.

It's to the tune of 'The Stripper' and I sing it to him when I am dressing him, to stop him screaming bloody murder. It goes like this:

"A darling boy, a sweet-cute boy,

A baby boy, a little boy!

Stinky bum, stinky bum, sweet little bum,

Cute son, sweet little son..."

Ad naseum.

Oh, the shame. (worked though, Baby B was in fits of laughter. Ruth-1, Social Norms-0)

[ryedalema]

I bet if pushed (and presented with a plan of our house) I could map out every single squeaky floorboard and tell you exactly how much pressure you can exert on each one before the hideous 'eeeeekk' noise results!

It's quite a skill don't you know.

As for combat rolls - oh yes. But I can do one better. Now I know I'm a bit vertically challenged (5'2") but I've actually slept in the cot* with the little one.

*we don't have regular cot but a floor 'nest' made of one of those three part mattresses from Ikea and a blanket box (Cos being vertically challenged I used to have to drop her the last couple of inches). Still pretty squishy though with two of us in it :)

[The Nappy Lady]

Most ridiculous? Pushing a perfectly good but empty buggy with one hand, whilst carrying very heavy baby on hip/other arm simply because said child had decided this is the only way to travel!

I have been known to crawl out of a child's bedroom on my hands and knees more than once, thank goodness there are no hidden cameras in our homes eh?!

[Saffron]

Yep, all of the above!!!!!

[Helen GV]

bus journeys spent playing sleeping hand/ awake hand, or playing other stupid games involving voices and faces I hope never to see on camera... all while avoiding the looks of other passengers in order to pretend I'm not making a complete fool of myself in public yet again!